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AIBU

To expect her to be on time!

(83 Posts)
minimo Wed 20-Sep-17 14:14:54

My friend (ex-boss but we bonded early on and became very close) is always, ALWAYS late. Usually by about half an hour so it's not a minute or two. I don't mind if she's coming over to my house (although on those occasions it's often longer than half an hour) but when I'm waiting outside a shop or pre-arranged meeting place, having texted her an hour before to confirm the time, she is STILL late. I'm using caps as you can see meaning I am VERY irate. I've tried arriving late myself but I just can't make myself do it. I pointedly look at my watch and we've laughed (me, rather drily) about her lack of punctuality before but it hasn't made any difference.

ajanela Sat 23-Sep-17 18:26:06

Mary 10 minutes isn't 30 minutes although you could try harder. In fact I have a problem with timing the other way and always allow too much time.

Dithering around and not getting to the shops is different as presumably you are the one to suffer if you haven't bought what you need,

norose4 Sat 23-Sep-17 23:53:18

Ask her to ring or text when she is at the agreed meeting place, have a coffee or do some shopping until you get the call. Or decide that she is not really worth the hassle .

Gymstagran Sun 24-Sep-17 09:57:32

My sister and daughter are always late. I tried telling them it was rude and that they must think their time more important than mine. Now if it is an important appointment I just tell them that I shall leave without them and I go. Funnily they are then often there early. I don't bother with the unimportant ones and expect them when I see them.

Witzend Sun 24-Sep-17 13:53:51

'It's very middle class to be fashionably late.' !!!

Sorry, whoever said it, but IMO that is utter nonsense!
Since when did it have anything to do with social class, and as for being 'fashionable' , it was only ever so in the opinion of egocentrics and general airheads.

Elrel Sun 24-Sep-17 17:45:25

Amry. I think it is anxiety, a reluctance to leave the house. I have it too. I always put appointments down as 15 minutes before the actual time. Nowadays being late at a surgery can lose you an appointment.
I have to say that I find arriving early feels good!
I also, like a previous poster, don't always allow extra time for possible transport hiccups.

grannyticktock Sun 24-Sep-17 22:47:42

If I'm going somewhere I'm not very familiar with, I worry about getting lost (I do a lot of that), so I try to build in some "getting-lost time". So, for example, I'll think, "Twenty minutes' driving; five minutes to park; and ten minutes to get lost .... that's 35 minutes." That takes some of the stress out of it.

Bluegal Thu 28-Sep-17 18:48:48

Another gem of a thread! (I do love GN lol)

I am another one who is painstakingly early for just about anything. I always arrive long before I need to! and yes, I have a couple of friends who never seem to be on time for anything! I know who they are and I know they are likely to be late so I arrange to meet them in a place I can wander off and look round the shops. Then they phone me and say "where are you"....and I say am shopping, be with you shortly"!

I just don't like getting worked up about it or worrying too much. If I didn't actually enjoy the meetings when we do finally meet up, I would decline all invitations.

I can never understand why people think its acceptable to keep others waiting though. If you decide on a time, why not try to make it for that time?