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They smile in your face the back stabbers

(53 Posts)
overthehill Thu 13-Mar-14 21:54:08

After something that happened recently I thought back over my life about a few instanced were I had been stabbed in the back. Actually only 3 or relevance.

The first was years ago. I worked up the city and they had a stock of company cars. They would sell these off cheap to the staff. I was after purchasing one of these cars and put my name forward when one came up. I was beaten to it by this other chap who worked there. I thought never mind, I'll go for the next one. This I did. I went to drive it home and I couldn't get it going properly. I told DH and he came up to have a look. He discovered someone had tampered with it and swopped the leads over. I guess it was the same chap who got the other car, it turned out he was making a killing selling these cars.

The next occasion was when I had been working as a temp in a local government office. I had been doing the job for nine months but when I applied to get the job myself permanently, the lady in charge deliberately told me I couldn't apply as it was only for staff already working there. I found out later this wasn't true and I could have applied. There is a lot more to this but that was an abridged version.

The last occasion recently and the most satisfying. I belong to a club and I suggested we set up a website. Along with another person I discussed this and we both agreed we weren't up to the job but I said my daughter could do it for us, free of charge. This was agreed, or so I thought. More people entered the fray then I later discovered they had other ideas and me and daughter was pushed aside and a deal had been struck with someone else in line to do the website. After this person agreed to do it, within days she came back and said she couldn't as she had too much on.
Where is will go now I have no idea but at least I have the satisfaction of it collapsing round their ears.

I'd like to hear anyone else's stories along these lines. Not anything to do with children/husbands/wives/ex's etc. not personal things.

Anne58 Thu 13-Mar-14 22:13:44

Why would the chap have wanted to swap the leads? And which ones?

(Sorry, I'm not very tech minded!)

janeainsworth Thu 13-Mar-14 22:18:38

Is it really making you happy, mulling over these slights, Overthehill?

Nonu Thu 13-Mar-14 22:27:27

Perhaps what has gone, should be allowed to let lie !

Ana Thu 13-Mar-14 22:31:55

You sound very bitter, overthehill. I'm not going to swap slights, perceived or otherwise, on here.

ninathenana Thu 13-Mar-14 22:35:23

phonex I'm assuming it's the plug leads i.e. connecting them to the wrong spark plugs.

overthehill Thu 13-Mar-14 22:36:09


They came to mind because of what happened recently. I don't spend my days thinking about them.


You and me both. It might have been the spark plugs now I come to think about it. The reason was, he wanted the car so by disabling it he hoped I wouldn't be able to drive it away. He hadn't reckoned on my DH though, who knows quite a bit about cars.

merlotgran Thu 13-Mar-14 22:39:22

The only time I've been seriously stabbed in the back I took the botox ridden old hag two faced, dishonest employer to court and won.

Don't get mad, get even! grin

janerowena Thu 13-Mar-14 22:47:56

I think it's always a shock to find that someone could cause you some kind of upset, whether intentionally or whether you are just a casualty of their machinations. I could name a few, but I don't want to start dredging up old memories.

None of the above slights were intended personally, they just show that there are some very inconsiderate people out there.

DebnCreme Thu 13-Mar-14 23:46:05

Thankfully the older I get the shorter my memory has become. One of the few good things to come from the ageing process smile

absent Fri 14-Mar-14 00:16:51

Is that strictly speaking back-stabbing? I thought it was basically criticising or attacking someone verbally while deceitfully pretending to be a friend.

sunseeker Fri 14-Mar-14 08:25:46

I normally prefer to forget any back stabbings or such but one does still stay with me. I had a friend who would call on me all the time to help her out, always asking me to sort out her problems and so on, once even ringing me on a Sunday morning in tears begging me to go to her place to sort deal with a problem. I did all this because I considered her a friend - then she suddenly stopped speaking to me, wouldn't take phone calls or answer an email I sent asking what the problem was. This was several years ago and I generally don't think about it but now and again it rears its ugly head and I wonder what happened.

annodomini Fri 14-Mar-14 09:12:49

In local politics I found that it was other council members on my own side who stabbed me in the back - the opposition tackled me head on. I was once stabbed very badly and the stabber is now in the House of Commons. angry

chloe1984 Fri 14-Mar-14 10:06:47

I also try not to dwell on things in the past that could be described as 'back stabbing' I have a saying that comforts me when I start to remember incidents etc........' they will get what they deserve, I may not be there to see it happen but it will.'

glammanana Fri 14-Mar-14 10:56:28

chloe1984 my sentiments also,anyone who has done anything untoward will get their rewards in one way or another "come's back and bite's them on the bum when they least expect it"

rosesarered Fri 14-Mar-14 12:34:45

I think that is wishful thinking! they may not get anything more than a great life! I have learned to let the past lie, it's so pointless even thinking about it [that's why it's called the past.]You can worry about today and even the future, but nothing is more fruitless than worrying about the past.

HildaW Fri 14-Mar-14 14:29:55

Think most of us have come up against nasty types who take some sort of pleasure in doing nasty things. I spent a lot of my 30s and 40s involved with either pre-schools, PTAs or other committee led educational organisations which seem to have more than their fair share of petty politics and spiteful people.
However, as I've got older and wiser and life has thrown some real disasters at me I have long since learned to let these things drift harmlessly into the dim and distant past. Yes, at the time I was probably very upset but I see no good in raking it up. Its all to easy to dredge it up and really depress yourself for absolutely no good.

goldengirl Fri 14-Mar-14 16:33:58

Wise words on here. Have a good cry. Blow your nose. Wipe your eyes. And move on. Life's too short

Ariadne Fri 14-Mar-14 16:40:21

Bitterness is corrosive - I agree, let it go and let it lie.

FlicketyB Fri 14-Mar-14 18:39:10

When someone attempted to stab me in the back, it wasn't the event I still remember but the fact that I hardly knew the person and when I mentioned this to a work colleague she turned to me and said 'Don't you know she really loathes you?' I was gobsmacked. It didn't bother me, but I still remember the sense of being taken aback that someone who hardly knew me and worked in a completely different part of the company could take such a personal dislike to me.

Aka Fri 14-Mar-14 19:09:42

Don't live in the past. Let it go.

overthehill Fri 14-Mar-14 20:18:35

From my last comment in the thread I have decided I am not a `team player`or for that matter someone who would want to serve on a committee.

I prefer to work alone on projects without the interference or unwelcome input of others.

We also belong to a camping club and a friend of ours in the club, who became Chairman, worked his socks off for the club. The last straw for him was when he deliberately drove from his campsite in France up to Yorkshire to help out with the catering to be told by someone there he needn't have bothered. Ouch!

FlicketyB Fri 14-Mar-14 20:20:22

Aka Nothing to let go. I never 'held' it in the first place, overall I thought the whole episode amusing. It was her problem not mine.

Aka Sat 15-Mar-14 07:07:59

Sorry Flickety I didn't make it clear that I was referring to the OP.

FarNorth Tue 18-Mar-14 14:00:07

it's possible there was another side to the camping club story. maybe the chairman was overdoing his help.
although it was tactless to tell him he needn't have bothered, maybe that was true and he should have let others get on with things.
(just guessing, i don't want to get into a discussion about it, tho smile

there are a lot of stupid / selfish / nasty people about and their actions don't always make sense so there is no point worrying about them once they are in the past.