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AIBU to think this is pathetic?

(91 Posts)
cherrypicker Wed 08-Aug-18 16:07:21

A group of us went out for dinner to a local pub last night. There was a set price meal deal and we ordered drinks to go with the food. When the bill came one of the friends and I assumed we would split it three ways but the other insisted we paid for what we each had because her drink was cheaper (by £1.50!)

I am all for paying my own way and being fair but this seems ridiculous (and she is better off than me and our other friend so it wasn't a case of watching the pennies. Mind you maybe this is why she is better off)

palliser65 Sat 11-Aug-18 11:49:36

When you go out in a group it's to enjoy the occasion and the conviviality. Anyone who doesn't consider others enjoyment should just be excluded. I mean greedy and selfish as well as the parsimonious.

annep Sat 11-Aug-18 16:34:14

Bit silly over such a small amount. I generally split and don't worry about whether its fair. And I usually leave a tip as well probably more than my fair share. I don't mind. But if others were drinking a lot of alcohol I dont think I would. I think I would have to say. I can afford to not care. If I couldnt I think I would have a different attitude.

annep Sat 11-Aug-18 16:42:58

Eglantine that is so not on. They must know what they are doing. I would have objected long before now.

milliespain Sun 12-Aug-18 10:52:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bridgeit Sun 12-Aug-18 12:31:06

Perhaps there could be a third way, ie, stating that you will put in X amount of money which will be in excess of the actual cost of your chosen meal therefore contributing to the collective, without having to pay 2 or 3 times over the odds.

Hm999 Sun 12-Aug-18 18:29:01

Sometimes going out for a meal really stretches the purse, and someone drinking excessively, or having a starter and a dessert and coffee can be the reason why one person will not be able to come next time. A good host/organiser will take all the diners' pockets into consideration before the meal when choosing the venue and 'ground rules'.

Daddima Sun 12-Aug-18 18:49:53

The people we eat out with as couples eat and drink more or less the same as we do, so a simple split is easy. Having said that, I wouldn’t order the most expensive things on the menu if we were splitting!
My friends have a restaurant, and say that teachers are the worst for quibbling about who owes what ( teachers, feel free to disagree!)
As for eating out as singles, we have a friend who will always remind us that she’s not drinking, though her two wee bottles of Schweppes orange and one of lemonade easily costs as much, if not more , as an alcoholic drink!
I can live with paying a few pounds extra to have a hassle free night in good company, but don’t know how I’d feel if somebody was deliberately extracting the urine!

M0nica Sun 12-Aug-18 22:04:58

Last week watched as a waitress struggled with a table for 8 and a table for 6 all wanting individual bills and then forming a long queue at the till to pay.

When we go out with other people, one person pays the bill and the others settle up with them or with one couple we both pay alternate lunches. Surely if you can all afford to go out for a meal, a pound or two each way is not going to bankrupt you.

sodapop Mon 13-Aug-18 06:47:24

We have recently had a meal out with friends, as usual they had the cash to pay only for what they had ordered. These are the same people who often call asking us to do jobs or errands which involve travel and for which there is no offer of payment.
It is not a big thing just irritating as they are considerably better off than we are. It would be nice if they just paid half once in a while or even offered to pay the whole bill.

M0nica Mon 13-Aug-18 09:17:05

sodapop, now you know why they are better off than you, they are spongers.

cherrypicker Mon 13-Aug-18 11:19:40

Was out with different friends this weekend for a meal. One had a steak which was considerably more expensive than what anyone else had. They insisted on paying the difference. Everyone was happy

cherrypicker Mon 13-Aug-18 11:21:43

I agree Monica about if it's a pound or two each way. But if you have something much more (for example £10 more) it's only fair you at least offer to cover the fact you have spent much more. I always do. Sometimes people take the extra, sometimes not but the fact is to acknowledge that you are trying to do the fair thing for all

sodapop Mon 13-Aug-18 17:28:10

That's true MOnica my husband is much more laid back about this sort of thing though and will continue to help wherever he can. I can't complain about him being kind can I ?

Day6 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:49:40

I do dislike meanness of any sort, but the ladies I dine out with regularly always recognise the designated driver doesn't drink, and goes out of her way to pick us up and drop us off after a night out. We pay for our own meals splitting the cost of a bottle of wine or other alcoholic drinks between the drinkers. We also, between us, buy the soft drinks for whoever drives. It seems the fairest way. One friend always has a liqueur coffee after her meal and doesn't expect it to be added to the total. It can get messy if you don't have a fair system for paying on group night outs.

OH is very generous and if we take friends staying with us out for a meal he insists on paying. Sadly, we have some old friends, one couple, who never, ever reciprocate, even though they have good incomes and a wealthy lifestyle. Last time we stayed with them we went out to a lovely restaurant and at the end of the meal he made it fairly clear OH would pay half of the cost. I was mortified but the 'friend' didn't flinch and neither did his wife. OH and I had a good old chin-wag about it afterwards but he says he won't change. Most of our friends are equally as generous, which is lovely. (I might not be so hasty in inviting that particular couple to stay again, perhaps.)

Tweedle24 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:51:54

I hate what I call, “pushing pennies around the table”. I agree with those who say the method of paying needs to be agreed before ordering.