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AIBU

AIBU to want a new home and an expensive holiday?

(64 Posts)
HomeOrAway Wed 12-Sep-18 18:06:48

DH and I are in our early 60s, and thankfully we are reasonably fit and well. Several months ago, we booked a really exciting holiday for early January (a week in Lapland, complete with log cabin, husky sledging, snowmobiling etc, not to mention the possibility of the northern lights - just the two of us). It’s already an expensive trip, so we have opted for the cheaper early January time rather than Christmas or New Year. We’ve paid a £300 deposit, which we will lose if we cancel before the end of September, but if we cancel after that we will lose a lot more.

Since making the booking, my mother has become ill, and we have decided to move to her part of the country in order to give her more support (and maybe even care for her in our new home if it comes to that). So we now have the cost of the move to take into account, and all the related expenses like decorating, furnishing and so on. Technically we can still just about afford the holiday, but something seems very wrong about forking out that much on top of the move, and I don’t want us to suffer in the future as a result. On the other hand, we are now at the age where I have to question how much longer we will be able to do such things easily, so from that point of view I want to go ahead with the trip now. It has been going round and round in my head and I can’t come to a decision.

I realise that we are in a privileged position to even have the option, but we have worked very hard for our money over the years and we don’t spend on much else at all.

Would you throw caution to the wind and go, or be sensible and stay at home in the new house? I would really appreciate other points of view on this.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 14-Sep-18 17:44:40

go, go, go. You will regret fit if you dont.

Shazmo24 Fri 14-Sep-18 18:05:44

Just go or you will feel resentful towards the move & may even towards your mum.
You don't know when you will have the opportunity to do another trip so just go & enjoy

Apricity Fri 14-Sep-18 18:59:48

Go and enjoy the trip. Don't feel guilty, think of the trip as a reward for being such a caring couple that you were prepared to move to a new area to look after and support your mother. Hopefully you will be reasonably settled in your new house by the time you leave. You can't guarantee seeing the Northern Lights (I was unlucky on my attempts) but the trip sounds amazing. You will always regret it if you don't go and it's only a week. Bon voyage.

Stella14 Fri 14-Sep-18 21:26:02

I completely agree with Eglantine21. Travelling is wonderful and worth every penny to me. Hubby and I enjoy reminiscing about past trips. The memories so good. I say, go, and have a wonderful time 🙂

graninthemist Sat 15-Sep-18 08:11:17

We are in the same boat as you because my husband has PD, and we have holidays booked into next year because we still have places to see. Hope you can keep travelling too.😊

graninthemist Sat 15-Sep-18 08:25:40

Me again. Four years ago we had a holiday booked with Canterbury travel to go to Lapland at Christmas with our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter. Disaster struck a few days before departure: I was admitted to hospital with suspected bowel cancer, and my husband and I were forced to cancel. After some exploratory surgery, I was told the day before we were due to leave that I could travel after all, and my husband and the travel agent pulled out all the stops to make it happen. What a wonderful time we had: unforgettable! No Northern lights as there was too much light pollution, but a truly magical holiday. Please go and enjoy.😊

wondergran Sat 15-Sep-18 10:55:21

Go and have a wonderful time....you have lots of stress ahead with the move and caring for your mother so go and recharge your batteries while you can; it may not be so easy to do in the years ahead.

Bijou Sat 15-Sep-18 12:17:18

Go . My husband and I spent money on camping and caravanning rather than the house. After he died I went on coach holidays until arthritis stopped me. My home is shabby but I have a comfortable chair and bed and pleased that I travelled whilst could.

annep Sat 15-Sep-18 14:30:09

Go...while you can! No one knows the future. I have left it too late to do some things. ( incidentally pretty sure carers allowance is means tested- someone mentioned it)
Hope you have a lovely time.

pensionpat Sat 15-Sep-18 16:58:40

Neither Attendance Allowance (claimed by the person with health condition) nor Carers Allowance is means tested. Although if you are in receipt of a state pension you can’t claim Carers Allowance.

CW52 Sat 15-Sep-18 21:52:08

Please GO! It’s the most amazing experience and one you will never forget. It’s your life and you/we never know how long we have left. 🙄 (I can provide many examples if you need them 😳).

annep Sat 15-Sep-18 22:33:00

Pensionpat I'm pretty sure if you earn over £120 pw you won't get it.

GabriellaG Sun 16-Sep-18 00:53:07

Why didn't you consider moving your mother up to your area, possibly moving in with you? Then she could sell her house and perhaps you could convert your garage or add an extension at a later date, after your holiday. Meantime, your mother could rent an assisted living property near to you so that she has some help for the week you are away.
It saves you buying new furniture (don't you have any to take with you?) and the aggro of selling your home and buying another in a short window of time.