Constructive criticism?

I am one who can walk away from contentious posts. However if if someone has actually asked the AIBU question there is no point in not saying how you feel about the situation.

It is possible to say you think the OP is being unreasonable and why. This can be done politely but if you as the OP you really do not like someone disagreeing with you don't even ask.

What POGS and also NellyMoser says.
Saying what we think on AIBU threads and news/politics threads is fine, but on all other threads, especially if the OP seems to have real problems, a kinder and helpful response is needed.
Ruby I thought that ( from all I have read) posters have been kind in their response to you.

Having said all of the above, which I agree is true at times I have also been touched reading a lot of threads how supportive GNers are offering kind words and lots of good advice,

I agree with thatbags about apologies. Forced ones always embarrass me because actually the only person who can apologise is the person who did it.

If we are never to contradict views on Gn then some of us must leave! It is an online Forum and I am sure that those who contradict or criicise are the ones who do so in real life as well. I like people like that!

I do not like people who contradict and criticise, it is tiresome and somtimes bullying behaviour. I like,the OP like constuctive critisism, and if people disagree with me they can do it politely or they can do one.

I have written a innocent post on here before and was torn to shreds by some posters, but I'm the other hand I was touched by the support I got from other Gransnetter, and the private messages I recieved. I also think that if I write on a public forum I must expect that others will disagree with me, it is the way that some aggresive posters write that causes offence

if people disagree, they can do it politely or they can do one.

Can I politely suggest that this is typical of the kind of comment that is contradictory in itself. It's a good illustration of how forums work though.

It takes all sorts.

if people disagree with me they can continue it politely or they can do one

I am afraid I don't understand

I can't stand these bloody awful kind of threads! Brings out the paranoia in me.

If you've got something to say, stuffing well say it on the thread, not this silent criticism kind of thing.

Sorry rubylady.

Not contradictory at all, disagree with me and do it courtesly, and I will listen and respect your point of view, even if I do not agree with what is being said, however people who are aggresive or rude, I will not listen, as to me they only see things from their point of view and are not willing to listen to others. So they can argue with themselves as I am not interested.

I've never told anyone to do one.

Perhaps no point posting on here at all if we are all such slf's. (See acronyms thread)

Dlf

Neither have I Pollengran, I said they can do one, in other words I am not going to listen to aggresive, rude people, who have no respect for others opinions. I have told people who disagree me, and become shouty or angry, we will have to agree to disagree or I will walk away. I do not see why people cannot discuss things politely.

As for Gransnet I love the threads, and I like a debate,but some posters just get too nasty.

I didn't say you did pollengran but you quoted rafichagran (17.58/18.26) and I still don't understand the turn of phrase

No. Do what?

What brought this on anyway? Somebody been less than constructive with you rubylady? If so, "spit it out"!

I haven't been on gransnet for long and only contribute when I feel my opinion might make a difference, although I do enjoy reading the posts and most of the replies. I do understand that everyone can have a different point of view and that is a wonderful thing. If we ask for advice, surely a range of opinions is a good thing. However, I am sometimes surprised at the nastiness which is shown in some responses. I do appreciate that someone might find the post a waste of time but if it matters enough for someone to actually post it in the first place, then I think it either deserves a polite response and if that isn't possible perhaps just refrain from saying anything at all

Is this morphing into a thread about a thread?
Doesn't seem to be doing more than stating a truism and (by default) inviting contrary opinions.

But DB if Rubylady says anything explicit it will become a thread about a thread, and get deleted. Once "they" spot it.

Crossed posts there

I know you didn't Daphne. We both got the quote slightly wrong, but we meant the same thing.

I would also like to know why Rubylady felt upset enough to say so, without saying why.

As Jings said, everyone starts to question what they post without knowing why .(I put the smile in to be polite).

Neither have I Pollengran, I said they can do one

Sorry to bang on about it rafichagran, but I am -still-- no wiser!
"do one " what?

Do a flounce?

Long run off a short pier?

Anyone?

I'm surprised so many of you have never come across the phrase 'to do one' before. I suppose it could be politely translated as 'do a disappearing act'!

It's when a poster attacks or criticises another poster personally that the nastiness comes in.
IMO people should be able to accept, but still disagree with, a different opinion to their own without becoming upset. And sometimes even change their opinion after listening to the other side.