cut out of thier lives 2

My husband has found this for me, thought might help you ladies.

I have cried for days now, and go back to work on Monday. Can't believe there are so many of us out there.

I hurt for all of you ladies out there.

http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/books/helping-parents-heal/

typical an american publication as usual and well over priced!!!!

i personally think you get more help and feedback by sharing our thoughts etc on a forum such as this instead of putting money in som psychologists pocket!!

Well Dollie, sorry, but I have purchased it. I will try anything. Never even knew there was a thing called "parental alienation syndrome".

with the americans theres a book for everything lol...i will be interested to hear if you find it of any use...

Dollie Just because something is American doesn't mean it does not have some worthwhile ideas.
And while sharing things on a forum may bring a degree of comfort, looking at a problem from a different perpsective, and possibly outside your own comfort zone, may help to bring resolution. A professional can help you do this in a way that someone in the same situation perhaps can't.

Librachick I do hope you find the book useful. I looked at the link and thought it was interesting.
for you.

Parental Alienation is fact.
Pa is a social dynamic, generally occurring due to separation/divorce , when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of one parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible.
Of course it occurs with parents being alienated by their own children as well.

I don't post all that often on this thread because the pain of speaking again of how I'm feeling is awful.
I want to be part of my daughter's life, even if it's just on the outside, looking in. I want to see that she's alright and to see if she laughs as she used to. I want to be there if she's sad.
I have to make myself accept that there's something I've done or that there's something about me that has made her dislike me so intensely that she no longer wants me to be near her in any way at all.
There are times when I've felt this to be almost unbearable. Sometimes I've even felt that perhaps I must be so awful that perhaps I don't deserve to be here at all.
What I do know though, is that all of the rest of my family really do love me. And among these people are DD's 2 adult daughters.
I'll keep hoping. Always hoping that the time will come again when my girl will welcome me back. In the meantime, I just have to get on with it. As long as she's happy (and I believe she is), then I am glad of that at least.

Marelli your post could have come from me! That is exactly how I feel I. Lots ways. Sometimes I feel I cannot bear this pain and I just want it all to go away but it won't of course.

I have not think of my sanity and realise like you other people do love me and want me I their lives.

It is important not to blame ourselves I think. I know I did my best for my daughter and if only she would talk to me and tell me what I did that was so wrongl

However I have to try and accept she doesn't even like me anymore and even put horrid untruths about me in a letter to solicitor when we tried to organise mediation.

I so feel for you and there is. NO easy answer like otw say we have to try and carry on and enjoy our lives or that is such waste of the life we were given.

The pain of not seeing our firstborn gran daughter who we held at few hours old will never lessen.

I thank god every day for my lovely son !

LibraChick my son and I found that knowing as much as we could about Parental Alienation Syndrome helped enormously when he went to court to get access to his son. We researched all aspects of such behaviour and evidenced each point to demonstrate what ex-DIL had been doing to prevent contact. It helped me to have something to do, collating all the evidence, and I found that organisations like Families Need Fathers and Fathers4Justice have specialist knowledge in this area. Cafcass have used PAS information from one of these organisations to produce guidelines about contact with alienated parents.

Jane i didnt imply that because something is American doesn't mean it does not have some worthwhile ideas....my comment was a bit tongue in cheek as i think this country has become so americanised...

Marelli, Celebgran, whenim64, and all others going through this awful pain. I know exactly how you feel. When I first read these posts over a week ago, I felt so isolated, didn't know there was anyone else going through all this too.

Dollie reading Dr Joshua Coleman's site has given me the knowledge that this is worldwide. Yes I might be an foolish paying £7 for a book, but if it helps me then it's worth it.

Thank you janeainsworth I like reading, so if I can just try and understand why DD is like this, it may help me to survive and move on.

I miss DD and our 3GC so, so much, I just need something to get me through the next few weeks. I too have family and friends that love me. One day we may get to see our grandchildren when they are old enough to make up their own minds like you Marelli.

Thank you all for sharing.

Glad I'm back at work tomorrow, get some normality back after two weeks off. The pain and agony have been too much, first Christmas not seeing the GC and them not getting their presents.

www.drjoshuacoleman.com

it was my error libra when i commented on the cost i was looking at the 10 week course not just the book...i didnt realise you could just buy the book...

Librachick So sorry to hear your story.
As Minty rightly said 'Parental Alienation 'is a fact.
My son and I and my family have been suffering from this for 3 years during which time all contact with my GS has been blocked.
I'm so glad that you have been helped by the book you mention.We have to try and be positive and move on.
I have recently had positive help from a book-'Invisible Grandparenting' written by an American!! grandma .It is now available from Amazon.
I wish you comfort and support from whatever source

Evening ladies, a little late I know but it has not been a good day, not at all . I was so upset to read your story LibraChick this is such an awful situation but to have it happen with your only child must be unbearable. for you. I hope you find this forum helpful. Thanks for the tip about the book I'll look into that.

Interesting that you have been accused of having a drinking problem, same thing has happened to me! News to me and all who know me.

Oh Marelli and Celebgran if you had done something or things that would justify the terrible way you've been treated, don't you think you'd know what they are? I'm sure we all would. A 'friend' of ours recently wrote and told us that we must have done something, however inadvertently, to provoke such a strong reaction. Well if we had I can't honestly see how we could have forgotten what it was we did.

'Invisible Grandparenting' sounds really interesting Maniac I will go on Amazon tomorrow and put in an order. Personally I think it's helpful to give these publications a try. Even if we don't agree with every thing they say, they can still give us food for thought, and if they help us feel more positive about our selves so much the better.

Sleep well every one.

Hope you are both OK Celebgran and Yogagirl

Thanks ladies, I've just read excerpts from the book "Invisible Grandparenting", was very good. Just ordered to from Amazon too. We have already started a scrap book with photographs for our three grandchildren.

You ladies are so brave, I just hope that this rawnessi feel will alleviate at sometime in the very near future, but doubt it.

We have booked a weekend away at end of January and also looking at a break in May to the Dixieland festival in Dresden. I need to stop bubbling and get on with my life!

Thoughts and hugs to all of you.

A grandchild can never have too much love and caring.

It's 02:11 on Monday morning, better try and get some sleep, up at 06:45 for first day back at work after the holidays.

i was just wondering if the age of the grandchild/ grandchildren makes any difference to how we deal with this awful situation our children have put us in..my two grandchildren are 20 and 23 so are both adults now ...i do see them occasionally when they have time to call in which is very rare and it seems when they do they want something!!!...their mother and father have chosen to blank me over the last 18 months...they suffer with the ostrich syndrome ( burying head in the sand) our relationship started going downhill after her father died just over 4 years ago...

i did fallout with my daughter 15 years ago when my husband and i split up she took his side and i was banned from seeing my grandchildren for a year....i then took the drastic step of reconciling with my husband as it was the only way i could get access to my beloved grandchildren...ive never forgiven her for it and never will...

Libra chick I have been selfish not realising was your only child so sorry not that patina ynless extreme for those of us lucky enough to have to have normal contact with another child.

Well done smiless for posting sorry you had day.

Oh and I had inevitable I tiff over writing to estranged daughter, I end we settled after calming down for doing separate letters I did one on computer and attached 3 photos one of each of us our grandaughter first Xmas and one of us with my brother Gra daughter and we cut out any comments that would make it final. Now we calmer important leave door open.

Hope you feeing better today smileless and also how you yogagirl ?

Do hope you ok at work libra chick in way wish I had regular job but do have 3 clients this week so busy for me.

Heart scan tomorrow be glad when that over.

Keep strong everyone.

I will take look at this invisible grandparenting. Agree smileless we need keep positive have ordered relaxation cd from Amazon I need get b pressure down.

Dollie it must.make huge difference I think. We are beyond sas that we have 2 little Grandaughters one a newborn not allowed to see I will personally never forgive my daughter for that.

My crime was something unsaid after her grandad died I told her it was not so about her her dad had just lots his father and he was like a dad to me having lost my real one at 16. She was absolutely no comfort or support it was all about her and her baby. She also felt guilty that had only seen her grandad once in last year of his life.

Had long chat to my dear son Saturday and he says nothing I could have said or done should have brought on this cruelty for so long and I agree.

Those of us who sadly prevented from seeing small grandchildren ie babies are losing precious time that can never be got back.

Not that it is less painful for you Dollie I do think fathers and daughters have special bond but how cruel to do that to you her mum

yes celebgran thinking about it i can see that age does make a big difference..it must be heartbreaking not to be part of younger grandchildrens lives whilst growing up...it was a short estrangement albeit painful for me and the drastic steps i took to get back in contact with my grandchildren..my heart goes out to you all.. xx

Don't know if anyone is interested in an article in the Daily Mail online today about grandparents parted from their grandchildren. (I'm not good at links).

heres the link katy

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2534395/Barred-lives-grandchildren-seven-years-It-story-appalled-Britain-Yet-blameless-Christian-couple-STILL-face-torment-hands-social-services.html

Thank you dollie

I read that article and it concerned me that social services couldn't put their case. Reading between the lines, there's a concern about violence or other threats to the children's security from the father if he should turn up at the children's school and as he knows the grandparents' whereabouts, he could soon find that out. The grandfather has put himself in the public eye by appearing on TV. Social services might have needed additional safeguarding procedures for the family, which the grandparents haven't recognised. It doesn't help matters when the chair of the safeguarding meeting didn't respond to the grandfather's complaint that they keep getting the granddaughter's name wrong. How sad that they have not all collaborated in the interests of the children.

i agree whenim64 its the grandchildren that suffer everytime!!!!!!

It is more than sad whenim I feel it is disgraceful for a social worker to say whatever court rules they do as they like!

2 children have been denied loving grandparents it beggars belief!

Sort of. Story that gives you absolutely no faith In social services!

How dreadful to treat them like crimininals and not even allow normal contact despite the. Children's mother wanting it!

We realise they have to err on Caution but I know first hand in my niece case she has played them for revenge on her ex and stopped him seeing his 3 daughters there should be laws to prevent this I am ashamed of her for doing that. It seems them other is believed despite conflicting evidence.

It would be good to have a minister for this rather than worry about one for smacking children. No loving parent will hurt harm a child we not talking child abuse. So sad that so many cases do child abuse are ignored until too late, the system needs radical shake up.

I am ignorant of social services but is there a direct line. No if concerns are felt for a child?