He is here :-) :-) :-)

It is horrible to see and feel his fear but it is only natural as well , it feels like fear of abandonment but I would NEVER abandon him nomatter HOW hard it gets - I am here for him for the long haul and we will work through it all together

I wish he wasn't 'damaged' at all through this , but as long as he GETS HIS HEALING and becomes a secure , confident , happy little boy who is thriving I will be truly happy too as it does hurt to see him like this even though I expected it to a point I didn't exactly expect it to be how it exactly is as you never know till it happens and is in your face as it were but so happy he feels he can be himself and offload his emotions and look to me for reassurance too etc xx

I think 'easy does it' is the way to go x

Wonderful news Nannynoo! I can't believe it's taken so long. Hopefully not too much damage has been done.

He's lucky to have you. That sounds so patronising I know but I struggled to express the fact that you know the way to cope with him that's right for both of you.
The only way is up !
So happy for you both.

Enjoy the years ahead, Nannynoo and your little man. It is no surprise that he is insecure and may be testing you. You will get through it together.

I would ask for advice from the social workers, and read up online about adandonment.

I think you are doing very well.

You have my total admiration Nannynoo for what you have fought so hard for and achieved. Give it time - he will gradually relax and then so can you. These first few weeks were always going to be hard as he begins to believe that he is staying this time. Well done you. What a star Grandmother!

I think you are amazing, nannynoo.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things nannynoo and you have my total admiration for what it's worth.

I am so glad he is where he belongs. x

something like this might save your sofa

nannynoo I am happy for you - this seems to have taken so long and it must have seemed forever.

You will give him everything he needs and deserves emotionally and physically, from experience and from intuition and instinct. Xx

So happy for you. The fact that you knew at once how to let him express his anger shows he is in exactly the right place.

All the waiting and worrying and anguish was worth it in the end.

Your GS is one very lucky little boy nannynoo. It could all have been so different for him without you there fighting his corner.
I have such respect and admiration for you. Everything I've read from you leaves me in no doubt that you will be able to build his confidence and sense of security.
You are one incredible person, and deserve an enormous pat on the back. Enjoy all the happy times ahead

Ahhhh thank you so much guys , makes me feel tearful!!!

He had another hard time detaching at school time , took 2 of them this time to prize him away from me

But I KNOW it will get better and he WILL be more happy and secure or happy because he IS secure

Did another little wee on the floor this morning but then finished it off in the bathroom when I said he is a big boy now and to do it in the bathroom , if he regresses he can progress , if he is doing it for attention he will see there is no need as he has my full on attention from now on

Insecure for a while , yes , but soon to be secure I reckon now he is HERE

It is almost surreal and YET it feels so NORMAL ( and right ) for him to be here and it feels SO NATURAL , everything is just happening naturally and actually beautifully in spite of the problems as they are just temporary and he needs time to heal

Even the dog is playing up lol but then he did have my full on attention which he has to share now so he has adjustments to make too , so is a bit manic here at the moment but am staying as calm as possible and getting as much sleep as I CAN and my house now has the 'lived in look' for sure but am still so HAPPY in the midst of it all , one look at my GS's face makes EVERYTHING worth while!!! xx

I still cannot believe he is actually HERE!! x

Nannynoo - it's natural that he would regress for a time. Eventually when he realises this is his real home he will start to grow again.
He's had so many changes poor lad.
The main thing, look after yourself because you have to be strong for him.
Prayers continue!

I'm so happy for you nannynoo and I too think you are amazing. If I remember rightly, your DGS had a very successful visit to you recently, but then at the end of it he had to return to the foster carer (not your wish I know). It must have been so confusing for him and there's no wonder he is acting out now. He must be very worried the same thing will happen again, and no matter how much you tell him it won't he probably won't believe it just yet. In time he will feel safe and secure again and start to believe that he is here to stay, and you understand him so well that I'm sure it won't take too long. None of the changes he has had have been your fault, but you are the one picking up the pieces. But with all the love you have for him that shines from your posts, you will both get there in the end

nannynoo I am so glad that little boy has you in his corner. I pray he can feel safe soon. You are in my thoughts. All children need such love

nannynoo I am so pleased for you both, it will take time for him to realise that he is in safe hands.

Wonderful news nannynoo You seem to be doing everything right for him. I think you've got an exhausting time ahead of you, but if you can keep calm and level headed about it I'm sure you can both come through it . Th e poor little boy has been put through so much but I'm sure love and stability will wor k wonders in the end.

Thank you so much , just so want to see him secure and happy and thriving and will do everything in my power to ensure that happens

It is hard work but worth it xx

Am going for a facial tomorrow while he is at school , a nice treat , then the next day is his Birthday , he is the youngest in his class and will be having a little party at school which will be lovely then am going out to dinner just me , him and the dog lol and I think an ice cream sundae may be involved!

Am giving him the 'space' he needs , not too many visitors , in fact have been sending the neighbours little girl away at times as she turns up when she is bored ( which is pretty much every day! ) but he needs his space to mend and settle in so am putting my foot down and the first 'family get together' isn't for 2 weeks when hopefully the weather will be better as it is a barbeque but even then close family only , the ones who were THERE throughout this journey!! And then we CAN celebrate

I spoke to the SW today who said it is understandable due to him having to go back last time so of course he is scared it will / could happen again but in time he will realise he is here to stay and feel much more secure x

Your excitment is infectious, nanynoo. Do keep us up to date.

You are doing so well, Nannynoo.
It will soon be the school holidays and your DGS can have more time with you and start to relax a bit.
It's been so hard for you both but things are going from strength to strength now.

Wonderful news Nannynoo, I am very happy to read your GS is finally home with you.

Good to hear from you nannynoo. Your comments about keeping calm are spot on and a facial sounds an essential part of this week
He's bound to feel uncertain, especially given the fact he had such a good week with you then returned to his foster home. Is he changing school in september? I seem to remember you mentioned that. Look after yourself

Congratulations nannynoo, I am so pleased that you have your DGS home with you at long last.

It will be a very hard struggle ahead though. He mght play up as time goes on and if he does, you will have to have patience. He may settle and be ok, but as I see it, he will settle for some time and then, once he figures out what happened to him, he may be angry and want to express himself, especially as the teen years hit. It may be beneficial at some stage to get some counselling for him, although what you are doing in letting him hit the settee is a good start.

My son was eight when his dad abandoned him and I thought nothing of it at the time. I thought I was doing a good enough job for us both and that he was happy enough. How wrong I was. He has struggled terribly with the emotions he has about his father and it has been one hell of a rollercoaster. He hurt me with what he said, did, acted. But I have been the only one there for him in 18 years so he was bound to take it all out on me.

Just stay the course. Be there for him. Make sure he knows that you are going nowhere no matter what because that is what all the acting up is for. They try you to see if you will abandon them too but it wont happen in my case. He's my lad and I'm going nowhere. Keep telling him, as I'm sure you do, that you love him and that he is with you now and not going anywhere else. Hug him, but at the same time, do not spoil him by letting him get away with stuff too. He will be a teen one day and spoiling him wont do him any good later on. My son needs discipline just as much as love. It does him good to say no every now and then, and he's 18 now. After a few years of him playing up, testing the boundaries, hurting me and exhausting me, he has settled down a lot. He has started to mature, making his future decisions and being more responsible, so it does work out in the end.

I am so happy for you. Enjoy him, and let him enjoy you too.

You are remarkable, you have fought so hard and won, well done. You deserve a GN medal. [gold achievement medal] .