Smoking when granddaughter around

As grandparents though, it doesn't really matter what we think because it's not our place to do anything about it. All we can do is express an opinion and take the consequences, if there are any.

We will all have different thresholds for what we feel is appropriate behaviour around our grandchildren. We will all have different experiences in our own lives to do with drug use, and many of us might have used drugs ourselves or had children who have used drugs to a greater or lesser extent. We will also have different attitudes towards alcohol and tobacco use and their place in our grandchildren's lives, not to mention the different views and attitudes in laws could hold and to which our grandchildren will be exposed. We have to trust their parents to care enough to put their welfare first. If we can't do that, we have some hard questions to ask ourselves and some hard decisions to make.

Nightowl You are so right about thresholds and attitudes to other drugs.
I will put my hand up and say that although I don't think I drink to excess, dinner wouldn't be half so enjoyable without a glass of wine.
It's never occurred to me till this minute to think that it might be inappropriate to do this in front of the grandchildren, but in fact my American DGC's other grandparents don't drink and they might well think we should keep the wine out of sight while the DGCs are around.
I wouldn't be best pleased if they said so, though!

Nightowl and Janeainsworth you both make very interesting points. My DD barely drinks - whilst I have taken full advantage of retiring as an unpaid all night taxi driver!

I think that it is important to leave parental decisions to parents. I try to support my children by offering advice (not always on request!) and by acting as a sounding board without getting too involved in the day to day stuff. We have to let our children live their own lives and make their own mistakes.

We can support our children by getting informed on the facts (cannabis smoke is much worse than tobacco smoke in terms of health detriment and the effects will affect children even if the odour is barely discernible) and we should act as advocates on behalf of the GC to help our children make decisions focused on the GC's best interests - but it is not really for us to take action.

I didn't have grandparents in my life, but my children did. My children really value the relationship that they have with their GP's even though the DH and I moan and groan about our parents! If our children decide that this is worth a healthrisk - we have to accept it.

My oldest DS who is autistic developed Schizophrenia when we lived in Portugal we discovered he had been smoking Cannabis and the specialist he saw in the Algarve had done a study and was convinced that Cannabis was a trigger for this awful condition. I am allergic to it and start violent sneezing whenever it is around. It is a dangerous drug no matter what anyone says and no child should be exposed to it. Your SIL needs to have hard words with his brother and his mother.