To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

I know many Christians who are very happy and don't feel they are sacrificing anything. Like what? My mother in law lived for her family and others. She delighted in sharing what she had and looking after neighbours . She enjoyed socialising with others, having holidays, worshipping and sharing her faith with fellow Christians. All with the peace and happiness of believing in God and eternal life. What did she sacrifice?

I'm not sure, Eglantine. Some people end up in circumstances requiring heroism, but if you're an ordinary soul- married, kids, a job, duties to family & friends, not exceptionally gifted - then you may well find your life is just a series of small events, you never get the chance to do anything massive; surely then it's about doing the best you can with the card you've been dealt? Otherwise only people in dire suffering would ever merit eternal life?

True Starbox. I do know others who have made sacrifices to their own lives to serve others for God. You don't have to be living a miserable existence though in order to be a Christian.

I suppose I’m just thinking about the things that Jesus said.

If you have two coats, give one to somebody who hasn’t got one. Comfort the sick, feed the hungry, visit those in prison.
In as much as you do it not to one of these you do it not to me.

Is it alright to say well he didn’t really mean that but he did mean I will have a place in heaven.

St Paul talked about running the race, about athletes denying pleasures, training and pummelling their bodies for a fading earthly prize and how it was necessary for Christians to undertake discipline and make an even greater effort to win their heavenly prize.

Being a Christian is a serious business I think. Everybody has the opportunity to deny themselves and give to others, but not many do to the extent of caring for others ( not their family,that’s easy) more than they care for themselves.

No I’m not convinced by the pick and chose of what’s in the Gospels. If I was going to do it I’d have to face the demands as well as the gifts.

This is real, serious thinking that I do. Not a “have a go” at religion. I didn’t reject the Christian religion without studying it and seeing if it worked in practice.

I shouldn’t have tacked this onto this thread. I’m sorry. I got a bit waylaid by some of the latter comments.

Eglantine, for me it isn’t easy, never has been, I slip, pick myself up and keep trying , I think all Christians do the same. It’s for life once one decides to dedicate one’s life to him, not pick and choose.

Having taught primary and secondary school children ,they find the use of "gone to sleep" and "passed away" confusing ,and little kids find going to sleep worrying as they think that's what happens,and they worry about it!
And they think if they ,mum ,dad,go to sleep ,they won't wake up,but it depends what makes you feel okay,my husband died age 30 and I used the word died.
Our daughter was nearly five so I told her that daddy had gone to be a twinkle star,and when she was a little older I explained what that meant.

There is no right or wrong ,died is a blunt word,it's very final,and passed sounds gentle.
I am a medium and always use the word pass,to people I read for,but spirit uses the word dead,

It's such a horrific thing to go through ,the words are all meaning the same.

We in this country are really uncomfortable about saying anything about death,and really do drop you or cross the road.this has happened to me.
In Europe it's much more open ,the morning is open,feelings and tears are open and very much natural.

Hen visiting Spain,I was asked where my husband was when visiting with my daughter,I said Ma Marido est muerte, simply my husband has died,and a plethora of black scarved grannies came out. To pat my hand ,cry with me,wring their hands a bit,it was strangely refreshing!

Use the words that you can cope with, for me ,I felt passed and fell asleep where not right for me.

I've never used passed or passed away, I say died or is dead. I've often heard people describe the loss of a loved one and empathise with that, it describes a feeling rather than an event though.
I'd never criticise someone else for using euphemisms. As for taking the wotsit, by asking some one 'what did they pass, their driving test' or similar - give me and the world a break.
We all manage bereavements in our own way and the way we name the death, the loss of a loved one, is our business, not that of anyone else.

Some are very uncomfortable with grief, when my husband died my parents rushed to be with me, my sisters were in the house before my parents arrived, he was killed on my mothers birthday and one of my sisters said - don’t cry in front of Mum you will upset her and her birthday has been spoilt already.

Hmm, we always have a good laugh when we hear that someone has “lost” a loved one or friend. We usually say “how very careless”, should have kept a better eye on them..

Several posters have spoken of their loss so you have had plenty to laugh at gransruleok, I said I lost two babies so I gave you a double dose of laughter

The mind bloody boggles at times.
That's all.

I can still see the funny side of death and the resulting events and even though my mum's death is recent I can appreciate a little gallows humour. Because of a legal situation her ashes are still with me waiting to go in the grave with my dad. When we went out to lunch the other day my DS said "Shall we take Nanna with us?." I thought it was quite funny and she would have appreciated it.

I have never thought that death had a funny side, it means grief for someone, events that follow can amuse but death never.

I suspect that gransruleok is neither a gran nor very adult. Probably someone who is getting bored with the school holidays. Not to worry, gransruleok, it won’t be long until it’s September, then you can go back to school.

Great post Mapleleaf

A Catholic priest I knew always regarded a funeral as a celebration and held them as such. He thought if you were a Christian you should be celebrating them going to heaven and be happy for them.

My parents and grandparents had strong faiths which helped them negotiate the deaths of loved one's and preparation for their own deaths. They believed absolutely that in Heaven, they would all meet again.
Funerals were for those left behind. My father left clear instructions about one hymn he wanted to be sung but was happy for the service and other hymns to be planned by his wife and children. Mum followed suit.
I've been to a number of humanist funerals recently. All 'well done' but I confess to having missed the beautiful language of the Church of England, the friendly formality of a religious service, taken by a Vicar who knew the deceased and his/her family well. The continuity, beautiful language, familiar hymns belted out by the congregation provides something comforting for me. I do realise it isn't for everyone and that some would find it alien. That's a whole new discussion though isn't it - one that I'm sure would rattle more cages than this discussion on whether 'passed' or 'died' is the acceptable description.

Interesting trisher, not what we read in the New Testament , the shortest verse in the Bible which can be found in the Gospel of John, He visited Mary and Martha when they were weeping over the death of their brother Lazarus, “Jesus Wept”

My aunt (also buried recently) had left instructions that she wanted the 1642 (I think) funeral service from the English Common Prayer Book. It included a very long passage from the Corinthians which is nearly impossible to read. Interesting.

my parents left no such instructions trisher - they were imo classic C of E, especially my mum. the took the best of the faith and rejected what they saw as old fashioned oppressive texts. My mother had no truck with the Old Testament approach to gay men. Her view was simple, her Jesus would never ever had rejected anyone who did no harm who simply fell in love with another man.

Jesus didn’t speak of homosexuality, Paul did, so those who argue against homosexuality and are reminded of this use the argument ‘the bible is written by God’ for me the books and epistles may be but Christ’s teachings are his,

I have really been enjoying Sue Black's biography " All that Remains " she was in the forefront of putting names to the remains of genocide victims in Cosova. She said that she had not " lost " her father . She knew exactly where he was at the top of Tomnahurich cemetry in Inverness put there by Frasers the undertakers. I think this is so true.

I think lost means lost the love, companionship, hopes, and replaced with the aching arms, the empty side of a bed or crib, no parent love. Not loss of a body but it amuses some to speak of it as this.

I know it was Paul, Annie. Paul said a lot of things I disagree with, noblest his views on homosexuality