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the man upstairs

(119 Posts)
b1zzle Tue 22-Jan-19 12:09:20

Ever since I have lived in the ground floor flat of an old house ( few months) the last sound I hear at night is the gentleman in the flat above me peeing. Ditto on waking up. It sounds like a horse relieving itself! He's late 60s or early 70s and everything he does is loud: talks on the phone (I can hear every word); moves furniture round (all the time) and stomps rather than walks. I've tried moving my bed round the bedroom but there's no escaping the noise of either his bathroom antics; stamping feet or marathon telephone shouting. Should I be brave and try to talk to him?

Margs Wed 23-Jan-19 11:02:00

Erm...........he isn't peeing on the floor, is he?

dbDB77 Wed 23-Jan-19 11:03:15

Soundproofing is worth investigating - old houses often have high ceilings & room for a suspended ceiling packed with soundproofing material.
It must be very difficult & you won't want to cause dispute. This thread has made me rethink my vague plan for when/if I can't manage stairs & need to move - I'd thought a flat would be a good idea - but reading posts I'm not so sure now.

MissAdventure Wed 23-Jan-19 11:05:06

There really cannot be any dispute if a person is making normal household noises, which he is.
It works on a live and let live basis.

chris8888 Wed 23-Jan-19 11:08:07


DoraMarr Wed 23-Jan-19 11:13:47

dbDB77 don’t dismiss a flat. Mine is a purpose- built ten year old flat with excellent insulation and soundproofing. I live on the corner of two main roads, and am never disturbed by traffic noise. I don’t hear my neighbours either. I moved here because I wanted something future- proof. There is a lift if I don’t want to use the stairs, a walk- in shower in one of the bathrooms, a secure entry, and 24 hour concierge service. I have never felt so comfortable and so safe!

wellwalked Wed 23-Jan-19 11:15:20

I can hear my neighbour's phlemn clearance each morning; I'm sure they can hear my farts...

Izabella Wed 23-Jan-19 11:17:04

Blzzle it sounds from your description that he has a good stream. It could be worse if he was up and down all night with dribbles 😉

newnanny Wed 23-Jan-19 11:26:20

It is obviously normal noise and not deliberate. I don't see what you can do except use ear plugs. The poor man can't stop using the toilet.grin

humptydumpty Wed 23-Jan-19 11:27:30

I've been told that flat conversions in old houses are the worst for noise; certainly my previous flat (the basement of an Edwardian house) was far worse (I could even hear objects being dropped on the floor above me) than the 1960 maisonette I now live in (touch wood! - it may just be that I've been lucky with the upstairs tenants).

Soundproofing regs came in a few years ago for new-builds, the drawback is that the room height will be much reduced to allow for this.

breeze Wed 23-Jan-19 11:27:52

If he were holding weekly loud parties I would complain but it's not his fault the building hasn't got sufficient sound proofing so his everyday activities are heard.

You have some choices I guess. Earplugs. Move. If you own the property and can afford it, get some soundproofing. If it's rented you could ask the landlord if they will pay for soundproofing.

I wouldn't speak to him though. Think how you would feel if you were made to feel uncomfortable about your everyday life in your own home. He has to use the toilet, he has to walk about and he has to talk to people and put his tv on.

DIL17 Wed 23-Jan-19 11:33:11

Welcome to the reality of living in a flat!

trendygran Wed 23-Jan-19 11:57:41

How I sympathise with you. I live in a first floor apartment in a modern block of 23 . When I first moved in a young couple upstairs complained that my TV was too loud and away stopping them sitting in their living room above mine. I moved my TV away from the window,as they said that was how the noise was disturbing them. If the y thought it too loud they did bang on their floor.Thankfully they have moved on and a very nice lady lives there. I still hear a lot of noise from there because there is no soundproofing. If her washer is on it sounds almost as loud as when mine is on. This was also a problem from the start. I can hear every move across the floor ,but thankfully not too much from the bathrooms. I hope you are able to sort out your problem as it sounds even worse than usual in flats.

RosieLeah Wed 23-Jan-19 11:58:25

Some people are noisy, some people are quiet. Problems arise when you get a noisy person living close to a quiet one. I live in a flat, and I can hear constant banging from downstairs.. every time they open a cupboard or drawer, they bang it...every time they walk through a door, they bang it. They have carpets and so do I but it doesn't seem to help. I have lived next to people who played loud music all day, so I'm just grateful they don't do that!

Jinty44 Wed 23-Jan-19 12:03:17

It sounds as if the problem is less your neighbour and more the building and its lack of sound insulation. Whilst some noise would be muffled by carpets, that's never going to sort out that you can hear him peeing (carpet in a loo - eew).

If the noise is intolerable, you're looking at either installing sound insulation or moving. Sorry.

MissAdventure Wed 23-Jan-19 12:04:50

I had a really noisy family living above me for a good few years.
It was awful, but it wasn't deliberate; they just were loud people, with loud voices, who liked loud music and played loud games with their loud toddler (who didn't sleep at night) smile
I have the quietest couple ever now. Even their baby cries in a subdued manner.

Lazigirl Wed 23-Jan-19 12:11:14

Presumably you chose the flat because it suited your needs and you like the area. It would be cheaper to install soundproofing than move (that's if you own it).

lilihu Wed 23-Jan-19 12:17:15

I really don’t think confronting the elderly gentleman could possibly help. The next phone conversation you overhear may be along the lines of “ Ther’s a weird lady downstairs suggesting I don’t walk, talk or pee”
In my early twenties I lived in a flat below a deaf gentleman. Eventually I tuned the constant noises out. Although the theme tune to Starsky and Hutch still makes me wince. He used to come home from the pub and switch his TV (Video?) on at a very loud volume, usually five minutes after I’d dropped off to sleep.

Gonegirl Wed 23-Jan-19 12:20:58

I think if he put some toilet paper in the loo first it would be quieter.

Good luck with asking him to do that.

sarahellenwhitney Wed 23-Jan-19 12:39:14

Blizzle I recall my late mother having the same issue as yourself and hers was a rented flat in a relatively new building. My mother was deaf so it did not bother her but it did me when I used to visit her for a few days.
If the flat belongs to yourself and you like living there, and this is just a suggestion, why not consider having some expert advice on interior soundproofing which will not affect your neighbours as it can be done inside your own property. If rented then speak to the owner of your flat.

breeze Wed 23-Jan-19 12:42:13

Sure you're not going deaf MissA grin

MissAdventure Wed 23-Jan-19 12:47:31

I am, actually.
Just had my aids fitted last month. smile
Every cloud has a silver lining, I guess!

Bandit Wed 23-Jan-19 12:50:31

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DotMH1901 Wed 23-Jan-19 13:23:42

Swopping your rooms around (if you can) sounds like a good move. We bought a modern semi detached many years ago and the next door bathroom was next to our bedroom - the walls were so thin you could hear everything every time someone went to the toilet. Luckily our bathroom was at the back and on the outside wall so hopefully we disturbed no one! We looked into buying sound insulating wallboards but, as it happened, DH was given a job transfer so we sold and moved before doing anything about it.

NanKate Wed 23-Jan-19 13:37:19

From this title I thought you meant GOD 🙂

Solitaire Wed 23-Jan-19 13:38:00

My next door neighbours 3 dogs bark continuously all day while they're at work. I have the radio in to try and drown them out.
I remember the airline pilot prosecuted for drowning his neighbour's barking dog and I can empathise !!