Gransnet forums


Is it usual to go off sex at 65

(109 Posts)
Clakka Tue 27-Feb-18 21:19:28

I’m 65 and my husband is 71. We have a great family with 8 grandchildren. Our granddaughters are like friends and I love to go out shopping with them and they can talk to me about anything. I go to the gym, I do voluntary work and I have lots of lovely friends who would probably say I look pretty good for my age. My husband plays golf, keeps pretty fit and we have wonderful holidays together. However, I am not a bit interested in sex anymore. It’s a kind of “been there done that” . I would rather go to bed with a good book. I love my husband and we’ve been married for 45 years. He is still attractive but like many 70 year olds spends most of the time looking for his glasses or phone while moaning about the government. We had a wonderful sex life until about 12 years ago but sometimes in the press it appears that we should all be doing it forever. My husband thinks I’m not normal even though we still cuddle and are affectionate to each other. Viagra has always seemed a curse to me as it just prolongs something that should naturally disappear . I can’t talk to my daughters or my friends about this but I would love to know if this is unusual,

M0nica Fri 02-Mar-18 07:56:27

When we are the cooks, we have some control over what food is plated up and put in front of our partners, although even that is dictated by food likes and dislikes. But snacks and drinks, alcoholic or not, are completely out of our control, When the men do the shopping and cooking themselves.......................................

Luckygirl Fri 02-Mar-18 08:55:32

"woman is overfeeding them" - sounds like something from the 50s! Men do cook you know!

Reading some of these posts, there seem to be ladies who might deliberately overfeed their partners in order to get a good night's sleep! grin

MargaretX Fri 02-Mar-18 09:13:48

Is this subject talked about by men I wonder? A friend told me that after a heart OP the consultant told her husband he would be able to have sex - but nothing too exiting just your wife!
Now I know this is a well known joke -at our expense but at the patients bed side?

Men will always be able to take viagra and so the problem will never really be solved as prescribing a pill doesn't answer the underlying problem but brings in the dollars.
For many the last 20 years are the happiest in the marriage - no teenagers around, no boring work to go out for and do and for a lot of women no more sex and your own bed.

Iam64 Fri 02-Mar-18 18:51:15

I'd never heard that "joke" till you posted it MargaretX. I must have led a sheltered life. I'm v ** off by it!

PamSJ1 Sat 03-Mar-18 07:21:24

Trendygran I understand you. My husband died 17 months ago st 51. He'd had heart failure for 2 years so we had to take things at a gentler pace and less frequently but there are other ways of showing you care. I'm only 53 this month and miss him desperately.

pollyperkins Sat 03-Mar-18 09:05:53

This thread is now on facebook. Just warning you all!

stella1949 Sat 24-Mar-18 03:25:00

"Normal" is different for everyone. I'm 68 and would love to keep having sex, we've only been married for 10 years and that would be lovely. But 6 years ago my DH had a brain tumour which knocked out his hormone production completely. He takes artificial ones but they have made no difference. He has zero sexual feelings at all , and despite trying Viagra, Cialis and even injections ( yes he had to inject himself "down there" ) he has had no results at all. It's like he is dead in the sex department, not only physically but mentally too. He just doesn't think of it at all. I'e tried "looking after myself" but it just isn't the same at all. So I content myself with a good book. Mismatched desires are certainly a feature of our age group !

Chinesecrested Thu 12-Apr-18 19:48:47

I think it's the way nature works. Men can carry on procreating into their 70s or 80s, so nature organises that they have sexual desire right up until the end. Women stop being able to have babies round about the age of 40 (ish) so it's a waste of time and energy having sex! They would be better looking after the children that the have got - and the grandchildren of course! Hence the fall in sexual desire. That's my theory anyway!