For those of you who may be interested, I thought I would update. The wedding in question was last weekend. On Monday i emailed the mother of the bride, whom I get on well with and asked her outright if we had put our foot wrong in some way, as everyone in the family of every generation was invited and it was held at my eldest BIL's house, so neither a financial nor a space problem (he has a huge georgian house with land - they used to do weddings as a business)
My answer came yesterday in the form of a phone call from my MIL who thought I was entitled to know how it stood. Apparently my husband, who has had arguments with his brothers in the past would be likely to spoil family events so will not be invited to any because his nieces and nephews dont like him (where they get their opinions is their fathers, of course)
So that is it. We have decided we will stay in touch with his parents for our daughter's sake, as she loves her grandparents (who did invite us to their diamond wedding, of which i was reminded. I wonder if she wanted a medal or something, from the way she put it)
Yes, it is relieving to know exactly what is up, but my husband, who very much wants to be part of his family, is distraught. I am very worried about him
Right now I would love to see them all rot in hell, I am not a vengeful person, but god i am angry!!