To expect her to be on time!

I agree with people who say you should leave if she does not arrive. There is really no reason for her to change if there are no consequences and she obviously just doesn't get why it is a problem.
Personally, I wouldn't text as she needs to be inconvenienced herself to see why it is annoying. When she contacts you just say well I was there when we agreed and I waited a while. Where were you? Next time you meet, remind her that you are not going to wait if she is late.
We are all late occasionally but persistent lateness is the way she chooses to live.
It is very annoying but you have to act on your annoyance otherwise you are the only one negatively affected.

Attention seeking behaviour! People want to make an entrance. Give her a 10 min window and stick to it, you will be doing her a favour.

I find that people who do this are often selfish or vain. They like to make an entrance when everyone else is settled and ready for whatever it is they're going to do; they don't want to waste any of their own time waiting, or getting the event warmed up.

In a one-to-one situation, it's not kind or fair. Anyone can be late now and again, but repeated lateness should have consequences. Don't wait too long for her; set a time and then leave. That sounds to me like the only way to get the message through. Anything else (fibbing about the arranged time, or saying it doesn't matter) is enabling her unacceptable behaviour to continue.

How RUDE!! (It's got me in capitals too!) I would do as others have said; without a reasonable excuse via text then just go and do some shopping or have a coffee after ten minutes, and let her wait. You really don't want to fall out or get bitter with a good friend and if you don't express your annoyance quite clearly she might be surprised to know how angry it makes you. I read an interview once with a well know celebrity who seems rather 'precious' about herself and she said that she is always late for meetings because 'it saved her hours'. I wonder she has any friends - I shall end as I started - how RUDE!!

I hate lateness. My DF instilled in us as children 'a good soldier is always on parade 5 minutes early' and it has stuck with me. Unfortunately I did not manage to teach my DD, she's always late!

Only you, OP , will have a true sense of your friend's personality. I think it a bit much for others to wade in with criticisms of her and to attribute all sorts of negatives to her. You feel she has been rude, but that's not the same as 'vain', 'selfish', etc. And as others have pointed out, she may have a problem. I hope you are not persuaded to think worse of her than needs be.

Your post has reminded me of when I was working for a large Housing Association in residential work (properties in a very wide area of the country) and many of us staff from them all were sent on several three day training courses over a period of a few weeks to improve our knowledge of ourselves and other people, so we could gain insight and ability on our work performance and hopefully learn something useful. One of the tests was how you saw yourself :ie: are you a starter...are you a plodder...are you a last minuter. The starters were generally the ones with good ideas but could never follow them through to the end...the plodders were consistent until the job was finished ....the last minuters literally left everything to the last minute as quite laid back but persevered until the work was done. I fell into the last category and although I would not let a friend down by being late for an appointment, there is usually a mad flurry were deadlines are concerned and always has been. One of the plusses to this trait however is stamina...the energy surge that takes over to complete whatever is needed to be done. These courses were real eye-openers and it helped each other to understand another person and become real team workers knowing we all have strengths and weaknesses. My guess is your friend is a is one of the latter.My granddaughter has inherited this trait as well and we have a real bond as we are two of a kind.

I wouldn't arrange to meet her outside shops and etc any more, just have her around to your house where as you say it doesn't matter as much. Or - how about you wait at home and tell her to text you when she's arrived at the meeting place and then you make your way to her?

It has been really interesting and helpful for me to read all these comments so thank you to the OP for asking the question and thank you to everyone who has commented. I have a cancer group in my house and have been the organiser for 2 years now and have been happy to do it until recently.
One of the group who is a retired teacher is always 30-45 mins late for every single meeting and this really drives me crazy. She also takes days to reply to emails and sometimes I have had to phone her up for a reply because she simply hasn't bothered.
This is why I have now said that someone else can do the organising and they can send out reminders - I feel that in a self-help group, if people make a note in their diaries of the date of the next meeting, they shouldn't need to be reminded but she particularly asked to be reminded. I also think that people should offer to bring cake/biscuits and not have to be asked each time but she never offers to do anything.
Sorry to be so grumpy but I have been feeling that I am being "used" by some of the group! And hearing how others think about this sort of carelessness really helps.

There is only one word to describe regular and sustained unpunctuality and that word is arrogance.It is a clear statement that the other party considers their time to be much more important than yours.Maybe in your case it harks back to the days when she was your boss. She needs to be reminded that those days are over.It is definitely not a matter to be laughed off.Is this person a true friend?

I have the opposite problem - a friend who is always early. No matter what time we arrange to meet - and I get there on time - she is always there, looking at her watch, looking anxious and aggrieved. She invariably says 'oh, we just missed the number....'. We live in a big town. There is no shortage of buses. I have tried getting to our meeting places 5 or 10 minutes early (difficult for me, because of commitments), and she is always there ahead of me. I asked her once if she camped out at the bus stop overnight so she could always be there first. She just looked bewildered. It used to really irritate me, I felt like she was trying to make me feel guilty - 'in the wrong'. Now I just get there at the agreed time - if she wants to waste her time waiting round, so be it.

I'd always meet her inside a nice cafe and take a book or kindle ! I'd also not arrive till at least fifteen minutes later. I'd also text to say you'd arrived, and ask politely when she's going to get there. I'd def have a coffee. Maybe even say will u just go if she's running very late? She won't change tho, so evaluate this friendship. If it's important to you, I'd just take it as part of her personality and always arrive a little late. If it's not an important friendship, just don't meet so often or tell her it upsets u.

Only you, OP , will have a true sense of your friend's personality. I think it a bit much for others to wade in with criticisms of her and to attribute all sorts of negatives to her. You feel she has been rude, but that's not the same as 'vain', 'selfish', etc. And as others have pointed out, she may have a problem. I hope you are not persuaded to think worse of her than needs be.

This is indeed a vexed subject with me. I abhor lateness on a regular basis but......having said this......I tolerate it regularly when the end result is meeting up with my son. No, he certainly wasn't brought up like this but is now an adult and 'manages' his own life. Drat! People who are persistently late tend to think that their time is more precious than mine. I think they are disorganised and have a little touch of misplaced self importance. At the end of the day, if I know their bad habits and am prepared to tolerate them for the resulting meeting, then I simply adapt. I find a meeting place that I am very comfortable in and I go well prepared entertain myself until they arrive. Doesn't irritate me but does make me a little bit sad.

I used the half hour trick for years with my ex. He never cottoned on!

I agree with Broadwater..it is plain rude...nothing more to be said! My aunt used to do this to my frail elderly uncle and he used to get very frustrated. When he died she, his own sister, turned up one hour late for his funeral! I arranged the funeral and I was absolutely furious with her...we had to go ahead without her, and she didn't seem the least bit bothered.

I hate lateness, I would not stand around outside a shop etc but arrange to meet in a coffee shop where I could sit in comfort, have a coffee & read my book/newspaper.

I am always early for appointments & meetings with friends. Don't make light of it.

I don't get so irritated if some-one is coming to my house, DD is rarely on time when she comes to me but with my two DGSs it's excusable, DGS2 is only 4 months old

I'm a punctual if not early person. As far as I remember I've never been late in all my adult life. I HATE people who are always late and think nothing of it, it's "just the way I am" , well it's bloody rude . I have a similar friend , like yours not just five or ten minutes late but half an hour . I got so fed up standing in the cold like a lemon, the last time, I went home. She was furious for a while but it made the point and she is never on time but within my patience time.

I am also on time for arrangements and hate to be late. But most of you all have negative comments about the people who are late. Just a thought here. I have a friend who is also very late and I think it's because she always tries to fit too much into the allocated time that she has and then is always running late. A niece is also unable to get to places on time. On asking her about this she said that she feels that she can stretch time and if she has to be somewhere at half past whatever she leaves home at that half past whatever. Something else is going on with these two and I think it's to do with perception of time. Neither of these two would think their time was more important than ours but are unable somehow to manage their time successfully.

The other thing you can do is agree your meeting time but say you have to leave at a specific time to and stick to it, even if it means you only have half an hour to chat. That way you tactfully make the point that your time is valuable too, and you can't run your day around an unagreed timetable that suits her convenience! That works for me and I can be notoriously late person at times, if not controlled!

My friend was notorious for being late for everything. It was very rude and frustrating especially if dyiur a punctual person. At her eulogy it was even made a joke of that she was in time for her own funeral. Bless her

I think lateness is an irritation to a lot of people and particularly in the workplace. However .....we all have many flaws and imperfections and while many people fail in one area they shine in another. A good friend overlooks a friends worst traits and thinks about the positives that the friendship brings. Patience is one thing that some friendships need more than others.

Agree it's incredibly annoying. But I don't think it's necessarily because they think their time is more important, etc. Some people are just hopelessly disorganised - they dither and faff and never allow enough time to get themselves ready and get to wherever it is. To me habitual lateness is unacceptable in a reasonably intelligent adult, but unless there are really inconvenient consequences to themselves, I don't suppose anything's going to jolt them out of it.
I agree 100% with limiting waiting times with anyone who makes a habit of this. And I think I'd tell them - 'Sorry, but if you're late, I'm not waiting again,' and stick to it.

I agree with those who say tell her you will meet her at 2.30 when you yourself intend to arrive at 3. That way you both arrive at the same time. In my experience this is the only thing that works with those who are chronically late.

Tell her by all means that she is driving you mad by her habit of always being late for every appointment, but don't expect her to change because you explain.

She. if she at all resembles the people I know who are always late, will just be exasperated by what she sees as your nit-picking attitude to time.

Don't get me wrong, please: I don't agree with her; her kind drive me up the wall too, but I have forced myself to adopt the lie about meeting times as the only survival strategy here.

There are basically two kinds of people in this world, we, who are always either on time or early, and the others who are always late.

What was she like with business appointments - could she keep time there?

how about you wait at home and tell her to text you when she's arrived at the meeting place and then you make your way to her?

I like that one!

I confess to being one of those who try to fit in too much before leaving.
I have realised that I need to focus on the time to leave, not the time to arrive. (That probably seems obvious, but wasn't to me, for a long time.)
Now I plan a generous amount of time for travel to the destination so that if I actually leave a few minutes later than I meant to do, I still get there on time.