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Always One?

(106 Posts)
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Corryanna Thu 30-Jul-20 12:24:24

I know most friends/acquaintances/bystanders would say of my situation "There's one in every Church" and maybe add "Get over it!" or "Woman-up dear!", a younger Corry would have said it too, but never again.
A person in my Church causes trouble left, right and centre and nothing is done about it - they continue to upset lovely people and are not questioned by the Vicar or Officeholders, for fear of this one leaving and being upset. In the last 3 years this person has had 3 blazing rows, myself included,in the Church in front of other people (shouting close to and in our faces) saying why we are wrong , and nobody has stepped in to help.
Over the weekend this bully removed a notice on the notice board, informing people what happens next with our Ladies Group (this noticeboard is in a central place in the village). When I explained why I wanted the notice there I was told basically what they said goes, and the Vicar approves. I have since found out that my notice is not the only one to be rejected and we approached the Vicar. I wish we hadn't as he said it was out of his hands what went on the Church board.
I'm praying hard to try to accept this situation as God loves everyone, no matter how awful they are! I refuse to think about leaving the Church as I am/was happy here and have good friends. Any thoughts?

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Forestflame Tue 04-Aug-20 11:50:08

Corryanna, you say that this person tells lies and makes up stories about people. They need to be called out on this as this is definitely NOT Christian behaviour. Evidence of the lies also needs to be presented to your vicar who frankly needs to get some cojones.

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Corryanna Tue 04-Aug-20 15:24:02

Sorry not to reply for so long, we had visitors and have been visiting.
We moved here 5 years ago and it seems this woman has created lots of misery over the years, more than I ever thought possible. Loads of people know what should be done, myself included, but the resulting fallout is not worth it, especially at this time (with COVID 19 and lots of very stressed, lonely older people).
It is disappointing that our current Church leader feels unwilling and unable to say something to her. I think it would cause more harm to criticise her actions than it has done to say "No" to me (and others).
I've always liked the Gospel of St.Matthew, especially the end of chapter 5 "Love for Enemies", verse 46 hits the spot!
Thank you for your replies and advice - you have helped me to get over this.

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Fuchsiarose Thu 01-Oct-20 08:48:23

Seems to me that the vicar has a boss above him. Go there with complaints. And I dont mean God. Or maybe several of you invite her to an intervention like they do in America, to unearth why she behaves like this. Could be religious fervour. Been on receiving end of religious fervour, and told the devil resides in me as I dont go to church!

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MrsRochester Thu 01-Oct-20 09:24:17

Vetrep

How is she so powerful?

Interesting assumption, that “they” is female.

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nanna8 Mon 05-Oct-20 11:41:26

I changed churches after many years because the new Baptist Pastor was very judgemental telling people what to wear to church (not me, personally) and telling us off for chatting before the service even though some were lonely people and needed that support (!). Now I am very happy at a Presbyterian Church even though we are not allowed to meet in person and have to do everything online. Gradually people are leaving my old church for similar reasons which I find very sad because their heart is in the right place I think. I loved the old traditional hymns and the KJV but am getting used to the guitars and modern hymns and the NIV isn't too bad really.

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