AIBU to think this is pathetic?

This is making me smile. I had a lovely lunch out yesterday and it now occurs to me, as a result of this thread, that I had the most expensive items. Huh! Never even thought about it. We divided the bill without even giving that a thought. The most I would ever have had would have been a cheeky comment but I guesss neither of them noticed either.

We have a friend who always orders the most expensive dishes and drinks on the menu and then simply splits the bill. It seems nit picking to object so we don't. She also drinks as much as possible when at a party or a celebration - so long as it is free. Result? She gets very drunk.
We now avoid going out with them and won't be inviting them to any more celebrations.

In Germany this question never arises. The waiter will ask if the bill is separate or together if you ask for separate bills, everyone gets charged for what they have eaten and drunk and rounds up for the tip as much or as little as they want.

The only exception is if someone has expressly invited the others or is the head of the family and he or she then gets a single bill for the whole table.

We always pay for ourselves now. We went out with four friends and the bill amounted to £350. We had opted for a main meal and a couple of glasses of wine (we were driving, they were staying at a hotel). They opted for full three course meal, drinks, with coffees and brandies to finish.

That was the last time we split the bill!

Clearly she is better off because she is mean. Mind you I always ask for separate bills if a number are dining out together it just saves any hassle if there are meanies in the company.

I don’t think anyone minds dividing the bill when the difference between what you all had is minimal. I think the annoyance creeps in when one person, (or couple) regularly order more courses, drinks or markedly more expensive items than everyone else, and then expects to just split the bill.

Exactly Gma29, I never mind paying a bit over, but have been caught out several times paying way over the odds for what I actually had. But I also find it embarrassing sitting down diviing the bill up. Not sure what the answer is.

Some restaurants say they won't split bills. My friend and I always go Dutch when we eat out. I think it's embarrassing if the bill is not split equally. My friend told me about being out with friends and one person arguing because he hadn't had chips! I wouldn't eat out with that person again.

My significant other and his brother asked me to join them for a meal. I offered to pay my share, but my very generous friend brushed me off saying I was invited so he and brother would split the bill.
At the end of the meal, brother whipped out a large and fancy calculator and itemised his third, which astonished us.
My friend was so embarrassed that he footed the whole bill, which his brother accepted with alacrity.
I have never seen such a blatant exercise in stinginess, especially considering that the brother in question is a VERY wealthy man!

I used to eat out with a bunch of former colleagues, all retired, all on a reasonable pension.
We used to split the bill. Some were drivers, some not, so the drinks varied, with some just having tap water, others wine, but one always had a glass of champagne.
For the meal, most of us had the two course fixed price, but some would have a dessert as well; some would order a la Carte, and then there were some who had coffee.
So the difference could be considerable.
So we asked for an itemised bill, and everyone worked out their share, and added more for the tip. We paid the whole bill together. This worked better. Nobody was being mean, but some had been taking unfair advantage under the “split the bill” system.

I prefer to split the bill - it's so much easier - but surprised by some of the comments on here - surely if you split the bill you do it on a per person basis? If I were one of a couple, out with a single friend, I would expect the couple to pay two thirds - or three quarters if they had a child with them too. I wouldn't dream of expecting the single person to pay half the bill :-(

One way to deal with the case where some are drivers or teetotallers and not drinking, while the others knock it back, is for everyone to buy and pay for drinks as they want them, as at most weddings, rather than putting it on the table bill. It works better in a pub than a posh restaurant but that's where you're likely to be with a big group, which is when the problems arise.

I am far happier paying for myself and others doing the same. The whole thing gets out of control and you don't know if you owe or others do and what do you do next time. Or I or someone else states I am paying for this. If they say, no I am , I say go ahead so as not to end up in a Mrs Doyle situation (Father Ted where she and her friend argue because they both insist on paying and end up rolling about on the floor and are arrested.)

So to summarise, either it's deffo someone's treat, or you pay for yourself down to last last 50p - unless short of change, obv.

Goodness me. I often eat out with ladies groups. My London walking group all order our food and pay individually. Once a year we have afternoon tea in a posh hotel and simply split the bill. Anyone not driving and fancying an extra glass of champagne can go to the bar with cash. Sometimes we go somewhere new for lunch and just split the bill. As I am on public transport home, I add £10 extra to the kitty for my extra glass of wine and that usually leaves £2.50 in the tip box on top of my shared tip. However, when I was almost made bankrupt, I went out with friends to a shopping mall and had no money in my purse when we stopped for a coffee. Excruciatingly embarrassing. I no longer own a business or villa in Spain but am thankful I can pay my way on a night out. My best friend's husband is a multi millionaire and insists on buying a very expensive red wine with a little snifter of it. I drink white and normally 3 glasses with a posh, spaced out meal. Couldn't possibly drink any more.

Hubby's boss is in same financial position and is very mean. He is supporting his estranged wife's families, buying them houses and cars, plus holidays but refuses to pay his staff a decent wage. When he goes for dinner, it's always to a place where he's a regular and gets a discount. I am starting to think that is how they accumulate so much money.

A very good post.

I am a member of the London Red Hatters and we pay individually.

This topics pops up often so is a bother - in both directions -as it obviously annoys those who think splitting a bill is annoying and annoys those who subsidise others’ meals. Perhaps it comes down to which camp one’s in?

As a non-drinking (am happy with tap water) often dieting (no puddings -unfortunately!} non-coffee or liquer-imbibing diners, my husband and I often pay a third more than our bill should be. I know we sound parsimonious but it isn’t really like that. People have different appetites.

Do I mind? Honestly? Yes! On two counts, really the first being that our dining companions surely must realise their bill exceeds ours by quite a factor and I find this a bit sad. Nice people (or we wouldn’t see them). The second being that it is I who feels guilty, thinking of our ‘disadvantage’ and then I feel petty! My husband thinks that the price differential is the price we pay for seeing our friends but I wish that we could each pay our way.

We prefer to tip at %15 and our friends %10 so that’s another dimension -in a different direction!

We certainly wouldn’t not split a bill, so perhaps our companions think we are happy with the status quo. Perhaps it is our fault.....?

It would be marvellous if split bills became the norm- can it be so much more trouble(?).

Back to the original poster, I think mentioning £1.50 is quite petty and annoying (unless that sum meant much to someone on a low income) but wish split bills could become de rigeur.

I can see both sides of the argument. I do think it is unreasonable to insist on separate bills for the sake of £1.50, but I have also been in the situation where I have only a limited sum of money to spend so have chosen the cheapest meal and gone without a starter or dessert to keep within my budget. I would be most put out to be expected to contribute to my companions 3-courses with wine and coffee!

Pathetic. My sister in law is like this. Once paid 'her share' of a pot of tea with my (then) 14yo daughter !

This is more difficult than would first appear. I agree with
HillyN in the main.
If there has been a problem with a previous meal with the same people then I would make it clear from the outset that I would pay my own bill next time.
Issues over payment do detract from the enjoyment of the meal and the ambience of the evening.

This can be a real pain.
I go out with a group of old school friends from time to time. Two of us have wine, the others don't drink, so we two pay for our bottle of wine, and split the rest with the others.

On the other hand we also go out with another group of friends, DH as well on these occasions. He doesn't drink as he is driving, and I only have a half of beer. One of the group goes straight on to the spirits, and when we come to split the bill we've often paid way over for what what we've had.

I'm all for not being pernickety and splitting the bill, but people have to be conscious of being fair.

I'd stop going out with her as other posts have said.

If there is a next time, give her £1.50 then split the bill !! She needs to be embarrassed for such pettiness.

I don't drink alcohol nor do I eat meat or seafood so my choices when dining out are invariably cheaper, that is why, unless it's just coffee and cake or fish n chips all round, I always ask for a separate bill.

I agree but have a friend wo always chooses something expensive - she is well off and I do get miffed when we split the bill

I am afraid I have got a "bit of a thing " about this. I would probably chuck in fifty quid, leave and never speak to them again. OTT I know.

We always pay separately. I hate the thought of any member of our meal party feeling they’ve paid more than their fair share. Paying separately means I can have whatever I choose without looking at prices. We often dine with a range of people with vastly differing budgets, and I’d hate to put anyone out of pocket.
Incidentally, to someone on a very limited budget, paying anything extra can be disheartening, and spoil the enjoyment.

Exactly Lilihu. Though we usually split the bill between us when we go out with friends these days it wasn't always the case.
When I was a hard up student ,long ago , I once went out to a 21st birthday meal with friends. I was short of cash so chose what I could afford very carefully. To my horror at the end the others agreed to split the bill! I think one has to be very sensitive about this.

I was out with three friends some while ago one of whom is notorious for working out her share of the bill to the last penny. On one particular occasion she excelled herself by asking to split the cost of a plate of biscuits 4 ways.......they cost £1 in total. I was both flabbergasted and embarrassed in equal measure.