Gransnet forums


Kids having kids & unproteced sex

(158 Posts)
norose4 Sat 20-May-17 16:57:13

With more knowledge & access to birth control, what do Gransnetters think of the increasing numbers of young girls getting pregnant & not knowing which man (boy)may be the father & are often the result of one night stands & who then go on to repeat the process, sometimes again & again,has society let them down by somehow sending out the wrong message & woman's lib has somehow backfired?

Riverwalk Sat 20-May-17 18:01:56

Indeed no one is forcing me - in your OP you asked what Gransnetters think and I responded.

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:08:46

It all concerns me Trisher , but mostly I think that young girls seem to mimick the life styles of some very well off celebrities , & that the suffragettes & woman's lib fought for our rights etc.only for it to young woman still being used & abused by some young men who take what's on offer & run for the hills when a baby is on the way & sometimes these woman can't remember who they last slept with, without taking precautions

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:11:49

Yes I wrongly titled it kids having kids which was a mistake in hindsight,in my defence this is my first thread, which I should have worded better, but I mistakenly thought it was a friendly site, I was mistaken,

Iam64 Sat 20-May-17 18:18:57

Your OP could be read as judgemental and inaccurate, there aren't increasing numbers of young girls getting pregnant. Those of us who worked supporting you parents will confirm that it isn't common for girls/women not to know who the father of their unborn baby is. The girls/women I knew who fell into that category either had learning difficulties or were abusing drugs or alcohol. Many fell into all three categories and that added to their vulnerability to being sexually exploited.

I don't see how ' women's lib' contributed in any way to the concerns you express. It's more likely to be linked to poverty of aspiration, poor education, lack of good enough parenting .

mumofmadboys Sat 20-May-17 18:25:16

Don't be put off norose! Continue to post. Generally it Is a very friendly site but one needs to be prepared to discuss and see things from different angles. Welcome!

sunseeker Sat 20-May-17 18:26:52

I think I understand the point norose is trying to make. With programmes like Kyle and some media reports there can be an appearance of an increase in teen pregnancies, despite the statistics proving otherwise.

I do think she raises a valid point that some young women do not appear to be taking sufficient precautions to prevent pregnancy. Yes, I know it takes two but unfortunately the male often disappears and the girl is left literally holding the baby. Young people have always had sex, it is just they no longer hide the fact. I know sex education is taught in schools but perhaps the teachers among you can let me know whether it is also taught that sex is not mandatory, that just because a boy takes a girl out for a night she doesn't have to sleep with him. It appears sex has replaced the goodnight kiss!

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:30:50

Yes Iam64 I agree , if you have read my subsequent posts, you will read that I have said it was my first thread & I didn't properly think out how I worded it or what I was trying to say. My mistake , but I have since said that what really saddens me is that we still hear about youngish girls being deserted by young men when their is a baby on the way & that despite precautions being readily available we still have a lot of deserted pregnant girls we often don't know by their own admittance who the father is

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:32:49

Thank you mummyofmadboys, but I'm not sure it's worth it, get enough strife as it is but thans you have made me feel a bit better?

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:35:26

Yes Sunseeker that's exactly what I meant, you put it so well, I will consult you if ever I venture to start another thread ?

Elegran Sat 20-May-17 18:51:28

I don't think riverwalk can have read your subsequent posts, norose, where you quite clearly said that you had made mistakes in your OP. It took me only a few minutes to read the thread and to see that several people responded (politely) with statistics, to which you replied explaining what had triggered your observations.

In my humble opinion, continuing to hound you with "I don't know why you can't admit you were wrong in your assertions." was arrogant overkill.

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:57:54

Thank you Elegran, much appreciated, I admit I was not prepared for such verocity, a lesson in think before you speak or in this case post ?

trisher Sat 20-May-17 20:05:15

norose4 many of the suffragettes and women's libbers you speak of led lives that were considered outlandish and shocking by the standards of the time so perhaps they would not be quite so judgemental as you imagine about the sexual lives these young women lead. Mary Wolstencraft and her daughter might be considered as extreme examples.
Good sex education does teach girls about not giving in to pressure from anyone, men or other girls. It also teaches boys that consent must always be ensured and should never be assumed and a girl must be capable of giving such consent.
Unfortunately poverty and poor living conditions leave some girls with low expectations and a pregnancy is at least some sort of choice even if it is the wrong one.
What I think would concern the suffragettes far more about today's society is, that over 100 years after they campaigned against child poverty, and pressured Local Authorities to provide free meals for schoolchildren, as the 1906 act allowed them, we still have children going to school hungry.

Ana Sat 20-May-17 20:09:44

So social media, phone sex and celebrity worship has nothing to do with it - it's all down to children 'going to school hungry' is it? What rubbish!

Ana Sat 20-May-17 20:10:46

Anyway, free school breakfasts will solve the problem if you vote tory, won't it? smile

rosesarered Sat 20-May-17 20:16:32

Carry on posting norose most on GN are friendly ( some have no real social awareness though.)

Norah Sat 20-May-17 20:17:59

Breakfast would solve anything. grin

rosesarered Sat 20-May-17 20:19:16

As mentioned I think the worship of so called celebs and their chaotic lifestyles has an effect on some, and the taking away of any taboo on multiple pregnancies ( with multiple partners!) has also done it's bit.

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 20:20:20

Yes thank you ,Trisher,very good reminder of how far we have come , but how much more there is to be done. I think the thing that upsets me the most, is that girls are growing up not knowing their own worth, & that the behaviour of some women in general & those inthe public eye behave as if it's all about sex, sexiness , how we look etc etc obviously not all but enough to put out the wrong message

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 20:22:10

Thank you Rosearered, I won't give up but will have to put more thought into how I word things ?

sunseeker Sat 20-May-17 20:23:05

I think the suffragettes intended their fight to result in women having equal opportunities, standing and respect. Whilst I am sure they would not condemn the young women of today for their attitude to sex I think they would be disappointed to see how many of them are prepared to settle for so little.

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 20:24:09

And You have put across what I was trying to say Rosesarered, ?

trisher Sat 20-May-17 20:24:55

I didn't know you could get pregnant through phone sex Ana

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 20:27:06

Exactly Sunseeker, it seems so sad to me that we seem to have gone backwards & let our girls down, or maybe the sexes will always be this way with each other, but I hope not .

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 20:30:53

Well said Anna ?

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 20:31:27

SORRY I meant TRISHER ohhps