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FEUDING DAUGHTERS,,,,,advice please,,,

(39 Posts)
angiebaby Wed 03-Dec-14 21:19:08

my daughters are always falling out....i try to keep the peace,,but it isnt happening,,,im dreading christmas,,,have been told,,,im not spending christmas day playing happy families with her,,,she treats me like dirt,,,,,or im not spending christmas day with her boyfreind there,,,i dont even know him,,,the other one says,,,,im sick of her shes messing up this family,,,go and have christmas with her,,,count me out,,,,,,,for 2 pins i would like to shut the door clear off and check in to a hotel and sleep the day away till its all over, my husband says im a misery,,,,,he is a step father......he dont say anything to them to help sort it out,,,,,,,all i want is peace and my family around me,,,,i dont want to put any decorations up nothing,,,,its the same every year,,,,,,,even in the year,,,,,,,,,,,i also feel they dont come round quite so much if they do,,,,,its for 5 mins...or they want something,,,i feel very hurt,,,,,,,,,,,i have always been there for all good mums,,,,but im at the end of my tether,,,,talking to them ......i have tried,,,any advice would be helpful,,,,,thank you,

marylane1996 Sat 06-Dec-14 13:24:27

sorry to hear what you are going thro. One of my daughters doesnt speak at all to me and the other is abusive - things i could not repeat. Seem to spend the days crying and then get angry cos life is too short for all this. Xmas alone is not a good prospect but it is better than being treated badly. Keep your chin up

angiebaby Sat 13-Dec-14 22:36:52

hi so grateful for all your advice,,thank you each one of you,,,,as numbers says,,,bugger them...let them get on with it, yes you are all right,,,,should have christmas on our own,,,me and him, great not to put all the decs up,,,i usually go mad,,,,yes you maybe right,,,they might want to have chrissy on their own, but one has a live in boyfreind,,,the other is on own with her kids, i will miss the grandkids if they dont come but hey ho,,,,its only a day isnt it, too late to get a holiday....but we have funnily enough been invited to his cousins over christmas,,,,so thats a gods send,,,,thats my answer, !we will go,,,get out the way, i wont mind, for all the girls who are having the same problems,,,i know how your feeling....i have asked both of them lets go into london together have some fun shopping.......but they have both said not going if she is going,,,,,thats since i posted this,,,,!!!!!......thought that would get them together because i always do all the paying out,,,,but no. why are kids like this,,,families, i have 2 brothers and a sister,,,,everyone seems to hate each other,,,havent had a nice family christmas since i was little,,,,,then mum and da used to fight,,,,,,,,,oh well i will look forward to being away for a change,,,,,will let everyone know what happens,,,,so all the best everyone....have the best day you can,,,healthy new year. big hug.....

numberplease Sat 13-Dec-14 23:06:28

Yes, Angie, you and hubby go to his cousin`s and enjoy yourselves, put your feet up for a change..........that`s if they`re not too posh to let you put your feet up! My 2 sons don`t have anything much to do with one another, since their wives fell out about 18 months ago, but we don`t let it bother us, it`s up to them, they`re old enough to sort themselves out.

granjura Sun 14-Dec-14 09:27:34

Great you've been invited- and have a great time being looked after for a change.

With your daughters, I really would not make a big point of it- but remaine just calm and matter of fact. Enjoy. Joyeux Noël.

thatbags Sun 14-Dec-14 10:58:03

Have a fun day, angie. Way to go! Don't let silly squabbling kids get you down flowers

granjura Sun 14-Dec-14 12:47:06

My two have always been so close, and yet so different- very much number 1 and number 2. It nearly broke my heart when their respective men split them up. For me the best thing ever, is that with one of the (horrible, nasty, feckless, fraudster.... and more) of the men left behind in Spain- the 2 sisters are now best of friends again and so supportive of each other.

Let's hope they will find a way... if not, you'll just have to continue to live your life and not let it get you down (but I know just how you feel...).

Last year, I got the same card from both of them, with 2 days in between- and thought they'd bought them together. Found out much later that they'd bought seen the same card separately, one in Surrey and one in Leics- it says 'Mum's are like buttons, they hold it all together'- I've framed them.

angiebaby Sun 14-Dec-14 18:13:28

thanks again girls,,,,,,your all brill,,,,,

granjura Sun 14-Dec-14 19:12:18

Mums are (not mum's).

Humbertbear Mon 15-Dec-14 01:10:51

I don't get on with my older sister and I told my mother years ago that I was quite happy for her to spend Xmas with her if she wanted to but I was no longer prepared to do so. Strangely, my mother always chose to spend Xmas with me. It's ridiculous to think you have to spend what is supposed to be a pleasant day with people you don't like or in the middle of a feud.

FarNorth Mon 15-Dec-14 09:20:20

If you have two friends, both of whom you would like to spend time with, but who can't stand each other, then you would arrange to see them separately.
If that applies to offspring or relatives of any kind then it makes sense to take the same approach.

Glad you've decided, angiebaby and I hope you have a lovely time at your husband's cousin's.

angiebaby Sat 27-Dec-14 19:37:01

hi girls re read all your posts,,,your all great,,,tore the xmas decs down i was upset xmas morning also boxing day girl went away for a few days not wnting to spend christmas with any of us,,,,then she walkes in boxing day with a face like next week picked up the presents walked out put them in her car and cleared off,,,,,,,i will get the cold shoulder now untill she decides to come round,,,,,,so i will stay out of the way,,,,,,,anyway i will survive so they say,,,,,hope everyone has a happy new year and a healthy one,,,,will be on here shortly,,,,,hugs,,,

FarNorth Sat 27-Dec-14 20:54:11

Someone acting like that is being a bully. Don't let it get to you. flowers

numberplease Sat 27-Dec-14 23:40:05

She doesn`t deserve you worrying about her don`t! Didn`t you and hubby go to his cousin`s after all?