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being annoyed at people wearing black to a wedding?

(100 Posts)
minimo Wed 01-Jun-16 17:03:36

I went to a friend's daughter's wedding this weekend. A large number of the younger folk were in black which I thought a bit odd. Occasionally there was the odd bright handbag or scarf but even so I thought it looked wrong. I've also thought it's a 'no black, no white' tradition if you're a guest at a wedding. Do these rules no longer apply? Can't we leave the black for funerals?

Ana Wed 01-Jun-16 17:08:19

Perhaps they were Goths. Can't see the problem myself, and I've never heard of the 'no black' tradition at weddings. So yes, I think YABU.

Charleygirl Wed 01-Jun-16 17:11:14

I agree, I also find that very strange. I do not consider that it is dressing appropriately wearing black when at a wedding. The only items of black I would be wearing would be my shoes and handbag. Maybe trousers but the top and jacket would be colourful.

J52 Wed 01-Jun-16 17:12:53

In some cultures White is worn at funerals. Recently I have seen wedding photos where the bridesmaids wore black.
DS and DIL recently went to a wedding where the dress code was black and white. So I guess it's up to personal preferences.


millymouge Wed 01-Jun-16 17:14:19

I saw a wedding recently where all 6 bridesmaids were in black dresses. And the bride had black trimmings on her dress. Personally not my kind of thing, but to each his own!!

Marmight Wed 01-Jun-16 17:23:08

DD3 had 3 bridesmaids all in different style dresses but all black worn with a cream shrug. Very stylish. These days you can wear what you want and what you feel good in. I wore silvery grey trousers and kimono jacket to the wedding and felt great and relaxed. Mother of the bride outfits with matching everything , circa 1960, was not for me!!

Jane10 Wed 01-Jun-16 17:27:19

I went to a wedding where the bridesmaids wore black dresses and looked like a trio of crows! The groom and ushers with their black ties looked extremely funereal. I suspect that the bride thought it would be chic but it really seemed to have the opposite effect. Very gloomy!

harrigran Wed 01-Jun-16 18:09:35

The last wedding I was at I wore a black suit with a cream blouse, it was February and very cold. I think you should be able to wear exactly want you want.

annodomini Wed 01-Jun-16 18:10:25

'Annoyed'? Why? It's not up to the OP or anyone else to feel annoyed at what anyone chooses to wear to a wedding - or to a funeral for that matter. What the youngsters who organise their weddings around such a colour scheme don't need is a lot of oldies 'tut, tutting' behind their hands because they feel that some unwritten 'rule' has been broken.
I intend to leave instructions that nobody should feel obliged to wear black at my funeral, though I hope that won't happen for a few years yet.

annodomini Wed 01-Jun-16 18:14:03

For elegance in black and white, see Cecil Beaton's designs in the Ascot scene in My Fair Lady

thatbags Wed 01-Jun-16 18:18:00

I thought the only rule for wedding guests was to look smart, tidy, and cheerful. I can't remember what anyone wore at my last wedding and nobody took any photographs. It was a lovely day and we all (all six of us: DH, me, two DDs, and two friends) went punting on the Cherwell. Had a fab time.

phoenix Wed 01-Jun-16 18:43:41

How many weddings have you had,*bags*? grin

Anya Wed 01-Jun-16 18:53:32

Yes, OP you are being unreasonable.

suzied Wed 01-Jun-16 19:20:17

My friend is wearing black to her daughters wedding and her outfit looks stunning, she has a Phillip Treachy (?) hat which is amazing. She has silver grey hair which compliments her outfit.

rosesarered Wed 01-Jun-16 20:20:15

I think you may wear whatever you like to a wedding, a little black dress with a pale wrap would look great.On the other hand, wearing solid black would look a bit odd at a wedding.

Nannapat1 Wed 01-Jun-16 20:33:07

I wouldn't personally wear plain black or white to a wedding: white might be seen as competing with the bride. On the other hand, these days anything goes, so unless the bride and groom have stated otherwise, I guess you can wear what you please.

thatbags Wed 01-Jun-16 20:37:15

Two, phoenix. At ages twenty-one and forty-two, so the next one's due in three years when I'm sixty-three wink.

Leticia Wed 01-Jun-16 20:52:49

I wouldn't choose to wear black but I can't see why not.

Alea Wed 01-Jun-16 21:30:06

Oh for goodness sake! Is it any of your or my business what colour people choose to wear?
Lots of people ask for friends and family to wear colours to funerals anyway, is it really worth discussing ?

FarNorth Wed 01-Jun-16 21:35:36

I think it looks gloomy to see several people together dressed in black. Many people choose to wear it, tho, as they feel it looks smart.

fiorentina51 Wed 01-Jun-16 21:40:06

I wore a black coat dress to my brother's second wedding. Very apt as the marriage lasted 18 months.

numberplease Wed 01-Jun-16 21:56:14

I once saw a wedding where the bride wore black, but it was a proper wedding dress, loads of lace and frills, but black, and it looked gorgeous. In complete contrast, the bridesmaids wore red.

Anniebach Wed 01-Jun-16 22:06:42

Not black or white for a wedding guest

Anniebach Wed 01-Jun-16 22:08:13

Must be worth discussing Alea, else you wouldn't have joined in

Alea Wed 01-Jun-16 22:12:51