What would YOU do?

I do not appreciate being contacted by moderators who obviously go only on reports by a few posters. Perhaps if they took the time and trouble to read a few more of my posts, they might get a more balanced and fairer view.

No one is expected to keep 'true feelings' bottled up. What is expected is courtesy and understanding. If a member finds those two things impossible then it's better to keep silence.

A thoughtful response to a question should be expected. Insults and spite are quite out of order, here or in any civilised discourse.

J08 don't go there (January)! We'll have that chap, wotsisname, you know the one who likes very old women, making an appearance

It seems we are expected to be saints on Gransnet and keep our true feelings bottled up.

That is not for me.

Ladyblue I'm curious as to why you are judging the forum by the one narky response - J08 was outnumbered by about 20/1. You seem to easily take umbrage.

I wish we had a 'like' button Greatnan because I agree with everything you have just said. for you Ladyblue

Ladyblue not ladylike. Sodding fire

How is your other problem going ladylike? The one in your other post on Gransnet. In January.

Please don't go. The forum would be dull without you. Obviously.

Ladyblue please don't leave because of one person. The majority of posters are kind and supportive, Gnet is a comforting place when needed.

It can be difficult to ignore unkindness in real life and on here. Please stay

Jingle, I find your reply rude, unwelcoming, cruel and offensive.
Please don't leave, Ladyblue - most of us are kind and supportive.
Merlot, you are wrong. There are not always two sides to every question and I think it is unfair to suggest that there are.

Ladyblue, you are right to be disgusted by that comment. I am too and I'm sure that most people on this forum would agree with me.

Unkind, spiteful comments such as that give a totally false impression of members here, sadly, they appear when least expected. Please ignore it and do stay.

Ladyblue. I have only just read this thread and J08's comments are obviously not what you wanted to read. If you leave the thread you are just demonstrating to those who have offered you support that you are easily riled. There are two sides to every story and maybe your family are not wholly to blame for the unpleasantness.

Does flouncing off ever get anyone anywhere?

Ladyblue just wanted to say have read the thread and absolutely don't think you are whining at all, we have all used GN as a sounding board for problems we have had from time to time. Two very good reasons for logging on to GN, to get problems off our chests and secondly to draw on others' experience with similar situations.

I kind of agree with JO8 about Facebook, possibly this is a bit old fashioned in this day and age, but having seen some of the rubbish that "the younger generation" put out there for public consumption, I rather feel ignorance is bliss. I perceive many of that generation tend to live in the "now" more than we do and don't always give a lot of thought to just what they fire off and how it will be received.

j08 perhaps you could tell us all why you find it necessary to be so spiteful to a new poster?

Sprite or Spite - not my sort of person I'm afraid!

JO8 is our resident sprite.

Ladyblue Please don't leave. Most of us are very supportive to other members.

Thank you - sorry you saw it as whining J08 - needed to get it off my chest - I'll work it out - haven't experienced anything like this before and wasn't sure how to handle it...............for the kind comments - I thank you. For J08 - I will leave this forum so as not to bother you again with my whines!

Maxgran I did not want to fall out with my daughter and I didn't. I just removed myself emotionally from her verbal barbs and put up a wall between us until such time as she could learn to conduct herself in a manner conducive to harmony and respect. The way she behaved towards other people in fact, but seemed to think it was OK to treat her mother differently.
As I said, it has worked. Throughout it I continued to love her, but there had come a point where I didn't actually like her very much.

Do the Mums on Mumsnet agonise about the relationships that there are between their DCs and their DPs or DPILs? Somehow I doubt it. I do think Facebook is a danger zone from what I've heard. I have a rule to go on line only with a pot of tea at my side or a bottle of wine at hand.

Yes; it was an email that broke the ice with my daughter when I didn't have the courage to phone or visit [although waiting for a reply was sheer torture].

I agree with that Tegan

Would just say, though, that e-mail and text is also a great help to relationships at times. So much easier to put it all in writing, send it and then let the other person read it at their leisure, think about it and respond when they are ready.

Less pressured than a phone call or face-to-face conversation.

I also find e-mail communication has deepened the relationship with one of my DD.

I actually raised the most amazing kids I could have hoped for; socially aware, kind, courteous and hard working, but an aggresive comment from me at a time when one of them was under a great deal of stress caused a complete breakdown. All families and all people are different, as are all situations and sometimes it's best to tread on eggshells [sometimes it isn't; only we can judge that by knowing the people concerned]. I do think Facebook, emails and text messages have put a lot of strain on people in many ways though, and I wonder what social historians will make of it in the future.

Tegan

Its not about fuelling it.
You don't have to have a massive bust up or go mad - Its just that you do not have to tread on eggshells around people if THEY decide to cause trouble.

It depends on the situation really and if you have family who would deny you access to your Grandchildren because of a fall out you have with them then you do have a problem. I would remind my children that they should not use their children as a weapon to punish me - Its not fair on anyone, least of all the children.
Even if my children DID use my Grandchildren in this way - I would not be blackmailed by that. It surprises me how often I have read on Gransnet that children do this to the Grandparents.
What sort of people have they raised for goodness sake!

should read 'son in law' not 'dominate'