On Christmas Day I will......

I peeked at the "other side" and was amazed at the vituperation and foul language - they do not seem a happy lot.

Scary isn't it Luckygirl...and they're all someone's Little Darling

Do you think "they" realise Luckygirl that one day "they" might be the person that no-one wants to spend time with at Christmas? or any other time for that matter

I have had some very unhappy times at Christmas and not always because I've been alone! Sometimes, it can be very lonely even if you have company if it doesn't feel right and communication is poor. The emotional charge of the Christmas period and the highlight on families being together and everyone being happy and getting on is just plain unrealistic. Don't take any notice of adverts such as John Lewis or the supermarket happy families - they are just trying to sell you something!
I have reinvented my Christmas but have been widowed for over 20 years now and it was hard to start with. Will meet up with others if appropriate and enjoyable, but otherwise chill out with really nice food and a lovely glass of wine or even a good cup of tea and cake in my own home. I usually go with a friend to Midnight mass on Christmas Eve and that makes it all seem quite special and makes up for feelings of sadness or desolation. I'm not saying that it would be great to have a loving family, but that's not going to happen. As time goes on, it is easier to adapt to life changes. My friend is not a churchgoer but is very happy to attend such an unlifting service, especially as the church looks so beautiful with lovely greenery etc. She then goes off to her family and quite often moans about it for the next few weeks!

You don't say why you are alone but my remedy is as follows:
Plan the whole day as if you are not going to be alone.
Go out now and buy yourself some gifts, wrap them and put them aside for Christmas Day. Decorate your house for Christmas as you would if visitors were coming.
Shop for some foodie treats, including something more interesting than toast for breakfast.
Cook yourself a Christmas dinner with all the trimmings even if it's a turkey breast rather than a full size turkey.
Watch all the rubbish on TV.
Have a drink and some chocolates and open your gifts.
Treat yourself as an important Christmas guest.
Remember it's just a day.

gillybob

I occasionally read in this thread DH is not very sociable and this being a contributing factor to why you are not visiting people at Christmas. Is this a time to be a little more firm about this situation, even saying, I would love to go so I will go on my own if you don't want to come, or similar.

It reminds me of a film Housewife 49 starring Victotis Wood and taken from the book Nella Last's war. Well worth watching.

Oh and Mollie you are rewarding bad behaviour. Book yourself into a hotel this Christmas paid with all the money you save from not entertaining these ungrateful people. Imagine all the pleasure they will have moaning about you and hopefully they will never speak to you again.

Good post auntbett. I certainly remember some grim Christmases as a child, surrounded by family.

Anything that is different from those days is great. Every Christmas is different, depending on circumstances. If it's to be celebrated at all, then make it your own - not what advertising or tradition dictates. It's not always easy, surrounded by such brouhaha, but deciding how it will be and making the best of it eases the day.

Best wishes for all those who wil celebrate a virtual Christmas on GN. Make it a day.

Good post Anneliz

I really feel for those of you who find Christmas difficult for whatever reason. I know circumstances can suddenly change and any of us could find ourselves in this position. I pray you'll find some comfort on the day.
This year we'll be 12 for dinner and probably a few more in the evening. The Sunday before we have our big family Christmas at our house, my sisters and I and all the children & grandchildren 36 of us this year, barely controlled chaos - but I love it.
As a Christian I do try to remember that it's not all about parties and presents but I love them too - and the face of the driver delivering all the wine!!

I am not a fan of Christmas and always dread it. I have many years of memories of Mum and Dad arguing when I was a child. Mum became a Jehovah's Witness which made Christmas very difficult and eventually they parted when I was sixteen.
I will be fine this year as we are going away - we are taking my mother-in-law to Singapore as it's her 80th birthday in December and she lived there twice when her husband was in the army. She has been back several times since but now she is on her own she wants to go one more time and I am more than happy for an excuse to get away at Christmas.

Ill be sort of alone because my so_called long-time partner will be in his bed until one o clock, then all grumpy when he gets up. I've got no children and my siblings are miles away. I have got a lovely lurcher dog though . I'm always glad when it's all over.

Kick him out. Just keep the dog.

I can't because he,s old and also I signed over 35 per cent of my house in an effort to cheer him up. I must not moan.

But I do go on holiday on my own, usually to brother or sister or just exploring English cities. It annoys me that some people just choose to be horrible instead of happy. I usually go on holiday in the Spring. I've gone off the threads subject now.....sorry.

Jinglbells the younger crowd on MN are indicative of the 'me me me' syndrome. My DH and I will be spending yet another Xmas D on our own, even though the DD, SILto be and DGS live only half an hours drive away. They won't /can't come to us x day as she has to share the DGS on that day with her ex hubbie. Or she's just too tired/doesn't want to drive or stay over etc etc. The one and only time she invited us on x day to hers was the first xmas after my mum died 10 years ago. But, wait for it, the offer on the phone to me went like this "I thought you might like to come to us x day this year, especially after Nan has passed away. So if you come over after you've had your Xmas dinner, I'll make a light tea, sanis or similar and we can play games" Needless to say, I was dumbfounded! She is nearly 40 and has never ever invited us for xmas dinner. We're going to have a quiet few days on our own and then maybe go somewhere in a premiere inn for a couple nights. They tend to drop their prices around xmas!

wotanuisanceABC123

Nuttynana : the waifs and strays brought back memories!My mum was the same and her church used to have a list of people who would have been on their own for Christmas. My mum always invited extra's for Christmas .So one year we had : a nun (who got very tipsy) and a teetotal Nigerian student who told us he was a prince!
In addition various dotty elderly relatives always stayed too. My brother sister and I always camped on the lounge floor over Christmas. Great fun and our family Christmases now although hectic seem quite tame !

My partner and I will be on our own this year. Well be going to our local for a couple of lunch time drinks then having a three course meal at an Indian restaurant. I'm really looking forward to not cooking a turkey!

We're in the Cotswolds for Christmas. Sheer luxury and pleasure! We're not doing Xmas again as it's getting too much what with all the shopping, preparation, angst, complete lack of help from any of the younger generation and getting grouchy about it!! We'll still celebrate but let someone else take the strain as there are lots of good eateries around us. Sorry for the rant - feel better now.

Not read through all the thread, but for those of you who will be alone Christmas day/boxing day etc why not propose some ones starts a thread on Christmas morning, doesn't matter who it is,just one thread,give it a title so that we all know where to come, for those that are mostly on their own all through the day (although hopefully you may have unexpected visitor/s) you could post picys! of you slurrrping wine sipping wine

I think it would give all of those, something to at least look forward to on the morning. You could stock up with supplies, most important and use GNet as a meeting place I mean as your typing, you are actually typing to a real person! (I think) although come late afternoon some may be talking jibberish after too much .

not sure what my plans are yet, will take it day by day...

OH and I will be on our own on Christmas day as we have been since the DSs got married. They both live about 90 mins drive away but we don't see them as they seem to like to spend the day with their in laws. At first we were hurt but over the years we've seen the benefits. They skype or FaceTime so we do hear from them and see the GCs albeit at a distance. We either have an indulgent Christmas lunch at home or go out with friends. Which we'll be doing this year. This is since we had an almighty bust up one Christmas six years ago. So on reflection, I feel for the in laws who have them all week and weekends and holidays as well. We'll see them the previous w/e for panto and 'together' time. So I hate those Christmas ads where everyone's a happy family on Christmas Day. Not everyone's family works like that. We all have to find our own way that suits us.

That was actually proposed by the OP, bikergran - the GN sleigh - and some of the earlier posters are already on board, so to speak.

ok miss read the or didnt read all the post...so is that going to be the title ..*the GN sleigh* will look out for it if I'm about

Many years ago when the Grandchildren were small I did all the cooking and entertaining. Then my husband and I spent the next ten years in Spain where we got away from it all at Christmas by taking a picnic into the countryside. After he died I went either on Saga Xmas holidays to Spain or Portugal or coach holidays to Germany. Now being unable to travel I am happy to spend Christmas Day alone seeing the family including great grandchildren who all live in the West Country, on FaceTime . DiL does all the hard work. Son and DiL come up to see me the day after Boxing Day.