Problems which are not problems

Stansgran your post made me laugh!

Ann stay and be annoyed by trivia.
Yes please annsixty stay and have a rant now and then

It shows you're alive and kicking.
we already have one poster named that .....

There's another thread at the moment about not having any close friends to share things with. Maybe that is why some people like to just come on here and talk about something which may seem trivial to others, but they have nobody else to voice their thoughts to. I can't see anything wrong with that at all. I appreciate reading about other people's silly mistakes, or their painful big toe, or how they coped with a loved ones death. Surely this forum is here for all of us.

I am sometimes put off, especially in the "politics" threads, by some people's contributions, but I totally respect their right to contribute in the way that they wish.

I was also born before WW2 Tricia it is that which is making me realise time is running out for me and I can't do all the things I still want to. Sadly I feel resentful and that is an awful way to feel.
Guilt is my middle name.

mawbroon your post @11:21 - completely uncalled for!

annsixty

Awwwww come on Elegran that is a little unfair to Serkeen and not like you at all as you are always so balanced and fair. How can she be expected to have known what annsixty is going through?

This can't be just a forum of sadness and serious problems can it? Whilst we appreciate some of us have much more serious problems than others, I think the forums are a great place of support for one another and wonderful advice (and my goodness I have benefited from this) there does need to be a balance with a bit of triviality and a little giggle thrown in every now and again.

Before jumping in and having a go at Ann (albeit a minor go) a little thought about what might be going on in someone's life to make them feel like that might be a good idea.

Elegran was being fair in my opinion.

Ann - I do understand this. I look at others sharing their lives/retirement in a meaningful way and having fun, and sometimes I do feel resentful as this is virtually impossible with my OH's illness. Our lives are very curtailed.

Feeling resentful about it is only human, and that is all we are. I have star6ted seeing a counsellor and she has helped me to get it all in perspective and not to ever feel guilty when resentment creeps in round the edges.

Think what you might say to a friend who felt guilty about these emotions - I suspect you might be kinder to a friend than you are to your yourself!

Take care
xx

In which case I apologise to her unreservedly. I must've picked it up wrong. Thank you for pointing it out kittylester

I look at couples in their seventies and eighties and think "that should've been my mum and dad". Why after a hard working life did my mum have to become so ill and die at only 74? My mum and dad should've been enjoying their time together.

Life really isn't fair sometimes is it?

I've only read the OP so far and the two posts that immediately follow. In answer to the OP, there's a lot of stuff on GN that I think tedious and over the top. If I come across it and don't want it to affect me, I move on and read something else.

Frivolous and insignificant are very personal judgments. Something that feels frivolous to one person may be making quite an impact on someone else and, therefore, not feel insignificant to them at all.

Perhaps your own problems deplete your sympathy reserves, ann (not a criticism) or perhaps you just aren't a very empathic person (also not a criticism). Don't feel you need to stop posting on GN because of what you said. We're all different in the virtual world just as we are in the real world.

Also, some of us are simply more reserved than others. Not talking about troubles in our lives that really are significant and not frivolous doesn't mean we don't have troubles.

And then GN is used for light relief, as a kind of necessary escapism.

Is that you thatbags? I wondered if you were new but then.....

I am very slow on the uptake.

Yes, it's me. Hi, gillybob ?. I did explain why I have a new name. It's not important now. And Baggs is hardly a disguise

I am glad you are not mad at me, Gillybob. I appreciate that Serkeen can't be expected to know what annsixty is going through - in fact I was agreeing with her that we can only know what people tell us either in their posts or their profile. Thing is, Serkeen just assumed that Ann was only having one bad day and was critical of her asking if anyone else with real serious problems in their lives was pissed off by some with minor problems. The words "real serious problems" should have got through.

Oh dear, trust me... back end of the cow as usual.

No I guessed that if it was you, then you weren't exactly going incognito.

How could anyone ever be mad at you Elegran you are the most reasonable and fair person I have ever come across. That is why I was so surprised at your post. Apologies for misunderstanding what you were saying to Serskeen.

Still friends I hope?

I don't see anything erong with serkeen's posts. What's unreasonable in some (very few) of the posts that follow is to expect a poster to know anything else about the OP than is there on this thread. There are lots of reasons why they might not and even more why they would respond to what is in front of them in the thread in question and nothing else. We don't all know others' back stories. You have to judge a post in isolation when it's a new thread. Posters can't be expected to do research into posters' lives (from other threads) when they come across a thread like this one.

*wrong

Annsixty has apologised for her OP so this is not aimed at her.

As others have said, who knows what goes on in the lives of members. There must be many, myself included, who have serious issues going on, the sort that keep you awake at night, but choose not to give a running commentary on a public forum.

I'm all for serious discussions, plus fun and frivolity - and choose what to get involved in and respond to.

There are two members who usually post in an amusing manner (one we don't see too much of these days unfortunately) both have lost a young adult child to suicide; and there are at two others whose adult child has been murdered. Lots of members have problems - being resentful of other peoples lives isn't an attractive trait.

I think we should continue to post on whatever subject we fancy and in whatever manner.

No gilly life isn't fair. My mum died at 58, when I was 23 and my youngest sister was only 14. My mum had a terrible life. She always wanted a garden but never had one. Some days when I sit out in ours in the summer, I find myself wishing she was sitting with me having a cup of tea. She has been gone 45 years and I would still like to have her sitting with me. We all have troubles, some too awful to think about and I have had (and am still having) my fair share, but I like the mix of serious and frivolous posts on here. for anyone struggling.

I think the moral of this thread is that it takes all sorts!!

So long as you are not posting on a political thread that is!!

Yes, - apologies serkeen and grannyknot
Too much medical stuff going on in my life.
Take it back