the man upstairs

If the neighbour was a gentleman he would sit to pee late at night. Total disregard of your surroundings is anti-social. My second home is a flat built 20+years ago and we still get a lot of noise, cupboard doors and TVs etc.

One flat I lived in had an insomniac exercise freak neighbour - god knows what she did - thumps & bangs & rhythmic heavy footsteps. I found an app for my phone which deadens most things with nice sounds like waves on the beach, forest streams, rainfall, train, white noise etc (you can mix & match) It kills most things if you can sleep comfortably with earbuds in. Good luck

If he’s slightly deaf he will do everything loudly and even if you tell him he probably won’t realise he’s still being loud. Sponge ear plugs put in correctly are comfortable and completely soundproof. I have reptiles that eat crickets and the little sods make noise after dark so I use the plugs. Detached house and no one else hears it.

I don't think you can reasonably complain about the sound of everyday living. However embarrassing you find it, plenty of flats are so badly soundproofed that you can hear everything that goes on in the bathroom and bedroom!

The only way you can tackle the problem is by asking your neighbour how much sound carries from your flat to his.

His answer may well be that he never hears you at all, as he is upstairs and sounds in flats seem to go downwards rather than upwards.

If you like, you could mention that you feel you are hearing things that don't concern you as you can hear his side of telephone conversations quite clearly.

If you feel he is shouting on the phone, he is probably hard of hearing and doesn't realise that he is talking so loudly and clomping around.

He might take the hint and talk more quietly, but human anatomy being what it is the sound of men weeing is always louder than that of women and really, apart from keeping your bathroom door shut, I don't think you can do anything about that.

There should be restrictions on flats having solid wood or laminate flooring. Should only be allowed in kitchens and bathrooms. New build properties are a nightmare regarding soundproofing. My house is 9nyears old and at times I feel the floors are made of egg boxes with no soundproofing. Thought older properties would be better unless conversion to flats has caused the problem. Check the condition attached to the properties there may well be something restricting hard floors.

Get a watering can and a stool into your bathroom. Wait till he's finished his pee and settled back into bed. Empty the watering can into the toilet from as great a height as you can manage, pausing expectantly halfway through.

After a few times of doing this, his curiosity would get the better of him and he'll approach you.
Speak quietly to him when he does, so you'll know how deaf he is, if at all.
If all else fails, do what I did in desperation and play the call to prayer or Koran reading. It worked for me and the inconsiderate family upstairs soon showed that they could live less noisily if they wanted to.

To be honest if you choose to live in a flat like we did years ago then you have to be tolerant of neighbors as soundproofing is not great always
I think on a positive note it must be a comfort to hear people nearby.
The noises will become less fluid and you probably won’t hear them as time goes by

How would he be expected to pee quietly? If he is aged, he might talk loudly because he might have hearing issues. Talking to him will embarrass him, and cause a problem between neighbours. If you bought this property, the person who sold it would know of these problems. If the house is owned by a landlord, you could approach him, to talk about sound proofing your ceiling and his floor. Good luck, hope you come to an amicable resolution.

Sure you're not going deaf MissA?

I'm starting to wonder about that myself with our new neighbours. A lovely young couple who are out at work all day, but we never, ever hear them when they're in. I have no idea how they do it. Our last neighbours were fine, but we did hear normal sounds of life occasionally......

Not that I'm complaining, by the way!

Many men can be heard pee-ing - suspect its to do with height of fall of urine stream!
To the men whom we can discuss this with I suggest trying-
Closure of bathroom door.
Placing toilet paper in toilet pre either type of elimination.
Ideally - aim at the back of the pan.
Hopefully they will feel ‘flushed’ with duccess st reducing THAT type of noise, anyway.

My daughter swears by sound machines!

nankate ditto!

It's very interesting how sound travels - I can hear people upstairs but nothing from the adjacent griound-floor flat.

I believe with new builds there is a clause in the lease that forbids wooden flooring higher than ground floor.

If they pee down the china at the lowest level noise is vastly reduced. They are v difficult to train though, I have been trying unsuccessfully with DH for 52 years.

Wilygran
Are these Bose Sleepbuds that you use to drown out
the noise from neighbour above you?
I had to buy these after an new noisy neighbour moved
into the flat above ours, he always had the tv on till late, and as our bedroom was below his sitting room I really
struggled to get to sleep.
They really have helped and I can choose the different sounds to drown out his noise.

When I lived in Switzerland we had to comply with many strange byelaws, one of which was "after 10pm gentlemen must urinate sitting down". Sounds like the Swiss had the right idea.

Humptydumpty I’m on the fifth floor in a ten year old apartment and I have wooden flooring. I can’t hear any noise from the flat above, and the people below me can’t hear anything from my flat either. It all depends on the insulation. I think it would be very embarrassing to approach this poor gentleman about his bathroom noise, he is not being deliberately antisocial. Just put some music on and try not to get worked up about it. I used to live near a railway line and soon got used to the sound of trains. I wonder what he can hear from your flat?

Honestly, how many minutes of a day is spent piddling? (Rhetorical question!)
A couple of minutes, even if it was 20 times a day isn't that long.

Just move as soon as you can.

Bizzle: I do feel very sorry for you. He would probably ignore you if you spoke. It might be that he will do worse now he knows you are upset by it. Best to say nothing because that could start a row. Since 1995 my next door neighbour has done a lot of things and I have ignored him and not spoken and each year he gets worse, hoping I will do something. Turning the other cheek is hard and painful but best, I think. do you have central heating pipes and radiators? The sound might be travelling along the pipes and echoing. If it is, then sound proofing the walls and ceiling might not be effective.

After reading all this I am wondering whether I should sell my house after all!! My health is poor and my daughter one and a half hours away and I really would love to move, but this house is so quiet. I cannot hear any noise and no one complains about my noise either. The house is detached and set back from the other houses in the row and is the end of a cul-de-sac, so that my house front starts where the other houses end. It might be that is the reason or perhaps my neighbours trees that are damaging my gutters and fascias muffle sound. We built an extension to live downstairs and this sits between the gardens of two rows of houses - if you get my drift! I do, however get noise travelling through water pipes - my own, so it is possible that the op could do something to deaden sound?

oh my gosh was curious bout the "Bose sleep buds" the price!

It is annoying when you move and then discover the irritations of neighbours/ local sounds. however I think it is hard to expect people to limit their normal daily life. If it was partying, practising trombone in the early hours etc. that is different but normal living noises?
We moved from a busy London road with night buses to a house that is very close to a station. We are not bothered by train noises..but in the summer I do get tired of regularly being told to carry a bottle of water with me!

I was too bikergran, had never heard of them and they are eye wateringly expensive, but cheaper than soundproofing I'm thinking. I was wondering how comfortable they are to wear because I roll around a lot at night?