What he has done, as far as I can see, is be opinionated (much like his siblings) have a hot temper (much like his brothers) and not have been hugely successful (unlike his brothers), both of whom were helped by family (unlike my husband) to get good jobs or, as with his eldest brother, inherit the family house and land.
He has always been treated as if he were stupid, which he is not. His mother and father have always made it clear that his siblings were so marvellous and been quick to point out his failings (apparently the others have none)
He said sadly to me that his cousin, who as a young man was a drug addict and in serious trouble with the police, was given multiple chances to redeem himself, which he did and went on to do very well for himself. He commented that maybe he should have got into drugs, not just been a rebel as a boy. Maybe then they would have helped him.
Oh, my MIL is very good at "staying out of it" She has never stood up for DH even when he had done nothing more than state an opinion (a factually right one, too) the most she has ever done is congratulate him for not picking an argument on one occasion, when he pointed out a scientific fact and was shot down by his brothers.
I just wish he could just get on with life and ignore them. They are a nasty bunch and toxic to my little family. Unfortunately he cant. He wants to belong, he wants to have a relationship with this family who are all very happy without him. So sad, and so angry for him
Oughtn't she be facilitating some sort of reconciliation between all of her children? What has your Dh done that's so terrible, in their eyes?