Weddings/Funerals in particular.

We are invited to a friends Sons Wedding in July the dress code is black suit, when I rang to reply, I asked what ladies should wear I was told a knee length dress it doesnt need to be a long dress!! This is a normal Swedish Wedding but they do tend to go over the top here, my dress when I have bought it will be a nice summer dress and I am sure nobody will notice I will just mingle and be unnoticed I hope!

My son had an eco friendly wedding. His suit, the wedding dress and mothers clothes all came recycled from eBay and charity shops. We walked from the chapel to the reception which was a simple meal in a local restaurant and the cake was a supermarket sponge with extra decorations. It was a beautiful, low cost wedding

And DH's funeral cost about the same as you paid, Maw. I was not going to quibble about cost for such an important event and we all wanted him to have the best send-off.

There are no hard and fast rules what clothes we should or should not wear at weddings and funerals. However I believe a funeral warrants respect and would carry out the wishes of the bereaved.

I went Exeter Horse racing course to a Ladies Day and was picked to be in the best dressed woman competition. I had on a dress that I had purchased from a Chinese company on the internet for £14, a pair of shoe for £1 from the sales, a £2 bolero from a charity shop and an old hat that I had customised with flowers and feathers.
My 3 friends had on very expensive outfits and they weren’t picked. To top it off I was the only one to win on the horses coming away with £78.

When I got married the last time (!) the whole day including food for 80 people, clothes for wedding party, flowers etc. came to less than £500 and we had the most wonderful day!! It can be done...!!!! ?

I'm with wildswan16 and other posters here. If I go to a funeral (MiL's was last year) then I will wear what I have in my wardrobe. It's ages since I went to a wedding - I might buy a new outfit but then I'd use it for years! And I find that charity shops can be a brilliant source for smart clothing. No need to spend a fortune.

Your grammar needs attention

Never one to pass up a bargain I wore a dress I bought at a car boot sale for £1 to my sons wedding. I did shell out for my own second wedding though - dress cost £12 in the sales!

Your grammar needs attention

Whose mabon?

Maybe somebody’s manners need likewise

Agreed Mae. That remark was uncalled for.

Maw I meant!

In which century do you people live????

Why not? Go for it

My late father loved my mother to wear bright colours. She told everyone not to go down the traditional route clothes-wise for his funeral. She herself chose to wear the outfit he liked best on her; and the rest of us wore whatever we liked and felt good in. A sad occasion - but it was much easier to think of it as a celebration of his life as a result.

mabon1, the remark about grammar was uncalled for.

I have been to two funerals were it was specifically requested everyone attending could wear any colour they wanted ....providing it was not black or any other dark subdued colour. The emphasis was on celebrating the life of the deceased person. At two other funerals I have attended where most of the mourners and others did wear black or dark colours it was quite a shock to see the widows on both occasions wearing very vibrant colours which seemed puzzling at the time and made us wonder if we had got it wrong by wearing black. I certainly think things have changed and what was at one time classed as unacceptable to wear anything other than black is not unusual now for different colours to appear. It may also have to do with the type of funeral as well. Weddings......A good local dressmaker can save you a lot of money. Buy your pattern and material and have it made to measure..usually go by word of mouth. Years ago I did a flower arranging course and have since done several wedding flowers for family and friends as my gift to them and saving them extra expense. Basically when it comes down to it...you pay your money and make your choice.

Dear Maw.
I Have been away from gransnet for a while due to technical problems at their end. All is now fixed.
During that time I realise that Paw passed away and we would like to offer you our sincere condolences.
You must still be going through the bereavement process and must miss him very much.
My very best wishes from Carole.

At DH's Funeral my DD "borrowed" my lovely black coat, I never got it back but it was getting a bit tight for me. My replacement coat is charcoal grey as I couldn't find a black one, I've had it 4 years & never worn it. I have a couple of black jackets, black trousers & a black skirt. Theses I would team with either a white blouse or an appropriate colour. For DH's Funeral I wore his favourite teal blouse.

My DF died in 1978 & we were all banned from wearing black.

My experience of Funeral Directors is very favourable having organised 3 & will have DM's to deal with in due course, she is 89 but I hope she's around for many more years.

I haven't been to a Wedding for many years now so any invitation would be an excuse for a new outfit but I always shop around for a bargain. I've always either worn something I've already got or bought a new blouse to go with a skirt I already owned

I have a funeral coat and a navy dress (vintage 1990's) and a few black outfits. for my DS's wedding, like another poster, I put myself in the hands of a local exclusive dress shop, spent a terrifying amount on a 'designer' outfit and felt uncomfortable all day. It didn't fit properly; why I didn't say at the time I really don't know, but I have worn the jacket a few times and the rest of the outfit has been consigned to the back of the wardrobe. It should be in a charity shop but I expect the frightening cost makes me feel I might just wear it one day. I doubt it though.

Thank you Carole. Now that the numbness is wearing off I am finding the prospect of “getting on with my life” harder than I expected. Everybody has been so kind, but the occasional thoughtless remark or unexpected reminder can knock me sideways.
But I’m not the first and I won’t be the last.
Thank you though

Mabon: Attention? Maybe, but so does your punctuation! Get thee to Pedants' Corner!

I've sorted that ages ago. I don't go to weddings or funerals. I went to my daughter's of course, couldn't let her down for that, but that's my lot. I send flowers to funerals in place of my attendance. After some initial backlash, everyone's got used to me as the person who doesn't go to anything.

Ooh I just love shopping fir weddings?

I keep a funeral wardrobe, black tights, 1 pr black shoes, 1 pair black boots, black skirt, black trousers, white shirt, grey black mix jacket. It takes a little bit of space on my hanging rail and I can brighten things up with a scarf. I am not a believer in fashion and would prefer to write meaningful words on a with sympathy card rather than spending time looking for new clothes..