Giving things away

when I decided to replace my kitchen i offered the contents including top-quality range cooker, undercounter fridge, dishwasher etc to a local charity providing goods for refugees. The organiser was very pleasant but turned my offer down. The refugees would not consider it as they knew they could demand new.. ( from manufacturers/ charitable bodies?? I have no idea)

Re bedding - animal sanctuaries ask for it!

My problem is old flower pots, all sizes......

I was looking for a dressmaker's dummy and posted a wanted ad on Freecycle thinking that it may be something that someone had in the loft and never used. I had only previously given items away, so this was the first time I was looking for an item for myself. I was delighted to receive a message that there was one available, 'in very good condition', but it was approx 25 - 30 miles away from where I live. I decided that it was worth the journey and as a 'thank you' made a lovely coffee & walnut cake with buttercream filling & topping to give when I arrived in exchange for the dummy. I handed over my cake in a cake tin as soon as the man opened the door but when he brought it out I was the one who felt like a dummy! It turned out to be very old and something that should have been sent to the rubbish tip. It was very dirty & mouldy with the covering peeling off, but I still showed my appreciation. I think that will probably be my last Freecycle 'find'.

I've advertised things on Freecycle several times. nearly always things almost new and in as-new condition. Most of the times there was no response, and when there was, about half of the people either never came or arranged a collection time then turned up days later. My daughter has had the same experience. I don't bother trying anymore and my daughter gets much better response from Facebook local. It's all rather depressing!

When my son, daughter in law and grandson recently moved house, they wanted to get rid of a lot of stuff that my grandson had grown out of, such a a moses basket, baby toys, etc, all in excellent condition. They were going to take them to the tip, but I suggested putting them outside their house with a notice on them, "Please take me!". They were all gone by the end of the day!

My husband died 15th June from cancer, I have not done anything BUT maybe I should. Have been told not worry that I will know ? Is that true ?
Would really like any help, thank you

Hello Jeltel, you poor soul, you must be bereft. There are many kind and wise people here on Gransnet who will be better able to advise you. I just wanted to offer my sympathy and Others will be along soon with kind words and the encouragement you need.

Thank you Blinko, would like some more opinions as it is good to read as it does help !

I feel very sad for you jeltel. I don't know how I would cope in your situation.

Can I suggest that you start a thread repeating your post or try looking and posting on an appropriate bereavement thread. People with the knowledge and experience to help will not necessarily look at this thread.

jeltel Do what you are ready to do and don't let anyone else rush you.

I found that at first I didn't want to lose anything which he had worn, or used, it was all so full of memories and it felt as though I would be dismissing him from my life.

Then a bit later I went through his clothes, throwing out what had no connotations for me. I gave away some good suits and a good overcoat to family members who were the same size and shape. That thinned it down.

When an appeal went out recently for men's clothes for refugees, I went through them again and kept back only a few things that I particularly liked to see him in. I found a stash of new underwear that had been bought just as he fell ill and was completely unused, that went to the refugees too. I felt that there was a specific need for these things, and I wasn't just sending them to a charity shop to be picked over.

At the moment (more than four years after his death) I am going through everything in his DIY workshop (the other thing which defines him to me). Some tools have already gone to family, but there are others. I can use some myself, but there are things like a heavy-duty drill and an angle-cutter which I never even liked to know that he was using, so I am not likely to be using those, plus there are enough nails, screws, and so on to equip a carpenter's shop.

If things are worth someone handing over money for, you could put them on Ebay, or join your local Gumtree and put them on there, with a reasonable price. Freecycle is another site where you can list things to give away. Specify "buyer collects" then you won't have to post them.

jeltel, do it in your own time when you are ready, when my husband died I started clearing out his stuff within a month of his passing, I got all his stuff together ( I kept what I wanted) and asked the kids to take what they wanted. All the rest went to the local hospice charity shop. Yet a friend of mine hasnt touched her husbands things and he died 7 years ago.
Theres no time limit, you will know when you are ready to go through his things.

In our area there is a local forum on Facebook which also has a section for advertising free things (as well as people posting who need things). Usually quite reliable. It is local to our town though so people tend to know who people are. Might be worth checking if your area has same if you do Facebook.
It's also useful if you lose or find pets as often someone knows someone who has found a dog/cat and is looking for the owner.

I've a few things to get rid of and was going to freecycle them but will now ebay them instead. Thanks.

I have left a settee outside for a while, thinking someone might take it, but no one has so I'll have to phone the council over that one.

Lots of charity shops will take it , the one I work in always has loads of baby stuff including mattresses . I agree about some peoples attitude regarding free stuff though , it is as if they are doing you a favour taking it off your hands .

I have put a lot of things on free or very cheap local sites The ' can you deliver' is fairly normal to me now although most live within a three mile radius some literally a mile away they are young people mostly I have arranged to meet in town with smaller things ( I don't have a car) and then they don't turn up The young stay at home mums don't seem to want to walk even a few roads to pick up its always ' ok Hun I ll leave it '
This obviously is only an observation and not a judgement on all young mums