Now, looking back, I am not sure if my husband was depressed. But I do know that trying to have a conversation about it was impossible. He would become defensive and angry, intimating that I was imagining it and just trying to start an argument. He was very stubborn, and would not allow me to make any suggestions on his clothes or appearance.
He had never been one to see the importance of a daily bath (we had no shower in those days), saying that it was not good for the skin. But he did wash, use deodorant etc when younger. He certainly didn’t smell in those days, as he did in later years. Perhaps bodies do smell more in age?
I suppose I was a little intimidated by him. I did try so hard to talk about our problems, and my feelings. Feelings were something he certainly did not want to discuss, and as for counselling well he had no need to speak to any do goody mumbo jumbo types. Eventually I found life easier to just give up, shut up and put up.
As I said in my previous post it has taken years to feel fondly about him again, and not to blame him for our final years together. I know that the younger him would have also felt so sad that they ended as they did.
My thoughts and wishes are with all of you who are in this situation now. I hope the new Year will bring some relief for you all.