grand daughter buying a car

Not got the wrong end of stick MaBroon but why are YOU (I mean you in particular) so worried about not having heard from the OP? Surely that is the OP perogative or otherwise. That is what I don't understand. Why do you think you need to even comment on it? Why are you still looking at this thread even? Not beating anyone over the head about anything...but your closing comments asking IF we have heard back from OP says it all. For some reason you feel she must reply? Why? and whether its courtesy or not, what has that to do with you exactly? That's all I am saying. Oh and yes I do apologise for not knowing what the confused icon was but maybe you could have put it in a post for all of us to know what you meant?

By the way Mawbroon...I am not falling out with you about anything. I love some of your posts so much but this ...I don't understand

Thank you jalima frankly I had no idea what that tumbleweed post was about I know I buy it to use on the drive, but couldn’t see the relevance. , I wondered if it was in the right place or some obscure code, hence the which, if bluegal cares to check the emojis list stands for [Confused ] because I was frankly [ confused ] not to say [ nonplussed ] and even [bewildered]
Thread police? What a load of bo**ocks. As for the suggestion that I was attempting to kill any conversation dead I take extreme exception at such a stupid notion. Were I so minded I should merely say FFS. I suppose it is too much to hope that Bluegal might apologise for getting the wrong end of the stick and proceeding to beat Willa and me about the head with it. (that stands for [ hmm ]by the way.
In the meantime, have we heard back from OP?
What do you think?

No Willa...not at all but its not up to you or MawBroon to decide when to kill a conversation.
and it has obviously not killed the conversation.

Just saying

buds I haven't responded but am wondering if your DH has money worries? Or has always had problems with your family and this brought it to a head?

It is your house too.

There was another thread similar to this a while ago, perhaps the responses on there could be helpful to you, if you can find it.

MawBroon can post what she likes as long as it is not against guidelines.

And doesn't mention the 't' word.

No Willa...not at all but its not up to you or MawBroon to decide when to kill a conversation. Why is MawBroon raising eyebrows at the last posters? What has it got to do with her t.b.h. If she feels the poster has left and is either not genuine...why bother reading anymore? Then you come on and (seemingly) back her up... why? that's what I don't understand.

Don't get me wrong I read a lot of Mawbroon's posts and wholeheartedly agree with her on lots of things but I am fearful she is somehow nominating herself as the gransnet police ha ha..... "OK this is going nowhere so nobody else post or I will raise eyebrows" that type of thing....

Of COURSE she could be correct - nobody suggesting otherwise but new posters will post as they deem fit and don't expect anyone else to intervene in a negative way (other than OP that is). It will become obvious to all if the OP has left/refuses to answer etc but honestly...sometimes the comments of others to posts can actually HELP other people in similar situations ...so imo...shouldn't be discouraged. x

Mawbroon
A Tumbleweed moment:
From the motif in western movies where the wind blows tumbleweeds through the scene, usually to establish that the place is desolate or empty.

Or - A deafening silence.

Perhaps budds8 could give some feedback. Nothing from her for a while!

Bluegal....

I never said posts are not worth responding to. You are misinterpreting my post. Every post deserves a response!

Only the person who posts can know if or when their issue has come to a resolution (or not).

Shouldn't they at least let the rest of us know what's going on or do you prefer to be ignored?

Not sure what you are talking about Willa? Are you saying there is a time when (someone) decides a post is not worth responding to? Maybe? or maybe not? Who knows when it is looked at plus who decides a post is 'closed'? Surely when people post and its not responded to they will work it out for themselves? Not up to anybody else really is it?

Like some of us here, I too have raised issues on these forums and gotten some very good advice from many of you.

Mawbroom raises a very valid concern. Posters need to respond and to provide updates until activity stops altogether. Many people seem to forget or ignore this simple common courtesy.

It's the least we can all do to acknowledge someone's valued feedback, to show our appreciation and to give our fellow 'Gransnetters' some closure.

Simple rules of reciprocity and caring often remain 'unwritten' but they should be no less binding.

...tumbleweed blowing around.....

what is going on here ? these are your flesh and blood and if you want them to come to your home to see you ,they should ,that man is going to have a very lonely old age the way he is going on ,,you see your GD and your DD ,please dont stop seeing them and tell this tyrant of a person to go

Don't be bullied like this it is totally unreasonable, invite the family for lunch if he doesn't like he needn't be there, he is way out of line.
Grans value children and grandchildren above all else it about time he realized it.

Great comment merlotgran. Totally spot on.

This seems to be a very strange scenario with too many unanswered questions. For instance, what exactly did your husband blame your daughter for? If your GD was already keeping up with payments? Was there a previous discussion about money or buying a car? Was he angry because you have been 'stung' previously maybe? Or was your daughter at the end of it then and refused to co-sign for her own daughter?

On the face of it, it sounds like your husband is simply being unreasonable but there's niggling doubt (again) wondering what the build up to all this was? Otherwise its the proverbial - sledge hammer to crack a nut!

On the other hand if, as others have asked, this is just a long line of controlling measures by your husband; I hope now you have got the advice you are doing something about it.

Good luck

I think Budd has gone maybe the answers weren’t what she wanted to hear or maybe she’s in a pickle about what to do but if she’s gone along with this for three years I should think the estrangement or banning is well and truely entrenched Im amazed the daughter hasn’t put her foot down but I don’t think we ll ever know

If you've put up with this for 3 years, why are you suddenly asking for advice. Has something happened to make you suddenly need advice? Three years is a long time to be subservient and then wonder if it is reasonable.
If I were your daughter and family, I would be most upset if my mother just accepted this as being ok for such a long time. How do your family feel about this? Would they support you if you decided you wanted to leave?
As for your DD knowing that her DD was going to ask you, why is that unacceptable? I would prefer to speak directly to my DGD if it were me as she would be the one paying the loan.

Maybe his behaviour has gone on for so long both of you feel it's ok but believe me after 27 years of it I realized I deserved better and people will only treat you as you allow them to confront him it's your home as well how dare he ban your family he is a bully.

I think there’s a few posts that have just been to set a hare arunning.......

Not holding my breath .......

A man versus my family....no contest....I'd tell him exactly where he stood......what a nerve

Maw, maybe so, or maybe OP only allowed to use internet when DH not around? Been there too......

Maw you may be right about the line going dead :-(

Please don't put up with this BS, I did so many years ago and it only ends in even MORE controlling behaviour. You have a right to be happy. Do what makes you happy. If he loves you he will support you in whatever makes you happy, and if he doesn't, LEAVE! It is YOUR one life, and you're not getting another one! Hugs xxx