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To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

(213 Posts)
PECS Thu 02-Aug-18 15:55:49

I see the use of passed or passing in place of died or death is increasing. I find it an odd turn of phrase and quite irritating. I wondered when we became so afraid to use death / died/ dead?

Anniebach Mon 06-Aug-18 20:19:45

Iam, I told my priest friend Paul was on my hit list, he said ‘ you have disagreed so often with him you are probably on his ?

Iam64 Mon 06-Aug-18 20:50:44

grin Annie

Anniebach Mon 06-Aug-18 21:12:24

I have my defence when the time comes Iam, emotionally damaged from the age of 3 having to wear that damn brown bowler to chapel every Sunday, hated those bowlers and the summer straw hats adorned with flowers after age 6 wasn’t great either. Paul’s fault for his ‘woman should cover their hair,if they didn’t it should be cut short so better they cover their hair .

SueDonim Mon 06-Aug-18 21:51:25

I was surprised to learn recently that this debate isn't a new one. A book I read a while ago mentioned a woman in the 1940's who disliked people commiserating over her 'lost' parent. She preferred the term died.

I too would say died when speaking of my experience. To me, 'lost' has connotations of being found again, which, as I am a non-believer in the afterlife, don't expect to happen.

Nor would I say passed away, if it was related to my family or friends, but I respect that other people prefer to use the terms that they are comfortable with. It does me no harm to adhere to their preference.

I did see an obituary in the US that informed us that the subject had 'transitioned'. In this day and age of gender-non conformity, it certainly took me aback for a moment.

Claudiaclaws Mon 06-Aug-18 22:05:09

I find the phrase passed, annoying. Passed away, I could just about cope with. What I do know, is that when telling a person that someone has died, one needs to be quite clear so there is no misunderstanding. So I think one of the best ways to say it is to say," I'm sorry to have to tell you, but so and so has died." Not, as I was informed about my father's death that there had been an accident, there hadn't, he had had a heartache and died. Actually my mother didn't even phone me, it was the man who lived in the flat below her. She phoned other people but not me.
It made me ill for months.

Claudiaclaws Mon 06-Aug-18 22:07:38

heart attack!

MollyF Wed 17-Nov-21 15:55:44

I hate 'passed' because it's a creeping Americanising of our language. I also hate 'bathroom' for toilet and 'year on year' instead of year after year.

BBbevan Wed 17-Nov-21 16:30:12

DH always says “ Passed what?” Wind?

Beswitched Wed 17-Nov-21 17:07:49

Oh my goodness some of the posts on this thread - someone telling us all that they have a 'good laugh' at the expression 'lost' a loved one, and another describing how she and her daughter go around sniggering at inscriptions that people have put on loved ones' headstones". [confusedshock

TerriT Wed 17-Nov-21 19:08:32

My American relatives use the phrase passed instead of died. When I’m told someone has passed I’ve an urge to say ‘passed what’ but it would be cruel! But like all things from America, it will soon be used here instead of died. I suppose it sounds less final .

bikergran Thu 18-Nov-21 09:07:55

Perhaps some people just cant bring themselves to use the word "died" maybe "passed" is easier for them.

Does it really matter what term you use, someone has just passed/died and they are telling you in the best and easiest way they can for them.

For anyone that has had bereavement we all know that it is like a stab in the heart and a sledgehammer to the head.

At the time we really don't care a &^^%$$"! what term we use.

bikergran Thu 18-Nov-21 09:09:14

Well I don't/didn't just to suit someone else.