To treat my son's home as a holiday venue, while he's there?

I used to wash up and tidy the kitchen when I went to look after the DGC until I read on a thread that DILs may not like that, so perhaps check which chores your DIL would like you to do. If she says 'none' then just clear up your own mess.
Although I must say that my DIL always seemed grateful if I did do it.

Can I come too?
Can we all come please - I'll wash up.
I want to see those 'fantastic metal trees'.

Sounds OK to me. I visit son and family in another country a few times a year, and like Tennisnan, do shopping and cooking and as they have 2 small children,babysitting. I just check in advance whether planned dates suit.

I think as long as you can be independent about travel etc, don’t expect to be entertained and help with housework and costs, that you shouldn’t worry and enjoy visits.

Have you tried asking him?

Ask them if it's OK. Some people would love it and some wouldn't.

Doesn't sound unreasonable to me but couldn't you just ask them how they feel about your visits? If it's starting to bother you could you stay in a hotel or self-catering instead? That way you'd still get to see your son but without the angst.

Just go and enjoy yourself. Is it Singapore? Can I come too?

I never thought of that Bathsheba!

Perhaps the son lives somewhere where polygamy is permitted, so he has a wife and a fiancée Jalima

Perhaps they thought you should have stayed longer?
I am a bit - who is the fiancee?

I don’t understand what you asking only you can possibly know the answers is it worth worrying about Don’t look for problems where there doesn’t sound as if there are any