My daughter has disowned us.

mugnanny

I couldn't agree more than write a personal letter, not e.mail.

Am I being rude to ask but has this always been the situation, or did it start when your younger daughter started a family, meaning could she be jealous of your closeness. She obviously chose to go to Australia but it is easy to forge it can, dependant upon the person, make them feel a little bit vulnerable. I know that would be a very poor excuse that's why I am hesitant to ask.

All the best, fingers crossed for you.

How awful for you mugnanny, how strange that your daughter would believe the child above you, and how hurtful. JO4 is right, write to her, you have nothing to lose and plenty to gain, I am thinking of you, good luck.

Forget it all now!

Just write her a loving and kind letter.

Unless you want to prolong it.

I do have another Daughter at home a single mum I look after her child for her whilst she works. She is in touch with her sister all the time but is afraid of mentioning us because she does not want to lose touch with her. The biggest problem is with the eldest child who has been spoilt beyond belief and has control over the family the younger one has to give way to her because of her temper tantrums when the elder want her own way. The older child told the younger one that I had said she was nasty and when my daughter realised that it had been a lie is when she became abusive I think it was a loss of face on her behalf and also that she had to admit the elder child had lied. I mistakenly said she acknowledged receipt of gift and cards but she does not.

mugnanny, my heart goes out to you and will find so much support coming to you from other gransnetters who've suffered the same despair. My daughter estranged herself from us for 7 years, and although she just lived around the corner, it was as if she lived on the other side of the world. She didn't stop her girls coming to see me, and I think they would have come anyway, because they were 11 and 12 at the time. I still don't really know why she felt as she did, but over the weeks prior to the estrangement, she became cooler towards me, then one day she came to the door, yelled at me that I was 'No mother', slapped me and stormed off. All at the front door. It took 7 years of trying to get her back in my life, and during this time, I had to give up for a while, as I knew I was making things worse. Eventually, once she'd had her own grandchild, things softened, and now I visit her. It's still quite fragile and I'm very, very careful not to push myself onto her. I still sent cards to her during this time, though I don't know what happened to them. I can't advise you what to do, but even by sending cards to her and the children with vouchers or something in them will keep you in touch just that wee bit? Be kind to yourself, too. xx

Sorry, ditto to JO4's post - nellie jumped in before I pressed my button!

Ditto. The past has gone now, and the child should not be made to feel uncomfortable about what happened. Ask if you can make a fresh start because you love them all and miss them. Don't stop sending gifts - they don't have to be clothes or that age-appropriate to be suitable and welcomed. Good luck!

mugnanny this must be extremely painful for you...do you know why your daughter is not speaking to you,or if you don't know why ..have you other children who could mediate....has this all stemmed from the lie that your GC told,or was your relationship fragile before that...forgive me if I am being intrusive,but is there a history here and unresolved issues....are you new to GN,if so welcome to you,I am sorry that you are hurting badly and hope that we can offer you some help and support

Write - with pen and paper, not e-mails - and tell her how this is wringing your heart. Tell her you love her so much and that you are so sad about not keeping in touch with the grandkids. Don't refer back to why you fell out. Try to take it from here.