To feel just a little bit miffed.....

gmelon
Coffee or tea and the pastries change, sometimes almond, sometimes a warm buttery croissant or other offering.
It's a chance to relax and I fully appreciate it after shopping.

I would my bit of shopping quick, then tell them you will be in the Waitrose cafe when they have finished their shopping.

gmelon You can get tea too but not cake I am afraid ?

stella1949 My maternal grandmother learned to drive at 60 so there’s no excuse for the never learned brigade! She had lived abroad with GF in a country where women were not allowed to drive, and they had a chauffeur. When circumstances obliged them to return to the U.K. my grandmother decided to take secret driving lessons (using my parents car to practise in as DM was in on the secret) and presented GF with her pass certificate whereupon he promptly went out and bought her a car?

She not much of a friend! Friendship is a two way thing. I would start by saying, Sorry, not around for the next week. Definately not be so available, it is so selfish and I would be doing something else when she asks next time, she can afford a taxi, do could you if you didn't run a car.. Have a bad tummy or something, anything to make her think how much you and the other friend do. As for expecting the kind tutor to do a 50 mile round trip well that is awful.

Mawbroon, try to find the courage to be honest with your "friend".
If she doesn't like it, it's her issue.
The reaction may go right the other way, you just can't tell.
This is your time now, to fill just how you want. You have no responsibility as such - unlike in youth, so it's time to think of No.1.
If you remove your availability then you won't have to listen to the "praise" of the other lady either, so it's a win-win situation.
Life is for living to the full, how you want

I can't see why non-drivers are in for such criticism from some people here. I can't drive. I tried many times but was very nervous. Provided non-drivers don't behave like this lady has done, it's nobody's business.

I

I can’t drive either. I try not to rely on friends much, never ask to be driven anywhere, but am grateful if they offer. One friend regularly takes me to the supermarket. She is going anyway but goes out of her way to pick me up. She offered to make this permanent some yeas ago. It is very useful. At the moment she is recovering from an operation, and I really miss those trips. It was our chance to catch up, too.

I have tried offering to pay my share, but both she and the other friend who sometimes drives me just laugh and tell me not to be ridiculous.

I can’t use public transport, so I use a great many taxis. It may seem expensive, but it’s much cheaper than running a car. Drivers often seem to think using taxis is madly extravagant.

Just thinking if this is an old friend you will know how much of the way she is carrying on is down to her OH illness, just let things drop back a bit gently, the Supermarket being the first to go that really is not necessary in this day and age and certainly not when it puts you out.

Jenpax

A pastry...not cake.

Spot on, luluaugust (and others)
I fear she is ageing faster and becoming much more inward looking because of her OH’s condition.
So I don’t intend to begrudge her my time but will in fact be away and /or so busy (by my standards) over the next few weeks that the “cycle” will be broken.
What goes around comes around after all.

eloethan I don’t think non-drivers in general are being criticised, only those who expect to have the use of other people’s cars and time and take this for granted.
A lot depends on where you live. If you live within walking distance of reasonable shops or where there are plentiful buses or a metro, the not-driving is not so much of an issue than if you’re in a rural area with a bus once a week.

I don't expect drivers to take me anywhere but have you ever tried suggesting going by public transport to people who drive. They look at you like you are demented.

It an argument you could use here!
Only one bus an hour and you would need to change buses to get to the nearest supermarket! As for the Railway station, reconcile yourself to a £10+ minicar fare!

It is NOT an argument ...I meant

jaycee I drive. I also go on the bus and metro and sometimes brave the London North Eastern Railway.
What’s your problem?

janeainsworth Aside from the nastiness of your comment I don't have a problem. I was just giving a (slightly tongue in cheek) other view.
Of course people who drive use public transport but some rarely use it and it is their choice to drive rather than go a different way.

I don’t think janeainsworth made any nasty comment at all.
As for saying people look at you as if you were demented, not my experience so I don’t know where that came from.

MawBroon No. 'what's your problem' is a friendly comment!
Note to self, don't make tongue in cheek comment on Gransnet, and don't think you are necessarily entitled to join in with what you think is a friendly chat.

MawBroon you are right to be miffed. To praise a mutual friend to the exclusion of the present friend is discourteous. I doubt if your non-driving friend is being aggressive . It's more likely that she has not learned that lesson.

I wonder if there is a passage from Jane Austen that illustrates this: something for your Book Club?

jaycee My comment wasn’t intended to be nasty.
I just wondered why you seem to think that anyone who has a car would bridle at the suggestion that they use public transport. Most people I know do both. Describing them as looking at you as if you were demented seemed slightly over the top.

Note to self, don't make tongue in cheek comment on Gransnet, and don't think you are necessarily entitled to join in with what you think is a friendly chat.
No-one has suggested that you aren’t entitled to join an any thread you like, have they?

janeinasworth I hate to think what phrases you use to people you are intending to be nasty to. If it wasn't intended you would have apologised.
It is called hyperbole. It was a joke. Of course I wasn't seriously suggesting that no one who drives a car ever uses public transport. There is no point explaining a joke to someone who has decided to take it seriously and use it against you.

I don't expect drivers to take me anywhere but have you ever tried suggesting going by public transport to people who drive. They look at you like you are demented.

I just thought that janeainsworth was answering that statement which is not necessarily true of all drivers, Jaycee - in fact probably not true of most drivers who live near public transport.

Perhaps they looked like that because they thought it was a surprising question - especially if, like most older people, they have a bus pass which they use.

Oh dear I went away for just a short while. Lovely friendly thread.
What's gone wrong?

perhaps we need you gmelon