A very close relative has just been awarded the Military Cross: The MC is granted in recognition of "an act or acts of exemplary gallantry during active operations against the enemy on land to all members, of any rank in Our Armed Forces". The circumstances in which he won the medal have not been made public, but he apparently did something that was both very brave and very dangerous; above and beyond what was expected. I applaud his bravery and am proud of his achievement, but the risk to his own life must have been very great and the outcome might have been very different; hence the fury. He has a wife and children and I'm conflicted - part of me (a huge part of me) thinks he should have put their well-being first and 'played safe', but I also believe in personal sacrifice for the greater good. I want to hug him and hit him all at the same time.
I understand your point, granny. But isn't this the reality of being in the military or being the spouse or child of someone who is? The risk is always there if they're in a war, even if they've "played safe."
You can't help how you feel, but please don't show the negative part to him. If his dw has an issue with it, she'll let him know. If she has accepted it, then no point in your expressing your "fury."
Alina, and Greyduster - what you say makes sense. Someone came on supply to a school I worked at. A colleague who already knew her said that her son was the soldier had recently been in the media for a courageous act while serving in Afghanistan. He'd put his life at risk and saved several fellow soldiers. His mother is a very down to earth person, I think her son would be the same. She said her son had just acted automatically in the situation.