Son & DIL are making me sad with unfair expectations.

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Day6. You speak very good sense! just had to agree with every word you said! Thanks.

mcem. Oh dear! It often is! One can but try.....

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I notice that Lavazza1st hasn't responded

All I could find on a quick search was this:

Traditionally, Chinese parents are supposed to buy a house for their son before his marriage.

from www.quora.com/Traditionally-Chinese-parents-are-supposed-to-buy-a-house-for-their-son-before-his-marriage-Is-that-reasonable

But remember, Chinese children, traditionally, are expected to obey their parents without question....

Just noticed, in the OP it was stated that they expect Lavazza1st to look after the child while they work, yet the son hasn't managed to find a job yet!

Tilly it is very difficult to tell, but possible indications, and they are only possible, are an OP, who starts a thread and never returns to it. an OP that is a bit short on detail, or contradictory or an OP who reposts to make the plot even more tangled - but a thread can have all these doubtful features and still be absolutely genuine.

It really is very difficult to tell.

OP has just started another thread about the milk baby milk!

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When DDs were very young they tried to tell me that all their friends stayed up late, sat in the front seat of the car and had unlimited pocket money. Didn't believe that either.

Thanks for your response, yes I feel that it's his responsibility and although he has tried every manipulation and guilt trick to get me to provide all sorts of full time child care (I work for a living!) and clothes, nappies etc I feel it's his responsibility too.

Of course it's genuine! I am really concerned for my Grandson but didn't realise anyone had answered this until I was criticied on my other post! LOLZ
I only registered on Gransnet YESTERDAY so forgive me if I seem a bit dumb. No doubt I'll get familiar with it soon enough (unfortunate that I even need to)

Yeah and I am really struggling with this nonsense situation and I didn't need all the flak. I just want what is best for my Grandson and to keep some sanity!

Lavazza, hi and welcome to Gransnet. You've had quite a lot of replies to your OP and some of them asked you to clarify some points.
When you have time to read through them all and answer a few, I'm sure that you will get more advise.
You've now explained on another thread that they arrived from China only two weeks ago.
Why did they leave China and what plans did they have?
It seems to me that your Dil being an translator would be very employable. What kind of work was your Ds in while in China?

Lavazza1st
It isn't your 'responsibility at all to provide clothes for your GC. Never mind saying "I feel it's responsibility too", it's his and his partner's responsibility full stop.
GPs only give gifts not funding a lifestyle.
Are they still living with you?
Who is paying the household and food bills?
Who is doing the laundry and housework?
Who is doing the necessary shopping?
Who is doing the cooking?
I can't believe that you are putting up with your selfish son's entitled and bullying attitude.
Tell them to get jobs and move out.

Flexiblefriend, he is saying "Oh HER Grandma gets up at 5am to chop wood, then goes to the market and cooks three hot meals a day for the family, does all the housework and looks after the baby" THAT sort of thing...Obviously, I need to work and I'm not Chinese so it doesn't really compute...

It is true that wealthier Chinese parents may buy a property for their son - and that generation will probably only have one child anyway.
However, it is probably true that better-off parents in the UK will give or lend the deposit for a property to their DC as it is so difficult to get on the property ladder.

Most people can't do this, most grandparents in the UK help out as much as they can, and happily, but the expectation is not there to fund their children's lifestyle.
Surely your son realises this?

Well..... If it's so great over there and HER Grandma does so much for them, they know what to do.
Don't let your Ds bully you!

Hes 17 months old and she gets upset if he eats solids but he seems hungry...

Sue, my husband feels he should get any job even if its Mcdonalds- and start contributing. So do I. We helped set them up and my son had loads of interviews but has been aiming a bit high in order to fulfil spouse visa applications- and hes been unsuccessful.

Why aren't they living the life of Riley (whoever he/she is) in China? You could visit. That would be great, wouldn't it?

I agree with other posters, it shouldn't be your problem to fund their lifestyle.

If they like the idea of her culture so much why don’t they live there?
Don’t give up work, they will move on one day and you will be left with nothing

M0nica no I didn't spoil him, but her family have treated him like a king because hes white and in China that seems to give an elevated position. He didnt use to act like this.