AIBU to think this is pathetic?

I don't mind sharing the bill but it does annoy me when one diner goes to town and orders the most expensive things on the menu and drinks like a fish. I try not to associate with this person but sometimes it can't be avoided.

When I was working, a group of us went out for lunch every Friday lunchtime to a local pub. Sometimes four and sometimes six of us. We always split the bill by however many were there. Sometimes someone had a more expensive choice and drink but over the weeks/year it evened out. Very petty to do otherwise and if I was you I wouldn't go out with this woman again!

On the other side of the coin, you go out with friends and they order the most expensive meals knowing the bill is going to be split . You have a modest meal and end up paying for other people's greed.

Drinking a driving? Surely not!

True friends never count the cost.

FB-type “friends” may show they’re not true friends.

Tips are what you decide to give and nothing to do with anyone else. If you are fond of this person look to her good points and put this split the bill meanness down to the fact that none of us is perfect and we all have our faults. Have a good time.

Oh I had that happen recently Jalima. There are two of them and only one of me but we still split the bill. But this time they brought her sister who was staying with them so they got three meals to my one.

I’m not sure if they realised or not!

Eglantine I'm finding it extremely hard to imagine they didn't realise. It sounds as if this is a regular thing (your words "this time"), in which case I'd stake my life that they have always been aware that they get twice as much as you for the same outlay. Time to speak up I reckon, as it looks to me as if they're just taking advantage of your good nature.

I detest this 'let's pay our own bill'. It's embarrassing. When I go out with friends we decide beforehand that we will split the bill evenly. Usually if one has something more expensive then they just put a little extra in, or pay the tip.

I’m don’t know why it’s necessarily greedy to order the most expensive thing on the menu, razz.
We went out for fish & chips on Monday with friends. MrA and I had haddock and chips (£7.50) and some of the others had sole (£9).
Is that greedy?
As it happens, at the suggestion of the person who had organised the lunch we all paid for what we had, but it wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest if we’d just split the bill.
We sometimes go to each others’ houses for meals. I don’t sit down and calculate how much the others must have spent on food before deciding what to cook for them.

I would be happy to split the bill if it was for only a few pounds. But when we used to go out with a particular group of workmates ,two to three of them would order the most expensive food and drinks and keep on drinking , because they knew the bill was going to be split and it spoiled the evening a bit . And they never wanted to leave anything for the tip just a few pence , leaving others to make it up .

I eat out regularly with 2 separate groups of friends.We are fortunate to have lovely pub meals around here in Derbyshire costing between £5 & £7
In the 1st group we each go to the bar and order / pay for own. No problem

The other group is mainly elderly and infirm ladies and they are hilarious. We inform the landlord before hand and negotiate a set price of £10 with them for a 2 course meal with 2 choices, There's usually more than 10 of us and for many of the ladies, this is their only monthly outing. It is always the same car drivers who go around picking up those without transport but you do have to watch out because especially the portly ones like to swing on the car door when getting in or getting out of the car. There is never any question of offering to share the cost of fuel. They must think cars run on fresh air.
These outings are hilarious. Some of the ladies forget what they have ordered between the final order being given to the waitress and it arriving. They chunter with each other that they haven't got what they ordered and point out who it is that is eating their meal - probably because the other choice looks more tasty than the one they have got. Some of them bring a plastic bag with them to take what is left home for their tea.
On one occasion, 1 lady went home in a coat that must have been 2 sizes too big and when the other one went for her coat , the buttons wouldn't fasten! The 1st lady had left and we didn't have her address with us.
We have got around the 'tip' scenario by adding £1 to each person's bill - so no falling out there.
Drinks are a different matter, we always have jugs of water on the table and anything else has to be paid for separately.
Reading this it may sound like a nightmare but it isn't and if we didn't do it some of these ladies would be completely housebound.
I could see them falling out if one person had to pay more than £1.50 than the others.

Having been stung for extra by those in the group who leave early ( ‘here is what I owe’ conveniently forgetting the service charge and their drink(s)) we now divi up the food costs and get drinks individually - restsurants don’t like it but it means the drinks and drinks service charge, which are difficult to keep track of, arn’t added to the final bill for the few that are left to pay

I go out regularly with a friend who drives--I don't. When we lunch I pay for the drinks/coffee and we split equally the meal. I occasionally pay for both if we have a light lunch --toastie or similar. Running a car is expensive and I am wondering if this is enough. When I lived in London and had a lift I always popped some cash in the glove compartment but it isn't appropriate with this friend.

Five friends and I meet up for dinner once s month. We split the bill equally and round it up a bit to include a tip. I just can’t be bothered with messing about with the odd couple of pounds. If one person drives and hasn’t had a drink, we reduce their bill and split the rest.

OMG what a nerve Grannyknot

When I go out with friends we always split the bill equally; I have to say I always lose out as I am a vegetarian and usually those dishes are at least £2 less than the standard menu, I prefer water with my meals, and never have a dessert. My true share is in reality around five pounds less than the 'equal sharing' but I have never said anything and really don't mind too much ; I would hate bickering about who pays what.

I do agree that if you are all drinking alcohol for example and someone isn't then you should split the bill so that the person who is not ordering wine or whatever doesn't end up subsidising it. But when the difference between the drinks is only a pound or so this seems ridiculous to me. Had it been the other way around it wouldn't have entered my mind to care let alone to say something

Yeah, but I didn't have the rice.........

As a couple we sometimes go out with other couples who have teenagers. In that case we split the bill by amount of people then multiply by numbers in their party. It’s calculated and divided up very roughly and any extra goes towards the tip.

I wonder if she has been stung previously? I would regularly go out with a group of workmates and because I lived in a remote village I always had the car. Between them they’d get through 3 or 4 bottles of wine to my tonic waters but the bill was split and I always subsidised their drinks. Doubly annoying as I was desperate for a glass! I could have asserted myself and paid my own bill but decided the atmosphere would have been spoilt, so paid up. It’s possible this has happened to your friend and she’s decided to stand her ground.

We have friends who when we are staying with them always insist we go out for a meal but will not use taxis so the wife complains each time that she has drawn the short straw and has to drive. She also insists, however, the waiter fills her wine glass which she then gives to her husband to drink. She is so frightened that we will drink more than our fair share!!
And they are much wealthier than us but that is always the way!

I often meet friends for coffee/lunch, we each pay for our own, there is no embarrassment in requesting either separate bills or to pay for your own at the end. We have never encountered any problems in paying separately wherever we go, I find it saves any embarrassment as some of us are on a tight budget, it also allows the freedom to choose as cheap or expensive as you want. I also don't drink when I'm out as I am always driving, sometimes I only drink the water which has been put on the table.

Best to sort the payment arrangements beforehand.

I had a friend who was great at organising trips out - several a month - and there was always at least 12 people taking part each time. I found out many months later that the reason she volunteered to coordinate the trips/meals/cinema/theatre visits was that she getting her meal/trip/ticket free as a package. The only time she paid up was on the meals as we always divided the bill by the number of people attending, even though several of us didn't drink alcohol, so her 'free meal' reduced the cost a bit for all of us. Everything went fine until two new friends joined for the meals and started complaining because someone had asked for salad instead of chips incurring a small charge on top of the standard meal. It then escalated into 'You had two glasses of wine not one' and 'I only drank water not the wine' and 'You had two bread rolls not one' - my friend got so frustrated she told them all that her meal had, in fact, been free, but she had paid up a share like everyone else so had reduced their bills. After that we each paid for our meal separately and everyone lost the little bit of discount we had been getting because of the 'free meal' previously.

This reminds me of a story I heard years ago.
It involved 6 women who were the wives of foreign assignees in Paris. (Very well paid). They met regularly and always split the bill. One day, a new woman joined them and when they split the bill, she objected and said "well I didn't have peas!"

I’ve lost two friends through this ... it chips away at you (me) over the years .... shame really I did like them both but now see them rarely no fall outs just distancing

Sorry but hahaha.it made me laugh at the persons silliness over £1.50! i would have had to say to her"oh ill put the extra £1.50 in for you IF YOU CANT AFFORD IT?"- and she may have been so shame- faced she never did that again!!