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Phone accident.

(89 Posts)
rubylady Wed 17-Feb-16 21:01:31

My son was walking home last week when he tripped up and fell, breaking his smart phone (not an iphone but it did cost him £250). He was most upset, as would anyone, but he has been insistant that I claim on my house insurance to get him another one.

He had nearly £3,000 last year, in a compensation claim, when he turned 18 years old. He spent it quite recklessly, hence the phone and multiple electric guitars, spending on friends etc. I got a free 9" garlic bread - for my birthday. Nothing else, not even a bunch of flowers. Not that I care really, he can do whatever with it, but he does have to learn to provide for his own future. He could have got his own phone insurance and been sure to have been covered for £1.50 a month. Did he think about it? Not on your nelly!

He got really mad the other night because I wouldn't entertain putting a claim in for his phone, he said I have never claimed on it (true) and isn't that what it is there for? I said no, it is there for big items, or in the event of losing it all, say in a burgarly etc. I said that you have to balance claiming with paying the excess and the increase in premiums it will bring against the cost of the item being claimed. Plus, I told him it should still be under guarantee anyway. Of course, he can't find the box it came in with the appropriate documentation. He has applied to the company and sent pictures (which he used my camera for) and is awaiting a reply.

But, along with getting mad at me, because I wouldn't wave my magic wand and make it all better, he told me he wished I was dead, bashed in the living room door and was generally like a 2 year old having a paddy.

Am I unreasonable not to claim for his phone when he can be so aggressive towards me and verbally abusive and he won't take responsibility for himself or his belongings after getting a lump sum but not covering the phone himself?

whitewave Wed 17-Feb-16 21:15:08

He obviously has some growing up to do, and as you are the parent you will have to stand firm I think. I certainly wouldn't tolerate the abuse, and would make my displeasure crystal clear.

NanaandGrampy Wed 17-Feb-16 21:19:40

Your son is 18 years old. An adult. His behaviour is beyond acceptable. No, you shouldn't claim for him.

I firmly believe that children don't learn unless there are consequences for their actions and if you bail him out he will have learnt nothing.

I'd wait for a calm moment , explain to him that you won't be doing it and furthermore a repeat of his violence will mean he will not only need a new phone but a new place to live.

If you don't pull him up , he'll only pull the same stunt again or worse. I don't think you're unreasonable at all.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 21:30:36

I think you should claim it off the house insurance.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 21:32:20

That's if you are paying for accidental damage of course.

felice Wed 17-Feb-16 21:56:57

Claim on the house insurance, buy him a cheap pre-paid and use the rest for repairs and to treat yourself.
Tell him when he pays the house insurance he can make future claims upon it.

merlotgran Wed 17-Feb-16 22:00:45

What is the excess though?

Sometimes a small claim isn't worth it.

Ana Wed 17-Feb-16 22:00:50

That won't work, felice. He seems to have a sense of entitlement and thinks his mum should pay for everything. He certainly wouldn't accept a cheap replacement and would probably expect an upgrade!

Willow500 Wed 17-Feb-16 22:09:31

I wouldn't claim on the house insurance as it will probably a) put the premiums up and b) by the time you've paid the excess there won't be that much left to put towards a phone. It's unacceptable for him to behave this way and really nothing to do with the fact that he should have insured it himself. To speak to you like that is unforgiveable and if you give in what's going to happen the next time something kicks off which annoys him? Once he's calmed down explain why you're so upset and tell him he'll have to find a cheap alternative for the time being until he can afford to get a new one - there are second hand models out there at reasonable prices.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 22:20:21

Well, it depends on how much the excess is. Probably £50 or £100. Still worth a claim. One small claim wouldn't put the premium up. Have a bit of pity on the boy! (And that's what he is. A boy. No way an adult)

Ana Wed 17-Feb-16 22:22:24

jingl he's nearly 19! And he treats his mum like dirt...hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 22:28:16

Yes. Exactly. He is eighteen. He is in turmoil. Has he had a stable background over the last eighteen years? Who knows. Just give him the love and support he desperately needs.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 22:29:20

You can't wash your hands of your kid after nineteen years! hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 22:30:07

Where is his father?

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 22:30:47

Sorry to be blunt, but Rubylady has put it all out there.

Charleygirl Wed 17-Feb-16 22:38:47

You should not claim on your house insurance because the insurance will go up next year, even for small claims and no other company will entertain insuring you for 5 years. That is what happened to me.

He behaved like a spoiled brat and has to learn to grow up. I would leave him to it, he has to learn the hard way.

merlotgran Wed 17-Feb-16 22:38:49

Did he really trip and fall though?

I suspect a desired upgrade could be behind it all.

Lona Wed 17-Feb-16 22:39:20

Giving him love and support is one thing, but giving in to his demands is quite another. This isn't the first time he's kicked off. He'll never learn how to behave if he just gets his own way all the time and never has to consider other people's feelings.

NanaandGrampy Wed 17-Feb-16 22:41:20

He very much is an adult Jingl

He can fight in a war zone, vote, get married.

But quite frankly that behaviour should not be tolerated from anybody. That doesn't mean the OP should stop loving him but sometimes a little tough love is necessary. Otherwise what next --- no milk for his cereal so he hits her??

WilmaKnickersfit Wed 17-Feb-16 22:50:59

I don't think I'd put in a claim for £250. I'd be worried about what a claim would do to my premiums, unless you've got some kind of no claims protection and even then I read the small print carefully.

If you feel like helping him out, buy a 2nd hand phone from eBay until he can afford to buy the phone he wants. Or check out some of the big store outlets like Argos and Tesco on eBay where they sell their returns and refurbished products. Both our smart phones and my two tablets have been from there and they all look brand new. They also come with guarantees and I did have a problem with my first tablet that was dealt with very quickly, so there's no risk involved. If money is a problem for you, maybe you could offer to pay half.

He's learning a hard lesson, but you are close so you know you can cope with this once he's calmed down rubylady. wink

Eloethan Wed 17-Feb-16 22:51:35

rubylady I had to specifically list my mobile phone, otherwise it wouldn't be covered. I don't know if it's the same with all insurances.

If you can claim on your insurance, I don't know why you wouldn't. Perhaps he has been a bit irresponsible with money in the past but that's probably fairly typical of a lot of young people.

Of course, he shouldn't break doors or say horrible things to you but perhaps he felt hurt that you wouldn't even attempt to make a claim. I wouldn't think a relatively small claim in a history of non-claiming would make a great deal of difference to the price when you come to renew your insurance. If you were in the habit of making claims it would be different.

Deedaa Wed 17-Feb-16 22:51:36

Just asked DH for the male point of view and he agrees - definitely don't claim yourself. Is he a student or working? Does he contribute to the household? No doubt he considers himself to be grown up now is the time to behave like an adult. Perhaps you could sit down with him and help him work out how he can finance a replacement himself.

mumofmadboys Wed 17-Feb-16 22:59:30

Have you got insurance for items when they are away from home? It might be that it is not covered and then the decision would be taken out of your hands.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 17-Feb-16 23:13:09

Some young people need parenting for longer than others. It depends on a lot of things.

I would never allow a thing like a small insurance claim to cause the upset this has obviously caused.

Jalima Wed 17-Feb-16 23:30:53

That reaction is simply not acceptable.
Perhaps, if he was my son, and had come to me and asked, not insisted, that I claim on the house insurance, I may have considered it. DD had to claim £300 for something which was stolen when she was about the same age, she was overseas and had travel insurance but the travel and household insurance companies paid up half each (don't ask me why).
We didn't lose our no claims discount.