To sack the cleaner?

Sorry to post again so soon, but your post does worry me. You sound frightened, and I don't like the references you make to her ordering you about and taking photos of your home. If you are worried about telling her to go, could you get a friend, neighbour or relative to be with you when you do it?

My neighbour used a cleaning firm who used to send two cleaners once a week; she herself was out at work. However, she found that they just were not doing what was required, goodness knows what they were doing and I don't think they were there for the whole time she was paying them either.
She now has a lady who comes regularly, I assume is trustworthy, and does exactly what is required.

If you are disabled it must make you feel more vulnerable and I think you've done the right thing ruby.
Good luck!

Nobody should be taking photos and telling you what to do in your house. I think she may be bipolar.

I have my cleaner for 4 hrs every 2 weeks as I find having someone in stressful. If a room is untidy i put a tray on a piece of furniture and ask her to put anything on it which she thinks is out of place. Then I can take the tray full of items and tidy up after she has gone.

You have advice on this thread and the CAB guidance site will give you advice. You can dismiss her and move on.

ruby ignore some of the posts re training etc

You are the employer employing someone to do a job that you require doing. The employer usually tells the employee what is required of them, trains them in the way they want the job done and pays them accordingly. The employee does what is required, could perhaps suggest ways of doing things more efficiently or offering to help but generally does what is required.

PLEASE SEE rubylady's post of 19.37 yesterday!!!

She has dismissed the cleaner and asked her to delete the photo from her phone. The cleaner has said she will do, and there has been no trouble.

Ever heard of the phrase 'He (she) who pays the piper' Nanna58? No, thought not. And as for the phrase ' to the manner born' WTF did that come into the discussion??
.

I wonder if your cleaner has mental health problems her behaviour sounds erratic and bizarre! Possibly Bi-polar? Either way you don't have to have this type of behaviour in your home from someone you have employed to do work for you!
I had a couple of cleaners when my girls were still at home and I was out all day.one,Nina, was with me for 5 years and was thorough and efficient. I could leave her a list of chores I needed doing and she would do them quickly and efficiently. this included in 3 hours,hoovering all rooms (4 bedrooms two reception) cleaning the cooker and hob and sink and work tops, washing kitchen floor, dusting, cleaning bathroom and doing a mountain of ironing! I only lost her when she went off to have her first baby! My second Debbie was awful and lasted 2 weeks! She was always out on the patio smoking and didn't do half the jobs I asked her to do! In the end I employed one of my daughters college friends who wanted some extra money and split the ironing between the kids for extra allowance! Good luck with this but stand firm it's your home and you should be treated with respect! Just tell her it's not working out as you seem to have different expectations of her job

Sorry, Ana, I Missed rubylady's last post somehow, though I did look. Glad all is now well. I'm sure she did the right thing. I knew someone whose agency carer stole from her, so I know you can't be too careful, even in your own home.

At one stage in my life I did some cleaning for others which was on a self employed basis. I did it properly, that is I had the Public Liability insurance etc. I can honestly say that I did not consider my clients to be " to the Manor Born", in fact most of them worked very hard, in some instances trying to run a business and doing other jobs at the same time. I treated them with respect, as they did me. We are all Human beings, all working, and in my opinion, all equal.
I had a few elderly clients who were always home when I cleaned for them, and I was very aware of the fact that they only had me because they could no longer manage. I can see that this is not easy for them, and always made a point of discussing with them if they likes something doing in a particular way, or if they needed anything heavy shifting for them whilst I was there.

The rest of my clients I hardly saw as they were working, and I just had a key. We left each other notes. I kept their Dogs/Cats company, as they did me , and was quite happy to let the dogs out for a wee before I left.

Respect is the key word here, on both sides. I am not an Angel by any means but I can tell you that several of my clients actually cried when I said I was retiring .

I've had four very good cleaners over fifty years here. One had to be restrained fom using wire wool liberally and was discreet although once she did ask me why I had a skeleton and a hunting gun under our bed. One I had was trained by a neighbour and I do meant rained. The neighbour had been head housekeeper in a top London hotel and she showed the young girl how things should be done. The young girl grew older and was in high demand for her quality cleaning and we young mums all deferred to her superior knowledge. Her friend took over when she went on to other things and the recommendation was that this new lady did a lovely kitchen and bathroom . And she does. She also adores any new gadget and whereas I prefer mop and bucket she prefers an electric steamer. She has got very excited about the Window vacuum I have just bought. I feel I have a kindred spirit.

Form= from.
Rained = trained

Stansgran I know exactly what you mean about finding a kindred spirit and have had at least three helping me in my time and they are still my friends now that they have retired.

As you say, it is about mutual respect Shanma and it really is not easy trying to explain what you need to have done and very exhausting if you have little energy.

I have a very much younger lady helping with the cleaning at the moment and she actually says she needs me to tell her how to do certain things and we have great fun and laugh a lot. She knows she forgets and she knows I find this very tiring but we are getting there together - albeit slowly! It is also nice for me to have another little family to be interested in too.

I am so glad that you have got that sorted Ruby and hope that you can find someone who is a real blessing to you and very soon.

Simply tell her that you're sorry but its not working out, and this will be her final weeks employment.
She doesn't need to know more

sorry , hadn't realised she's been finished now. Good luck with your new cleaner x

Thank you all once again for your lovely posts and support.

I am "To Te Manor Born", I sit here and expect people to come in and peel grapes for me while wafting me with reed fans, mopping my brow at extremely regular intervals and warm my milk for my bath when I decide to take my Cleopatra bath.

Of course I'm not! Never have been! I'm a normal Northern gal who is unfortunate enough to have been born with heart conditions and as I have got older, they have got worse. Plus lots of other conditions too, making me disabled, and have most days when I can't even get out of the house, let alone do the housework now. Maybe the people who have posted on here to say that I should do my own has never suffered a days illness in their life, and if so, they are very lucky, but when you are born with a condition and have had over 50 years dealing with it, it takes it's toll on you. I am lucky to have achieved what I have with the body I was given, having my children, working, running a home/bringing up my children on my own for the last 15 years etc., but now I need a little help and I will not be either put down for that or feel guilty for it. I have worked hard all my life and now I need looking after a bit. From someone who is caring and kind. My plan for life in general, to surround myself with kindness, it costs nothing.

Nanna58 Your comments were particularly out of order, I hope that the above post makes it clear to you that we are not all jumping around and lively people on here, regardless of our age, I'm only 52 but disabled. I once worked for a lady who was 25 and in a wheelchair because of cerebral palsy, and had been since birth. Please think twice next time before posting as you never know what the OP is dealing with. Thank you.

BTW Nanna58 I am waiting for open heart valve replacement surgery. It will be my third open heart surgery.

Well said ruby!

ps re the wire wool Stansgran, DD had a new ceramic hob and when she was not very well her DGMIL went in and kindly scrubbed it for her with wire wool and scrubbed all the control instructions off it