He chucked my stuff out!!

Firstly, I'm sorry that you've had a lot on your plate recently and I hope you have people you can talk you through it and give ongoing support
Secondly, I think that your anger re the dog-bed is partly fuelled by your angst at losing your mother, which is natural.
Have you got a dog and does it have a new bed? If so, I can see that having 2 in a small space might be unworkable.
I think the crux of the matter is your recent bereavement and you can see that as a double loss because of a well loved mother...and the loss of an item which became a familiar part of your home.
Men often don't get attached to items in the home, not like we women. Forgive him and explain the loss to you, was more than just a tatty dog bed.
Be kind to yourself and good wishes going forward.

You could be projecting your feelings about your Mum onto the dog bed - the feelings of loss, and naturally blaming DH.

If he's apologised try and put it behind you. And buy a new dog bed!

Not sure this is about the be but maybe about the lack of respect/care for your wishes that ou had expressed. I do think your sadness over your Mum might be making this seem so important at the moment though. I would leave for a little while and then discuss with him why he thought it was ok to ignore your express wishes and how to avoid such a situation arising again.

So sorry about your loss.
If the dog bed was truly shredded, better to get a new one anyway. I’m also guilty of quietly chucking out stuff from the house when no one is looking.

thanks for that all, it has been such a help. the dogs rarely occupy all the beds, they're either on the sofa with us or or on our bed, they are much loved and have plenty of places for sleep & cuddles. It was very rude and insensitive of hubby, especially since I had suggested putting it in the garage. It was a fabric like a glorious old Sanderson style, and for the fabric addicts like myself, you can make something out of the tiniest scraps! Hubby will find himself presented with a large bill when I find a replacement, & if he does it again I will be moving out, I don't want to live with someone who cannot respect my space. He's just as bad with clutter and we have had a half finished kitchen floor tiling job, living with each others half finished jobs is just one of those things in a busy household I reckon. Thanks so much all!!

One clue F (have)

Jane10, POGS; Good Afternoon; batteries re-charged and raring to go! Reply from Bletchley Park to point out you made a critical error in attempting to assist, in that F should be pronounced "Eff, not "have". which combined with 9 (nein) conveys the pidgin German meaning better. Prove it by saying it out loud, with meaning!
That's what threw me.
I wasn't a Dill after all!

Oh Dear: Sorry about this. Really got my wires crossed. I've managed to copy it to its intended thread, but I may need assistance from HQ to remove this incriminating evidence, unless you're prepared to ignore it. I don't suppose you can throw it out with the rubbish?

I don't suppose you can throw it out with the rubbish?
Ooh, red rags etc Rufus !!

spabbygirl I would wait and see how it all settles down and how you feel later when you are not so emotional. If it's any consolation, DH moans about my 'rubbish' but his 'treasures' are all useful