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Pride and Fury

(30 Posts)
grannyactivist Fri 29-Sep-17 00:05:38

A very close relative has just been awarded the Military Cross: The MC is granted in recognition of "an act or acts of exemplary gallantry during active operations against the enemy on land to all members, of any rank in Our Armed Forces".
The circumstances in which he won the medal have not been made public, but he apparently did something that was both very brave and very dangerous; above and beyond what was expected. I applaud his bravery and am proud of his achievement, but the risk to his own life must have been very great and the outcome might have been very different; hence the fury. He has a wife and children and I'm conflicted - part of me (a huge part of me) thinks he should have put their well-being first and 'played safe', but I also believe in personal sacrifice for the greater good. I want to hug him and hit him all at the same time.

mimiro Fri 29-Sep-17 00:15:30

not what soldiers you know the phrase no one left behind.that is it in all its many meanings.
also have you considered if he had not done whatever it was he may have died as well?
not that i agree have had family in wars since the 13 colonies and england went at it.hate war and all that goes with it.
aaanndd on the other hand congratulations to having a brave and courageous family member.we are free because of these fine people of many generations.

merlotgran Fri 29-Sep-17 00:26:56

How would our armed forces function if military personnel put the well being of their families before all else?

I know you and your family have already suffered a great loss so it must be hard to know that it could have happened again but be proud of him, ga.

Congratulations to him.

Alima Fri 29-Sep-17 06:14:46

Congratulations to him. In the Services he would have been trained to do a job. He would have a split second to decide what to do, probably not enough time to weigh up all the pros and cons. He sounds a good man to have on your side. You and his family should feel very proud of him.

Imperfect27 Fri 29-Sep-17 06:18:02

Seems to me that this nobleness of spirit runs in your family GA! smile

Natural to act first and think later. None of us quite know how we will be in times of crisis, but for some it is just simply not possible to stand by and do nothing - or less ...

Congratulations to your family member. We live in a time of quiet heroes and to be properly recognised for something of such magnitude is a good thing.

He will be a source of pride and inspiration for his family for many , many years too. And yes, thank God the outcome was 'gain' not loss.

harrigran Fri 29-Sep-17 07:31:05

Congratulations to your relative ga, very brave.

cornergran Fri 29-Sep-17 07:38:57

An understandable reaction, ga, he's safe though so let your pride in him shine through, He wouldn't be the person he is if his actions had been different. My congratulations to him.

Greyduster Fri 29-Sep-17 08:22:35

ga it is understandable that you should feel conflicted by this. At the end of the day, soldiers will do what they are trained to do without a thought for themselves and, yes, for their families, when the chips are down. I'm sure you are rightly proud of your relative - it is a definitive honour to receive. Congratulations to him.

MinniesMum Fri 29-Sep-17 11:02:42

Treasure him and treasure the medal too. It breaks my heart when I see medals up for sale on Flog It - someone's incredible courage reduced to an auction. I still have my great Grandad's medals rom the Boer War - my son isn't terribly interested so I will give them to a military museum rather than let them just rot.

Cherrytree59 Fri 29-Sep-17 11:03:35

I can only underline what has already been said.
In the overall picture it is the greater good.
Hard when it is so close to home.
But if it had been your family member that had required such a courageous act you would be for ever grateful.

So *grannyactivist" maybe a big hug and a wee punch smile.

And a big flowers from me!

glammanana Fri 29-Sep-17 11:17:13

GA Such mixed emotions I'm sure but obviously so well deserved and you must be so proud.
flowers for you hoping they find you and your family well.

Blinko Fri 29-Sep-17 11:24:46

As has already been said, you must feel very proud of what he did and very grateful that it ended well. Many congratulations to your family member flowers

AlexG Fri 29-Sep-17 12:23:33

My father was given the Military Cross during the war. Family history says it was just after his first wife had died unexpectedly leaving a three month old. He apparently went on an RAF mission with no care as to what could happen to him. He is no longer with us, but I have his medal and the letter from his commanding officer about it

ExaltedWombat Fri 29-Sep-17 12:54:56

My gut feeling is that heroism is within all of us when called for but, fortunately, for most of us the occasion doesn't arise. Also, without denigrating whatever this soldier did, the award of military honours can be quite arbritary.

Maybe a family man shouldn't choose a career in soldiering. That's the real issue.

Greyduster Fri 29-Sep-17 13:44:08

I have to disagree. The awarding of military honours at this level is anything but arbitrary.

sarahellenwhitney Fri 29-Sep-17 15:04:20

People going to fight the enemy have one thing in mind to protect their family and others against the aggressors Foremost in their minds is their family Are they not protecting them by their brave actions.
So should they too play safe sit back and let others make sacrifices for them.You and I and thousands of others are alive today because of these brave persons.
I was never to know my grandfather as he went to fight the enemy leaving behind my future grandmother with her six year and four year old children.

Tweedle24 Fri 29-Sep-17 15:30:56

I come from a service family -father, grandfathers and uncles. I did 5 years in the RAF myself.
I do understand the conflicted feelings but, I am afraid that comes with Service life.
He did something outstanding to get the MC. Be proud of him and grateful that he survived to get back to his family.

acanthus Fri 29-Sep-17 16:35:47

I really can't see why you should be feeling 'fury' in this situation. Rejoice in his courage - what a fine fellow he must be. No doubt his wife has come to terms with the fact that his is a dangerous occupation and with great risks. The world would be in a sorry state if our heroes stopped to think of the consequences of their actions, in fact there would be no heroes. Save your fury for evil, cowardly people.

Coconut Fri 29-Sep-17 17:13:14

Our forces personnel have a " calling" to do what they do, the same as Dr's, nurses etc It does evoke many mixed feelings tho. I have cried with heartfelt pride seeing our forces return from war torn lands, then cried tears of distress when some are so severely disabled etc But as a mother, I cannot help but feel relief that it's not a career that any of my children chose. We are all human and at times all are various emotions are naturally at odds with each other.

Kim19 Sat 30-Sep-17 08:42:04

Interesting topic this. I recently had a conversation with a young lady who hoped a fireman was thinking of his family as he ventured into the unknown but undoubtedly hazardous and scary. I said quite the reverse in that I hoped his mind was totally on his job and training. If we all put family first at all times I rather suspect no heroic events would ever take place. I often think circumstances dictate involuntary action rather than thought and I sometimes wonder if awards are ever relevant. I am nonetheless I'm impressed and moved by some apparently heroic action that has been reported in detail from time to time and usually find the 'hero' to be some gentle, quiet and unassuming person. Thank God for them.

Christinefrance Sat 30-Sep-17 08:46:45

I agree Kim thank God for all the services who help and protect us. I can understand the mixed emotions but pride and love must be paramount with their families

Elenkalubleton Sat 30-Sep-17 09:40:49

Reading the posts made me think of an elderly neighbour who used to visit me years ago,his title in the Royal Air Force was wing commander.So interested in his past career I asked him what action he'd seen flying etc.He told me he was in charge of the catering in the canteen.Being only 25 at the time I scoffed at this and could not and still can't understand why such a title was bestowed upon someone who had never flown a plane.He was quite upset about this and brought to show me a plan of his responsibilities when he was in service.I apologise beforehand, can someone explain?

Deedaa Sat 30-Sep-17 22:15:42

This is the whole dilemma about military service isn't it. It's wonderful that these heroic people exist but at the same time you would dearly want your own relatives to be safely at home.

Luckygirl Sat 30-Sep-17 22:19:06

I do understand your feelings ga - a sort of paradox.

Iam64 Sat 30-Sep-17 22:21:38

Congratulations to your relative ga. The world would be a poorer place without those who put the needs of others before themselves. The obvious and recent examples that we are all aware of are the fire, police, paramedic and health workers who ran to help when most ordinary people were running for their lives.