AIBU? GS in night nappy

My mother was - and still is - the mistress of interference. It's led to a difficult relationship between us, and the grandchildren are not close enough for her liking. She feels she can override any decision, and in the past it's caused untold upsets. She's still trying to control my thoughts and opinions and trying to tell her adult grandchildren what to do. The great-grandchildren don't see her often, and certainly not for very long. Such a shame.

Don't go down that route, OP - it really, really isn't worth it.

My sister wet the bed for quite a few years (at least 6 or 7 years old). My mum just dealt with it as far as I remember but there was no hassle. it's not something that we talked about (I was four years older), and it's never been spoken about since. It all comes right in the end so just do as the parents want.

I used to wet the bed until I was about 11 and remember waking up in the night soaking wet and cold. My mum used to wet the bed as did my grandmother. My eldest girl also wet the bed and I put her in disposal nappies which gave her and me a better nights sleep. The most important thing is not to make too much of an issue out of it, as my grandmother was brought up in a children’s home and she would be made to sit in the corridor with the wet sheet over her head whilst the whole school went past her on the way to breakfast. My mum was brilliant with me, never moaned (and she had to change my bed every day with no washing machine or tumbler dryer) and I too never made an issue out of it with my daughter. Your GS will grow out of it in his own time.

Incidentally, my grandson is 9 and has just stopped wetting the bed. He's so proud of himself! He's never been made to feel bad about it. His 5-year old brother has also just stopped. It all happens in its own time, with encouragement and love.

You have to put your opinions aside and go with the parents’ rules, especially with the children of sons. Surely if an issue is made of it he will pick up on it and the problem could get worse.

So you want your GS to feel what it is like to be wet and uncomfortable? Think about how you would feel if someone had suggested that you lie in a pee ridden bed so you could see what it is like! Do you really think one night a week is going to make a difference to immature bladder? You had your turn with child rearing and presumably you think you made a good job of it so trust your DS to make the right decisions for your DGS. Interference will probably end disastrously.

My son was very late being dry at night and wore pull-ups until about that age, maybe older. I wasn't worried as I knew my brother had wet the bed until he was about 8 - in the days before pull-ups so my mum was dealing with daily sheet and pj washing even on holiday! Thankfully MIL didn't live nearby so he didn't often stay overnight and never normally without us. The only occasion he did - we were at a reunion of my ex's old school - we got back late at night to be told he refused to wear the pull-ups. I knew she had an issue with this so don't know if he actually refused or more likely she asked if he wanted them on. We panicked as she had put him to bed in a double bed-settee with his sister! I imagined the hysterics that would have ensued if he'd wet the shared bed so quickly removed him and put on the pull-ups to avert potential disaster. I was pretty annoyed that she did that, and my son became dry at night in his own good time. If lying in a wet bed works for some, it certainly didn't for my brother. Some children sleep very deeply and even if they are disturbed do you really want to have to deal with a wet bed for however long it takes. As time went on the pull-ups were increasingly dry in the morning until eventually they weren't needed any more. I'm just glad that they were available and I didn't have things as hard as my own mum did!

Please don't interfere. Maybe your Grandson needs the security of the pull ups and they are hardly a big deal. If you leave them off and he wets the bed he will be distressed and may feel worse because it is at your house not at home. He would certainly tell his parents who may decide he cannot come again OR worse, he may not WANT to come again which would be awful.

nannyjan2.
Just when you thought you had heard them all lo and
behold another one pops out of the woodwork. So we should 'not stick our oar in ' but consider our selves priviledged to be grandparents ???.If you can pull yourself away from your 'new' status I would ask D for a supply of pull ons and carry out her wishes. Unless the child has physical or even mental issues, by that I refer to feeling insecure and this bed wetting gets him attention, which I am sure your D may have considered, so in as much as you dislike the idea do you really want more work with wet bedclothes? and a little boy who I can imagine would not feel very comfortable. Hope it works out for you with happy faces all round.

This is barbaric, many children because of later maturing of the nerves to the bladder are not dry at night until about 11.
Leave well alone, thank goodness for pull ups.
Please read up on this, just because we may be grandmothers does not mean we know or understand what is best. Do not interfere. Jocork did a great post.

NannyJan2 - Please, please revise your thinking and your attitude right now!! That little boy will soak up any negativity on your part to any of his behaviours. And this behaviour is one he has no control over. None at all.
I speak from experience. To my absolute shame, I was not kind with my Absent Daughter when she was wetting the bed at age 6. Now her daughter (brought up by her single father) is a bed wetter, and I am a much more enlightened, more laid back grandmother than I was a parent. My 6 year old DGD wears a pullup, and pops it into the garbage can by herself in the morning. No wet bed (thank goodness), and no shame. She will grow out of it when she does. She is the light of my life, pullups and all!

I didn’t have this problem personally, but I would have been reluctant to the point of hysterics as a little one to be made to go to stay at a place where I was made to stay in a wet bed.

I can’t help but think this will damage the GP/GC relationship

When I was sixteen in 1969, I remember a heath visitor lecturing at the course I was on, who mentioned that 30% of 18 year old men, doing National Service, which Denmark had and still has, wet the bed!

I highly doubt they wore nappies until they were five and I am absolutely certain that bed wetting is not caused by when you stop using nappies, but by various emotional issues and very rarely some physical condition.

Please, do not make an issue of this, just use the pull-ups supplied.

Hi, my granddaughter is 6 and still in pull-ups. I should leave it to the parents to sort out.

My GS is still in pull ups at night and he is 7 and a half. I wonder what will happen if he gets invited to a sleepover.

Very cruel and a bad idea. You just don't know why he wets at night and its not your place to go against the parents wishes. My sister and my gs were both bedwetters until a late age and then its just stopped. So just leave it.

My bro in law informed me that lots of young soldiers wet the bed.
One of the reasons for bed inspection.

Both my daughters were dry early. My granddaughter still needs a night time nappy and she's at school. She's been checked by doctor and all is well. When she stays with us I just do what her Mum says. Yes, in the back of my mind I do catch myself thinking, 'gosh this was not how it was for me etc'. But its not up to me....so I bite my tongue read her a bed-time story and tuck her in grateful that she loves staying at Grandma's. Think what you like but its not your place to interfere.

My third DC had a problem with bed wetting and it made no difference if she wet the bed,didn’t wake her up at all.
Didn’t make a fuss about it so as not to worry or upset her but eventually I did make a doctors appointment as she was of an age that it definitely should have stopped. We were sent to a clinic that dealt with the problem,first month we had to keep a food and drink diary, nothing showed there as being a problem.
The next thing was waking her before I went to sleep to let her go but also wait until she had gone twice and was properly empty. That improved a little.
Next time we went she was giving some tablets,within a fortnight it had stopped and no accident since.
Mine never drank blackcurrent but was surprised to be asked about it as apparently it makes bed wetting worse

Not all children are the same as I understand it a certain hormone as to come into play which aids bladder control at night and one of reasons it doesn't is can be lack of fluids over the day especially when child is at school you should accept and go along with parents it's not your decision like others have said just enjoy the fact that she stays .

I have a 5 year old son. We only took him out of pull-ups at night a few months ago, and he still has accidents once a week or so. Typically, he wakes up to go, but can't get to the toilet in time, so it isn't always a wet bed, but often wet pyjamas and so on. Recently we spent a week at his grandparents, and he regressed (excitement and strange place - hadn't been there since he was a baby), and wet the bed 3 nights in a row. Granny was very understanding, but since she lives in an area on strict water restrictions, I went out and bought some pull-ups. Less stress all round.

Current medical advice says not to even begin to worry about bed-wetting until a child is 6 or 7, after which it's wise to screen for medical issues. It's simply a matter of muscles strengthening, and nerves sending a fast enough message to the brain.

I tell my son that his body and his brain are still learning to talk to each other, and sometimes one can't wake the other up fast enough.

If you can't have a bit of kindness and understanding for your own grandson, you'd better hope he's not the one who's left to visit you in the nursing home if one day you're old and incontinent.

NannyJan2 all the advice is very sensible, you may well make things worse not better by letting him wet the bed to 'learn'. He would probably be very upset, tell your DS and DiL and as OP has said you'll find yourself on here lamenting the fact you've fallen out with them and you don't see your DGS!!

And he’s not going to be wearing them when he’s 18. I wouldn’t mind them at 6am when I eek! Need the loo!

Think about this little boy's dignity. Why would you want to humiliate him? Pull up pants are there for more than just physical reasons. Don't you imagine that on some level this child might be feeling embarrassed about his bed-wetting?
If anyone had considered upsetting my son in the way you suggest I would have been furious.

I was a bed wetter till I was thirteen, when it totally stopped abruptly, thankfully. There seems to be no apparent reason for this, and all children outgrow it, most sooner than I did. Don't draw it to his attention, just carry on doing as his parents request.