Why on earth has this thread got to be so bad tempered? It must be jolly cold up there on some people's high horses.
I am with those who don't take offence where none is intended, a kindly word can be seen as just that. I know my own worth and do not find it demeaning if a man or another woman orders the wine (I hate Chardonnay so anyway would have chipped in and said, "a glass of Chenin Blanc//Merlot/ Irn Bru for me please " if I felt strongly enough about it and would not have, shock, horror, seen it as an instance of sexism, just misplaced ego.) And to remember it years later
But how satisfying to have something at which to take offence, isn't it?
I don't think for a minute Anya was being devaluing or undermining just because she holds a different opinion. Live and let live, autrement dit, "choose your battles".
I am reminded of a colleague of whom it was said "She cannot see a teacup without creating a storm"
Peace and love!