....to feel disappointed?

Well done.
I feel a bit miffed, I think is the word, to find out that a group I belong to has an 'inner circle' - well I would call it a clique - which includes my friend. My friend has been going for three or four years and I've belonged to it for nearly 30, as have a couple more of us.
I really dislike cliques.
Do I want to join them?
Probably not.

Imperfect left for sometime once before.
I hope she is ok, she had started a new job I think.

I didn't think I had seen any posts from her lately, perhaps she's gone to a site with more po-et-ree.

I'm often stunned by these threads but this one takes the biscuit. You appear not to have liked them and, you tell us, saw them as people who "took a rather poncy approach to poetry". You go on to explain this "did not always sit easily" with you. I imagine they got the message.

You were moving and I do wonder who told you it was a manoeuvre to ditch you and the other woman. It may just have been one of those things; a decision made to stop because you were moving. Then finding the three, who presumably found their "poncy approach to poetry" did "sit well" for them changed their minds.

Feeling anything other than sadness that an era you half liked had passed seems a total waste of energy to me.

It was not quite like that, as evidenced by the other person who was ditched, who actually was close friends with one of the members, and had not moved away.

When you live in a very rural area, there is not a big choice of activities and compromise is the name of the game. Not everyone in the groups you join might necessarily be all you (or indeed they) might choose; nor the content. I accepted that compromise.

This does not change the unacceptable way that two people were edged out.

What a lovely thoughtful person & befriender you are Luckygirl.
Sad to say it happens here on Gransnet as well, If ones comments don’t reach someone else’s perceived standard one must expect to be slapped down ‘ good & proper ‘ ?

I feel well and truly slapped!

What poncy, two faced, treacherous. back stabbing, nasty bitches they are. I hope you’ve had the opportunity to dish the dirt about them in your old village. Slyly in the nicest possible way of course. Especially as the other lady was so upset. Does she still have to see them about the place?

You need a pee?
Too bad, hee-hee!

Presumably the woman who said to you that the group was now ended was trying not to hurt your feelings but the one who came to your door sounds very weird, not only calling to use the loo but in saying what she did.
You are better out of their company by the sound of it.
Writing groups, poem groups and book groups do sometimes attract pretentious sorts.

For me it was water under the bridge till today when I realised that this other lady had been seriously upset about it. I wanted to back her up.

Well done! ?

Also sad to say happens on here too Lemongrove,I have apparently not met the required standards at time ?

Me neither Bridgeit....but am I bovvered? Not a bit.

??

GracesGranMk2 dear me! Lucky expressed sadness and hurt at underhandedness which I fair enough! She has now clearly stated her concerns, supporting the other excluded lady. Even if as you say, they " got the message", tthey could easily have raised issues not pretended the group was stopping

So sorry this happened, Luckygirl! It's clear that these 3 ladies wanted to go in a different direction from you and, perhaps, J, and that you, in fact, would have preferred for things to go in a different direction than they wanted. It's possible they knew their approach "didn't sit well with" you, but didn't know what to do about it.

Yes, they should have told you and J that they wanted to focus on a poncy approach and, therefore, needed to let you 2 go. But perhaps they were afraid that would hurt your feelings. Or they're just cowards and were afraid you and J would object and they didn't know how to deal with it. Most likely, they thought they were making it easier on everyone by lying. Obviously, to the contrary, they made it harder. But I doubt they thought that would be the result and don't think they intended to be cruel.

Imo, it's great that you spoke up and showed your support for J - IF they knew she was upset by what happened. If they didn't know, then you may have overstepped and spilled her private concerns, etc. I hope it's the former.

Perhaps you and J can start your own poetry club, as someone else suggested - maybe call it "Not a Poncy Poetry Group."

And yes, GNHQ, a poetry group here would be great!

I am so envious of all of you who can write poetry just off the top of your head. I couldn't write a poem if my life depended on it. Good for you, Luckygirl, for letting these women know what twits they are. But I imagine it didn't even phase them in they own little world. What goes around comes around so they may get a bit of karma coming their way to bite them in their &$?!

Luckygirl, William Blake's A Poison Tree describes such hypocrisy.
I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I waterd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night.
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veild the pole;
In the morning glad I see;
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

Wonderful poem isn’t it Alexa ? In fact all his poems are wonderful.

Does it Alexa? I thought it was talking about unshared anger not hypocrisy. But we will all inerpert these things in different ways I suppose. To me it seems to refer more to the sort of unspoken anger Luckygirl described in herself - until she sent the email of course.

The people with the 'poncy approach' did not seem to be wrathful; they seem to have resolved their issues with the group. They do not seem to have 'watered it with fear' either. I cannot imagine the one who called a Luckygirl's house in the way she did doing that if she was feeling a growing anger. More like the offering of an olive branch perhaps.

They made on decision and then another and that resolved it for them. We may not like the basis of that decision but it does seem, from Lucky's own description, that this was a two way thing - and that is without any evidence from the three who chose what they wanted to do.

The 't's are still going missing and I haven't spotted the all - sorry.

I think you have slightly misunderstood the situation Graces. The other members did know the hurt they had caused as J burst into tears at one point when she realised what had happened - when she was at another function where the others happened to be present and in the course of the meeting they asked each other when the next poetry group was and it became clear what was going on.

My email of yesterday (when I heard how upset she had been) was simply to provide her with some back-up - to make the point that she was not being over-sensitive, but that things had not been handled well.

No olive branches here - the lady came for a pee!!

The remaining 3 members now know that their actions caused offence; up till then they were oblivious to the feelings of the two rejects.

I let it ride past me - other more pressing issues in my life - but only decided to speak up when I could see how much hurt had been caused.

I don't think I did misunderstand Luckygirl. I simply think there is another side to any issue.

You asked if you were being unreasonable. Perhaps we should have another title which says "I just want everyone to agree with my point of view.

We will agree to disagree Grace - I am aware that there are 2 sides to everything and I am party to both sides.

The bottom line is that a small social group of 5 people was disbanded by the person who initiated it; she then reconvened it leaving 2 people out. That is insulting and hurtful and one of those two individuals cried on and off for 2 weeks over it.

I do not think that can be good.

I initially asked whether I was BU to feel disappointed by this. I do not think I was - you clearly disagree. That is fine.

I think you did the right thing in sending the email Luckygirl - they sound cliquey and insensitive.

If next time she comes to pee
Send her to the apple tree