Iam64 you more or less have it in a nutshell, and your right the dad does play games as he always has done, its either that or he is just thick !to think anything of it, its a very delicate line we have to take when partners split up, I myself try to keep GS out of earshot and I don't want him to feel it is "his fault" which sometimes children do, it just gets frustrating at times, but we are learning to live with it and will be more "on the ball so to speak"
Faye it would make a lot more work for DD back and forth especially at holidays, as she would have to do every journey. GS doesn't always say he doesn't want o go, but now he is going on for 9 this year he loves to play out as DD with his mates, his dad is forever moving house so never makes friends, im sure that pretty soon he will eventually stop going.
anno DD doesn't' have the money for courts etc we have been down the CAB route for other things years ago, the courts can be long drawn out affairs, and goodness knows how much as DD is working, although on maternity at the mo. GS dad is very knifing, butter wouldn't melt in the mouth person, you know the sort! the ones that always!! comes up smelling of roses! doesn't matter what he does he comes out grinning.
I have acquired a bag of clothes that should suit, for "dads weekends"
thanks for all ideas everyone, hope it may have helped others.