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Reading other people’s greetings cards

(95 Posts)
vickymeldrew Wed 16-Jan-19 04:40:33

Last week I celebrated a ‘significant birthday’ and received many lovely cards. Yesterday, a dear friend came round to lunch and whilst we were talking, admired the cards. She then proceeded, without asking, to pick each one up and read the messages on them. I was embarrassed that she would do this as there were personal declarations of love from my husband and daughter. I have to say that my friend has a outgoing and open personality and is very popular. Is it okay to read other people’s cards or am I being over-sensitive?

luluaugust Wed 16-Jan-19 10:40:05

If you choose to put them out on display surely you can't really object to family reading them, I find this happens a lot with Christmas cards, rest of the family catching up with cards from family friends sent to me, I have no problem with that. Must admit I would find it a bit odd if friends rifled through them. Likewise if you don't want your bank statement looked at put it away. Old friends who are a bit like extra family do sometimes get it wrong I am sure she was just enjoying your birthday with you part of which was apparently reading your cards.

Telly Wed 16-Jan-19 10:41:26

I do it with relatives ie DD etc. but I can't imagine reading anyone elses. But she is a close friend so i would not let it bother you. As from the responses here a lot of people do, and I can't really see an issue.

Pat1949 Wed 16-Jan-19 10:42:43

I wouldn't do it, but I know some people do, but I don't understand why reading other people's birthday card would be of any interest to anyone. I once had a friend who used to look at my calendar, she probably knew more about my appointments than I did myself. I always found myself moving any calendars, letters, cards etc. before she arrived.

mabon1 Wed 16-Jan-19 10:58:42

I would not read other people's cards f they were displaed,, but if you decide to do so .....................

glammagran Wed 16-Jan-19 11:01:13

Nanagem That’s unbelievable!!! shock

EllanVannin Wed 16-Jan-19 11:06:10

I couldn't do that in anyone's house regardless of how friendly I was with the occupant/s. Admire them but don't touch------which applies to everything else in someone else's home.

helenmabr Wed 16-Jan-19 11:09:29

Gosh, maybe this is a family thing, in my family, parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, friends etc always look at each other’s cards, laugh at the funny ones etc. I always thought this is why people exhibit them. Isn’t the displaying of them the key thing? Would never read other mail, never heard of anyone minding them being looked at before.

Nanny41 Wed 16-Jan-19 11:14:34

Havent ever thought of it.In the country where we live they never put out cards, I wouldnt read them if they did.

Hm999 Wed 16-Jan-19 11:28:30

No I wouldn't read other people's messages out loud. Actually I would just admire the fronts, and not read the insides at all.

Riggie Wed 16-Jan-19 11:33:26

I'm with you, vickymeldrew. It's something I would never do and would not expect any one else to do!!

Theoddbird Wed 16-Jan-19 11:37:18

I would not dream of reading birthday cards on display if I was visiting a friends house. Damn rude of her I say. I would say that anyone who picks up and reads personal cards is rude.

curlilox Wed 16-Jan-19 11:45:51

I wouldn't dream of reading another person's cards unless invited to do so.

curlilox Wed 16-Jan-19 11:47:57

Sorry, posted too soon. Same as I wouldn't pick up a private letter and read it if it was lying around in view.

Rachand Wed 16-Jan-19 11:52:09

How British! They are only birthday cards, a part of a celebration not hush hush secret documents!

Shinyredcar Wed 16-Jan-19 11:55:27

But if they are humorous, how do you find out the punch line? I wouldn't dream that I was expected to ask permission!

Mapleleaf Wed 16-Jan-19 12:09:18

It’s not something I do (read inside them), but my sil does (birthday cards, not Xmas cards). I used to find it a bit odd, but am used to it now!

grannyactivist Wed 16-Jan-19 12:16:12

I started to reply and explain that I receive a lot of cards and so I keep a couple of pretty ribbons strung up in the hall to display them, then it it occurred to me that I had forgotten to take down the Christmas cards from there! I've just done it now. blush

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if friends or family read my cards, but in order to do so they would have to take them off the line or tilt their heads sideways to read them. Before Christmas there were cards saying Thank You, Thinking of You, New Granddaughter etc. - all fairly innocuous and most say on the front what they're for. I would occasionally read cards in my children's homes and at my parents-in-law's home if there were a special occasion, especially if it was under discussion. So for example last year my father-in-law won a very prestigious award and received many cards that were put out on display. I can't honestly remember, but I assume I would have said, 'May I?' before reading them.

It really wouldn't be a big deal for me, but then I don't display cards that I wouldn't want read, cards from clients for example.

icbn2802 Wed 16-Jan-19 12:19:31

I've never given it any thought. I always put cards on display. What's so private or intrusive in birthday wishes? Not fazed at all by who looks through them. If I didn't like it I wouldn't display them.....

Jaycee5 Wed 16-Jan-19 12:25:48

I wouldn't do it at a friend's house. I might at a close relatives or someone I knew very well. I don't think that you can really complain though if they are on display.

knspol Wed 16-Jan-19 12:26:45

Would never do it, I admire cards from a distance but wouldn't dream of reading them. Personal messages are exactly that, personal. Any cards with special messages I receive are kept in my bedroom and not on general display.

Abigailmckd Wed 16-Jan-19 12:30:16

I would say she meant no harm just nosey.probably did it without thinking.she will think what a lovely family you have.vicky meldrew

Mycatisahacker Wed 16-Jan-19 12:30:18

Your post made me laugh op because my dad does this and I always think it’s very rude and drives me silently mad. grin

I think it’s as rude as reading someone’s letters who just appear to b around.

youngagain Wed 16-Jan-19 12:32:13

I would find it very rude of anyone other than close family to pick up my cards and read them. Even if they are on display, they are my cards, in my home and displayed for my enjoyment, not for everyone to read. Sorry, but I find this unacceptable and wouldn't dream of doing it in someone else's home.

Maggiemaybe Wed 16-Jan-19 12:43:44

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

Aepgirl Wed 16-Jan-19 12:47:34

I can’t see your problem. Just be proud that people say nice things about you.