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AIBU to want a new home and an expensive holiday?

(63 Posts)
HomeOrAway Wed 12-Sep-18 18:06:48

DH and I are in our early 60s, and thankfully we are reasonably fit and well. Several months ago, we booked a really exciting holiday for early January (a week in Lapland, complete with log cabin, husky sledging, snowmobiling etc, not to mention the possibility of the northern lights - just the two of us). It’s already an expensive trip, so we have opted for the cheaper early January time rather than Christmas or New Year. We’ve paid a £300 deposit, which we will lose if we cancel before the end of September, but if we cancel after that we will lose a lot more.

Since making the booking, my mother has become ill, and we have decided to move to her part of the country in order to give her more support (and maybe even care for her in our new home if it comes to that). So we now have the cost of the move to take into account, and all the related expenses like decorating, furnishing and so on. Technically we can still just about afford the holiday, but something seems very wrong about forking out that much on top of the move, and I don’t want us to suffer in the future as a result. On the other hand, we are now at the age where I have to question how much longer we will be able to do such things easily, so from that point of view I want to go ahead with the trip now. It has been going round and round in my head and I can’t come to a decision.

I realise that we are in a privileged position to even have the option, but we have worked very hard for our money over the years and we don’t spend on much else at all.

Would you throw caution to the wind and go, or be sensible and stay at home in the new house? I would really appreciate other points of view on this.

Eglantine21 Wed 12-Sep-18 18:18:58

I’ve never regretted the money Ive spent on travelling and new experiences. Never.

Anyway moving takes a long time if you’re buying and selling. You may not be there by January. Then you will sit in your old house wishing you were having fun!

I’d rather spend less money on the new house. You can always redecorate and refurnish some other time.

DoraMarr Wed 12-Sep-18 18:24:10

Go. You deserve to go, and if you find yourself having to care for your mother in the future you may not be able to plan holidays so easily. I am steadily working through my children’s inheritance planning holidays in the future, because my partner has PD and we may not be able to take many more together. Go, and enjoy yourselves, and don’t worry about the future.

OldMeg Wed 12-Sep-18 18:24:59


MissAdventure Wed 12-Sep-18 18:25:44

Go, go, GO!

notanan2 Wed 12-Sep-18 18:28:40

If you are going to be doing more caring you will NEED your holiday more than ever!

Go. Recharge your batteries. It'll set you up better for the move and the support you will be giving your mum

Jalima1108 Wed 12-Sep-18 18:30:40

£300 is a lot to lose!

Go and enjoy the holiday.

Do you have to buy new furniture or can you use some of the furnishings from your present house?

NfkDumpling Wed 12-Sep-18 18:35:39

Go!! No hesitation - go! Think of it as advance respite for the care you will be giving your mum. However easy she is to get along with, it’ll still be a hard work.

January isn’t so far away in house move terms and even if the move does clash, the internet and mobile phones mean you’ll still be in charge.

HomeOrAway Wed 12-Sep-18 18:39:00

Thanks all - you have brought real tears to my eyes telling me to go; it's probably what I would have said to someone else, and it's obviously what I wanted to hear! Extra information: We have found a house to buy and we sold our current house to the first people to view (how lucky was that?!). We have a move date in mid-October.

Synonymous Wed 12-Sep-18 18:40:38

Go! You don't know what is round the corner so grab your chances with both hands!

Jobey68 Wed 12-Sep-18 18:57:31

Absolutely go! My dad who is 79 always says once you get to an age when you have more years behind you than you do ahead then make sure every day counts!
Life can change on a penny and if you have the means to do things then don't hesitate, we are off to Majorca on Friday for our 3rd holiday this year, we are not wealthy flash people but we know what we like and we do it as often as possible!
Have a great time ?

Charleygirl Wed 12-Sep-18 18:57:32

I would go- it sounds as though you will be settled in your new house by the time you go on holiday. As others have said, you do not know what is around the corner and you can decorate your house at your leisure. Enjoy now as the pair of you are fairly fit.

Maggiemaybe Wed 12-Sep-18 19:37:02

Oh please go! Your holiday sounds fabulous and what memories you'll have. Just project yourselves forward a few years, looking back on your memories of 2019. What would you rather be remembering - those sleigh rides (and the Northern Lights, fingers crossed!), or choosing new cushions?

Scribbles Wed 12-Sep-18 19:42:51

Definitely, you should GO!! After the stress and hassle of moving, you will both need and deserve a holiday and yours sounds fabulous.

JudyJudy12 Wed 12-Sep-18 19:48:22

You must go, nobody knows what the future holds. Fabulous to have something to look forward to

midgey Wed 12-Sep-18 20:05:32

Go.....but be aware the northern lights are not reliable!

Eglantine21 Wed 12-Sep-18 20:10:38

But the huskies are! ???????

Jalima1108 Wed 12-Sep-18 20:11:29

Will Father Christmas still be there, or having a well-deserved rest?

Melanieeastanglia Wed 12-Sep-18 20:29:24

Only you and your husband know your true financial and health position.

If you think you can afford it, I agree with other people who say "Go" because no-one can see the future. Grasp life by the throat.

However, if you know in your heart of hearts going on an expensive holiday will make things hard for the future, you could perhaps compromise and go on a cheaper holiday which is still going to be very enjoyable.

Iam64 Wed 12-Sep-18 20:41:57

Go, don't hesitate, just Go. The next ten years are probably going to be the period when you're young enough and fit enough to enjoy travel and special holidays.
Have a wonderful time.

DanniRae Wed 12-Sep-18 20:46:15


Nannarose Wed 12-Sep-18 21:35:33

I think it depends on how much you'll be able to enjoy the holiday. If it was me, the stress of organising the move, the worry etc. would leave me less able to enjoy it. I would let the £300 go, but set the rest aside, and when all settled, book another holiday. This would also be a chance to ensure that mum can manage with carers going in, another relative coming to stay, or something similar.
Just another point of view!

Thebeeb Wed 12-Sep-18 21:42:47

Definitely GO GO GO.

cornergran Wed 12-Sep-18 22:27:59

If you and your husband are accepting of the overall cost (as you were when you booked the holiday) then go. The holiday won’t get cheaper and who knows what tomorrow brings with health. It sounds as if your Mum is fairly independent at the moment and your move is more about the future than her needs now, so go with a light heart while she can cope and you both are able. Regrets tend to be about what we didn’t do, rather than what we did. Enjoy smile.

NotAGran55 Wed 12-Sep-18 22:44:40

If it’s with Canterbury Travel then definitely go ! We had an incredible week with them in Luosto .