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AIBU

DD and DSIL loan

(103 Posts)
lucyinthesky Wed 27-Jun-18 10:41:05

My DSIL lost his high paying job at the end of January and I offered to loan DD the money for nursery fees for DGS2 to keep him there until end July for which they were very grateful. I don't have huge savings and am a single Mum but really didn't want DGS2 to miss out and be taken out of nursery while DD works parttime.

I expected that when DSIL got his payout for constructive dismissal (around 80K plus) I would get paid back. Seems not. When I asked if I could have the money at the beginning of August as I have things being done in my flat and don't want to use credit DD said she thought I didn't want the money back until after DSIL got a new job and if I couldn't afford to lend it they would have taken DGS2 out of nursery!

DSIL has no job in the offing and is considering starting his own business. DD works part time from home. Besides their house they also have a flat which they rent out and don't want to sell as the market is poor (which I understand) They plan to pay back some of their mortgage when he gets his payout but not pay me back my loan.

I've said I don't want to fall out over this but AIBU in expecting my money back before they back off a lump sum of their mortgage?

lucyinthesky Tue 03-Jul-18 21:37:26

They didn't think about starting a business until quite recently when it became an option for them as he wasn't offered a new job. When I gave them the loan it was on the basis he was getting a job not starting a business.

icanhandthemback Tue 03-Jul-18 22:21:11

It does sound like he took you very literally that you were expecting it back when he got a job and he hasn't actually got one yet. I know people who are quite black and white in their thinking like that which makes it very difficult to get them to shift their position. I am surprised your daughter isn't backing your corner though. I guess it is just a lesson learned.