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To feel sorry for myself?

(29 Posts)
rubylady Mon 01-Dec-14 01:23:19

I'm now six weeks since stopping smoking, which is brilliant, but after two courses of antibiotics, feeling terrible, I am now full of a cold and still feel awful. I just want to get on with Christmas things, seeing the town in lights, shopping, cleaning up etc. But feel lousy. And not getting any sympathy, help or even phone calls off anyone asking how I am off family who know I have been ill.

Marilyn quote " I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Surely if people want to be around you when well, they can at least call to see if you are ok when you are ill, or if live with you, make more than one cup of tea in three weeks?

Sorry for whinging, I am not a good patient.

Can my GNer friends help me feel a bit better? smile

rubylady Mon 01-Dec-14 01:26:57

My little doggie has been brilliant with me, however, getting up in the night with me, sleeping at my side, and not complaining as I've not managed to get her out the same. I would have been lost without her. Father Christmas will reward her well. smile

gillybob Mon 01-Dec-14 08:39:00

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling poorly rubylady these winter bugs can drag on and on making you feel all together rubbish can't they? The dark days don't help as they tend to drag your mood down making everything seem so much worse than it is. I really sympathise with you. I tend to be the person who looks after everyone else and when i am down or feeling ill I tend to just have to get in with it.

As for "Marilyn" we all make mistakes and we can all be hard to handle at times. Does she think that she is perfect? I do hope you are feeling better soon. Sometimes getting wrapped up and going out in the fresh air can make you fell 10 times better. flowers for you.

thatbags Mon 01-Dec-14 08:42:56

That's rotten for you, ruby. I hope you start to pick up soon. Have a soothing brew and put these flowers in a vase to cheer yourself up.

Grannyknot Mon 01-Dec-14 08:59:22

Ruby (chuckle) I assumed you were quoting Marilyn Monroe smile.

I really hope you turn a corner soon and start reaping the rewards of being a non-smoker (as you will!)

MrsJamJam Mon 01-Dec-14 09:11:51

So glad you have your dog for company, they are wonderful aren't they? In similar circumstances I try to find ways to spoil myself, things like a glossy mag, a cream cake and a few hours cuddled up on the sofa. Nurture your body so that it can get on with the job of mending itself, keep warm and rested. And keep chatting here for company!

vampirequeen Mon 01-Dec-14 09:21:34

That's horrible hunni. Don't give up on the ciggies though. I was ill for a few weeks after I gave up but it gets better. Don't know if it's an old wife's tail but I was told it's the body clearing out the toxins and the gunge.

annodomini Mon 01-Dec-14 09:36:31

If it's the same bug I had, it does take a long time to clear up. Feeling isolated doesn't help. But here you have an outlet where can vent your feelings and know that you will be understood. It's fine to be sorry for yourself. I always think that I might as well wallow for a bit in self-pity and give myself little treats - in my case, it's all too easy to go on line and get a new book for my Kindle but at least that's not fattening!

annsixty Mon 01-Dec-14 09:36:35

Ruby I hope today brings an improvement for you, and I do know all about family not responding. I try to be charitable and say they do not fully understand instead of the probable reality which is that they put themselves first. If they took us at our word they would have to do something and not just pretend all is ok.

NfkDumpling Mon 01-Dec-14 09:44:32

Like vampirequeen I was told that it's all the nasty gunk and tar clearing from your lungs and the rotten half dead feeling is withdrawal symptoms - so try to think of it as a good cold - it shows your lungs are getting healthier!

It will get better soon!

Nonnie Mon 01-Dec-14 09:50:01

Well done on giving up smoking. I too have heard that you get ill after giving up but it is so worth it, keep going.

Families are sometimes so busy with their own lives they don't respond as we would like and maybe think 'its only a cold' so get on and spoil yourself instead. I was miffed recently that none of mine asked how I got on with a hospital appointment but all asked about Mr N's! After some thought I decided that they all know I am a coper but that Himself needs lots of attention so told myself they didn't feel the need to fuss around me. Tell yourself the same thing! smile

Eloethan Mon 01-Dec-14 10:09:28

ruby Sorry to hear you're feeling so poorly and neglected at the moment. If you are quite resourceful most of the time, others don't always realise that you still need a comforting word and a bit of help sometimes.

Congratulations on giving up smoking. It doesn't seem like it now, but I'm sure you will eventually feel the benefit.

I hope you soon feel much better.

Iam64 Mon 01-Dec-14 10:32:26

Hey ruby - sorry to read you're feeling so poorly and fed up. I had a similar bug and 5 weeks on, I'm still a bit tight chested, still coughing at times. Look after yourself. My GP recommended I take vitamin C and Zinc, because the research confirms it aids the immune system. I get mine in the form of one tablet a day, Boots own make. Mind you, still coughing 5 weeks on, am I a good advert! I did do a 10 mile walk at the weekend though, so can't be that bad an ad. smile

pompa Mon 01-Dec-14 10:59:16

So many threads atm all on a similar theme. I'm sure these dark grey days are the reason many of us either feel down or cannot shake off illness. As I have just said on another thread, the first signs of spring are not too far away, once Xmas is over it will not be long before we see the first snowdrops and can look forward to spring.

Tegan Mon 01-Dec-14 11:15:44

Whatever you do ruby do not go back to smoking. I'm saying this because the time in my life when I smoked a lot was when my marriage broke up and I was feeling lonely and isolated; cigarettes were 'my friend' [that sounds a bit pathetic but someone on a tv programme about smoking said the same]. Also feeling a bit let down by my family at the moment, so I think we should give ourselves a virtual hug, ruby. Things will get better and you will be on the mend soon.

grannyactivist Mon 01-Dec-14 11:52:53

(((Hugs))) all round for anyone who's feeling under the weather/neglected or just out of sorts. Here, have some flowers too.

Thistledoo Mon 01-Dec-14 14:13:30

Hello Rubylady, so sorry you are poorly, hope the next few days will see an improvement. Well done giving up the fags though, I understand from others that this can be a difficult time. Yep I think you deserve to feel sorry for yourself, go on give yourself a treat of something nice like a promise to go to the hairdresser or to have a facial. I have also have a bug from hell and was prescribed a course of antibiotics today so hope things get a bit better. Know what you mean about wanting to get Christmas preps underway, I have done nothing, and the panic factor is setting in.
Get well soon, from a fellow sufferer. flowers

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 01-Dec-14 14:20:52

How long were you a smoker for? Six weeks is probably a drop in the ocean compared to your time as a smoker. Did you not hear the "Smoking kills" message any sooner? You will have to be patient now and wait for your body to re-condition.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 01-Dec-14 14:22:35

The Marilyn quote might have been alright for Marilyn.

Tegan Mon 01-Dec-14 14:40:17

When we smoke we know it's bad for us, but it's an addiction like other addictions. Good on ruby for finally managing to kick the habit. You can only undertstand how difficult it is if you've been a smoker.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 01-Dec-14 14:55:55

I'm sure it's very difficult to break any true addiction, and smoking would certainly be one of those. No point in expecting overnight miracles though. That will only disappoint. Having said that, anybody deserves sympathy when they are ill. So flowers rubylady. And chin up.

Stansgran Mon 01-Dec-14 15:05:03

Possibly you are better suffering cold turkey on your own. Just work out how much you've saved not smoking and write down the sum every additional day and treat yourself at the end when you've finally cracked. A chain smoking friend piggy banked the money and paid for a cruise . Just keep busy on the internet.

soontobe Mon 01-Dec-14 15:37:38

Are your family normally very good at rallying round?

soontobe Mon 01-Dec-14 15:39:04

I would advise you to give in to how lousy you feel. Have a good rest, feet up etc.
Then you should be rested enough to be raring to go.

rosesarered Mon 01-Dec-14 22:42:15

Get well soon ruby. People are not generally very good around ill relatives [they don't want to catch it.]Your DH/partner should be doing more for you though, don't be afraid to ask him.Giving up smoking is hard, but well done for doing it.