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AIBU to think the only person who should open mail is the person it's addressed to

(61 Posts)
nickynacky Tue 06-Sep-16 16:28:48

I just saw something on social media where someone was saying they were happy for their partner to open their mail and wondered if it was just me who was surprised by this? Of course if I have ordered, say, something for the house and it arrives, and it's obvious what it is then fine. But other post? No! Apart from the fact I like the act of opening it (unless it's a bill), I feel what is sent to me is sent to ME. Don't get me wrong - I have a happy and trusting relationship with my partner and I have nothing to hide. But my mail is my mail (luckily he feels the same)

moobox Wed 07-Sep-16 16:21:55

When I married him I had to dig him out of a cesspit of unopened mail. He wouldn't open his mail if I was out.

Legs55 Wed 07-Sep-16 17:16:07

I used to open mail when my DH was alive as I dealt with all the bills etc, only Birthday Cards were left to open on the day (although he always wanted to open cards when they arrived so I had to take them off him!!!!). I was only one to use e-mail so no problem - he was a complete technophobe grin

When we met & for many years after we married he would never go into my handbag, always bringing it to me even if I said get what you want (usually cash)

I didn't think it was my right to open DH's mail but he hated dealing with paperwork, always passed anything over to him if I needed him to read & let me know what to do with it smile

GrandmaMoira Wed 07-Sep-16 19:21:27

My first husband used to go through my handbag. Though I had nothing to hide, I hated him doing it, it felt an invasion of privacy. Before I was widowed, I would expect to open any personal post myself and with both husbands they left me to sort out bills anyway.

Newquay Wed 07-Sep-16 20:19:52

We receive very little personal mail these days but DH always says he doesn't mind if I open anything addressed to him (usually bills or something official which I deal with in any event). He doesn't open my post although I always tell him to.
We do put birthday cards to one side to be opened on the day though.
We have a joint email address. I'm the one who has friends. I'll often ask if he's seen an email from so and so-no he never has. . . .
My diary always seems to be the family property as I'm the one who notes everything down. Even dear SIL looked into it once (after asking if he could!) to check his Police shift! Honestly-I used to say I could never have a secret lover that's for sure!

ElroodFan Wed 07-Sep-16 21:10:29

I have to say I open my husbands mail. If I didn't we be swamped with catalogues, junk mail envelopes etc as he throws nothing away. I had to start doing it for my own sanity.

MadMaisie Wed 07-Sep-16 21:15:41

Touch my handbag or open my mail at your peril!

Deedaa Wed 07-Sep-16 21:49:10

DH and I wer both brought up never to open other people's mail. He also flatly refuses to get anything out of my hand bag - even when I want him to confused

DaphneBroon Thu 08-Sep-16 09:19:26

Someone may have said this before but this is of course why "etiquette" used to dictate that invitations etc to a couple were addressed to "the lady of the house" so that she could open them, presumably in her morning room.
Hyacinth, take note.

NonnaW Thu 08-Sep-16 12:05:33

DH always says 'open it' if something is addressed to him. He doesn't open mine, though I'd have no problem with it. He would never go into my handbag - too afraid of what might bite him! (I have to muck it out occasionally as it gets too messy even for me blush!

Leticia Sat 17-Sep-16 07:17:56

I would never open anyone's post and have never had anyone open mine.
The only exception being if I am away from home and am waiting for something then I might ask DH to open a specific letter and phone me.
I didn't open the children's post either when they were young.