MIL painted my house whilst I was in hospital

Grannyknot so are you privy to information the rest don't have or do you think I'm so stupid that I need to have it pointed out to me that every story has several versions.

So there were three adults in the house - presumably one was your husband. So why does your MIL get the blame for not feeding the children ? Just wondering why everything is her fault ?

And frankly, six hours isn't going to kill anyone. Lunch at 12, dinner at 6, it's not the end of the world.

I would be very cranky if I had to wait 6 hours for food.

Hi flexiblefriend no I don't think you're stupid. I was responding in a general sense to you saying the OP is not being unreasonable, because I don't think we can ever really know whether someone is being unreasonable or not on the strength of what they say on a forum.

I've never really understood that AIBU heading, I gather it migrated from Mumsnet.

So please ignore me. I probably wouldn't have posted on this thread, if I wasn't so bored today.

As you were.

Oh grannyknot I wasn’t looking for trouble, more of a ‘is this a thing people do’ check, especially regarding gloss paint in cupboards....!!!

I am sure MIL had a reason and I will find it out (and enlighten everyone) in due course.

Honestly I really am more upset about the meals thing. I know baggs is dead right and no real harm done, but, well, it’s not nice to be stuck in hospital and finding out your weans are not being fed!!

Have arrived home at last and seen the handiwork in person lol.

It’s magnolia. And patchy - its one coat emulsion over a darker eggshell and hasn't covered well. No one will die. I will dig out my beloved Farrow & Ball paint chart in a couple weeks and decide what is replacing it in due course. Sooner than I had planned to decide but carpe diem and all that . Will take suggestions! Big space, lots of light, dining kitchen with living area.

It’s mostly the big built in kitchen cupboards that got the worst of it - full glossed inside. Not dry yet amd I doubt the MDF shelves were primed first The actual units have been mostly spared, thank god, although the insides of the doors (the backs of the unit doors, if that makes sense?) have been glossed?

I think I can probably clean the insides of the units off - votes for yes or no? It’s not dried properly so I think Flash and some scrubbies will take it off. I will leave the big cupboards alone as it looks like it will dry.

I’ve got the dinner on so that’s handled!

Mostly I’m just so glad to be home.

My vote would be to leave it to dry properly now, muffin. I think trying to scrub it off might just lead to a sticky mess.

I would just smile, say thank you, and move on. Your husband was presumably in the house. If he didn't ask her not to paint the kitchen she presumably thought she was being helpful.

I am with all those who said what the hell was your DH doing while all this ignoring of unfed children and painting was going on?

Me too Greyduster

Why blame the MIL if the children went without food and she felt it OK to spruce up the kitchen - even if it isn't to your taste. I am sure she did it with the best of intentions. However, if DH was around, it was up to him to sort out the kids and to ensure MIL wasn't doing anything to the house you wouldn't like.

He does have a back-bone, I assume? They are HIS children too and their welfare was HIS duty and concern.

He needs a bollocking, not your in laws, imo.

Yeah, that’s kind of the thing.

I know we are going to have to have the “sooo umm, why did your mum paint the kitchen” discussion, that will be enough grief for the week.

The only reason he’s mentioned so far is “because she wanted to paint the kitchen” but ummm I feel like I would like a slightly more detailed explanation.

I mean the kids would also like to paint the walls but nevertheless I prevent them.

Being positive - if she has applied a first coat it may just make your repaint slightly easier!
You are doing well to tackle things as you are. Avoiding fretting as far as possible will help maintain your own health. Your wee ones must be delighted that mummy is home so please enjoy them. Your pregnancy is obviously being well monitored so try to relax if you possibly can.
Yours,
Pollyanna!

its horrible, they /she massively overstepped the mark. Get a professional in to sort it.

muffin I have to say you come over as someone with a level of patience that has to be admired. Your MIL had no right to pain t your kitchen but what your DH was up to during this time is beyond me. Glad you're home ok.

Would you feel the same if someone came and badly painted your kitchen. I agree it’s probably with the best of intentions but it’s not her place

I would be absolutely incandescent with rage! Good for you to be so laid back (ish) about it!

WTF was you husband doing while this woman decided to take it upon herself to decorate what is, after all his home too?

You are a better woman than me, muffin, I would definitely be putting on my bottom kicking boots and applying them to both DH and his mother!

Get a professional decorator to come in, repaint the kitchen and send MIL the bill.

Muffin I suggest scrubbing out cupboards, however ghastly is not a wise thing to do in a delicate pregnancy. DS 1 arrived two weeks early because I was scraping paint off the glass of newly painted windows. Apparently it was all the bending and stretching! to you

I wouldn't try to undo the painting while it's still wet and you are newly out of hospital. Let it dry and sort it out later but I've never heard of anyone painting inside cupboards with gloss paint - has she done this in her own home? It's definitely a bit odd. I'm sure the kids were fine - had anyone mentioned they'd complained of being hungry - were they 'helping' granny with the decorating perhaps and everyone forgot the time?

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, so the old saying goes, Day6!

I think I'd get a decorators advice about the insides of the cupboards. They may have a magic potion that would get the paint off.

Please look after yourself muffin - and try to keep your BP down for your own sake and that of the baby.

Yes, get a decorator's advice, choose some nice Farrow and Ball paint to go over the magnolia and get hi/her to come in and do it. Your DH will pay the bill and perhaps retrieve the money from his mother. As for the insides of the cupboards, they may be best left to dry but a decorator will advise.
At least magnolia makes a good starting base for another colour
What numpty would do that except on a very old kitchen …..

him/her

I completely agree with phoenix and would also do what Chewbacca suggests.

Well if you weren't pregnant and the gloss isn't dry Turps should shift it. Other than that when it's dry Nitromors paint remover is brilliant stuff, comes off in strips. Perhaps your Husband and Mil would like to do it as recompense.

...I’ve had a text from FIL. Didn’t think he had my number but no matter.

Text apologises and asks me to “have grace and forgiveness” for DH and MIL as they were “under great emotional stress”.

I will read between the lines and assume from long knowledge of them both that this was some madcap coping mechanism.

I will also assume FIL is texting because he tried to dissuade them.

I still think it’s a pretty freaky thing to have done but clearly DH okayed it, which obviously means MIL is not responsible. It is his house too.

I mean I’m still not pleased and also he is definitely being asked to clean off the backs of the unit doors because that is weird and ugly, but.... is this really the hill I want to die on in my current state?

I haven’t answered FIL’s text yet, I’m thinking of what I should say. Advice welcomed.

DH is not a coper under emotional stress. Not expressing this as a criticism but as an acknowledged difficulty.

Oh, and YOU weren't under "great emotional stress"?

I've quite often been under "great emotional stress" but it has never led to me going around randomly painting people's kitchens!

It sounds as if your DH has been bulldozed all his life and doesn't know how to stand up to his mother muffin.