AIBU to expect a gift?

Today was my birthday - I do not need or expect a present from my DH = I did get a card and was taken out for breakfast - however out of my 6 children 2 forgot, 2 I haven't heard from yet, 2 have had cards and flowers - I know they love me I don't need cards and presents am blessed by having them in my life
DH and I spent the day looking for a new telly!

What other people do is the way they do it and not necessarily yours

What I don't understand why you didn't tell him there and then what you felt. Made a joke of it and say you were expecting a double treat.

Obviously you were expecting a gift, so it is not unreasonable to be disappointed that your husband could not be bothered to get one, unless agreed in advance. Having said that, I would buy something for yourself that you would like and make sure he gets the message for the next occasion.

I would definitely say that you felt hurt, and why, you have to keep the lies of communication open, men can be very obtuse if you don't spell it out!

I guess I am very lucky, I am asked for birthday and Christmas lists, and he picks something from there, so it is still a surprise, but something I wanted or needed! Get the odd bunch of flowers at other times if we happen to be passing a market stall...

Do you all still get cards from adult children? I get desperately hurt if one of them forgets, but wouldn't have the courage to mention it!

Birthdays are a big deal in our house. You should embrace each one as if it’s your last. It’s the one time per year you can spoil each other. I took a whole month to celebrate my 50th. I even had a 49th and a half to soften to big one. Great fun. Life is to short to not celebrate these things. So no your not wrong to be upset.

No, URNBU but you do get to a point when you give up.
Sometimes DH remembers a card but not often and always asks in advance what I would like and that is when it becomes my responsibilty to source and buy it but I rarely do so as I don't get out often and need help when I do. DD is a big help with this but I don't often see her as we don't live nearby so it doesn't often happen. I have concluded that this is just the way some men are and I don't take it personally because there is no point in getting myself upset. I actually cannot remember when I last had a present from DH! Part of my problem is that my birthday is at the back end of the year so it is difficult to organise anything with the family whereas he is summer born and the family always make big efforts for his special birthdays. I have a special birthday this year so I think I am going to be like the Queen and will have an official birthday, picking a date when everyone can come! I wonder if it will happen!
He is a lovely man and we love each other very much but this is his blank spot and I can't see it changing. I love the garden and am easily pleased with a garden gift or even a gift voucher so it could be very easy. It is well known that I am more likely to get a bunch of carrots than a bunch of flowers! Our children are not like him at all! I am so glad that our DS always makes big romantic gestures for DDIL and she knows that she is a very blessed lady!

This has been interesting because I had not acknowledged or realised much of the above and it makes me sad - so now I think I must organise what I want with our children.

P.S. I do like carrots!

Old Meg, I have done this ( taken myself off for a little spend up) for years but the old man doesn't seem to notice OR is too cowardly to ask why, in case it provokes an argument. When all passion is spent...

Our 41st wedding anniversary was last week and TBH, we were so busy that it slipped my mind. DW suggested that we didn't worry about cards etc. but I picked one up while I was shopping later. (How else do you think I've managed to be married 41 years?) I do manage to get her appropriate presents but she has lagged a bit. However, she did buy me a 6 burner bbq plus side burner so we get by! But life's about every day, not just the anniversaries!

I don't think I have ever EXPECTED a present from anybody since I was a child. I do deeply appreciate those that I receive and don't actually register if someone hasn't given me one.

We still buy card and presents. We usually buy a few presents each and wrap them and put in a large gift bag beside all the presents from other people. They're not necessarily expensive as at 65+ we are fortunate enough to have all we need. But its such fun opening them on the birthday morning. I love doing it. Its like Christmas. maybe we're just childish.

minxie I love your half birthday idea.lol. We all have different ideas but I do feel hurt when my son doesnt buy me a present. It doesn't have to be expensive at all. But the thought matters to me. If your children know it matters to you they should make the effort , I feel.

I don't think anyone has a right to a gift. A gift is freely given, not enforced; otherwise it wouldn't be a gift.

To Absent: yes, a gift should be freely given, but what about this comment from my husband: " You buy your friends". That from a man who has none. I don't " buy my friends" I give to them because they show they care for me, whatever my faults, and it gives me tremendous pleasure to give them little rewards for being in the sisterhood. I am being very convicted recently for MY propensity to judge people. We cannot read another's heart so must be careful in our assessments of other people's relationships. No more nasty comments Gransnetters. If a girl feels neglected or sad because her nearest and dearest aren't being kind she's entitled to express it.

Yes, LyndaW, it's the recognition that you are still special to him in any sort of card and present on your birthday....so do tell him his behaviour hurt. And like others say, treat yourself to what you would have liked.
My DH wrote beautiful cards and gave lovely presents for about 20 years of our 27 together, but then dementia appeared. The little losses mount up, and even treating yourself doesn't fill the gulf, but I see my care as pay-back time for all the wonderful love he gave me.

Jaxie well said. It really is the thought for some people. We cannot read another's heart - lovely phrase. We don't want to be nasty. Some of the comments on other sites are unbelievably rude. We don't want to go down that road.