Daughter is not talking to me

-If you are for real.....- might be the point anja.

I do think we ve all been conned to be honest It’s not only that oldand has told an unbelievably story of a very uncaring mother and father but the dripfeed of bits that she seems almost proud to recount in a sensational way
Now watch me get deleted ??

It makes my blood boil when people do this as it can stir up really horrid things for people who read the thread.

And me bluebelle.

DH and I are in our 70s and just drop everything to lend a hand when needed by family. I was on chemotherapy after cancer surgery and still travelled to help out when needed.
DH is so dedicated to helping family that he has not told them that he is seriously ill.
Take care of yourself oldandpastit, don't want that cold settling on your chest, how on earth would you cope ?

I read this yesterday and decided to swerve it. Reading again this morning and factoring in the OP’s additional alarming tidbits, I think I made the right decision.

Perhaps if we all did that

I wonder if the tit-bit about the sister is true?

My family are my life and nothing and nobody else matters.

Thing is, jalima that lots of people are taken in.

I very much doubt that the sister is true or that any of it is true!!

harrigran,

Sorry 68 is not old. I am nearly 66 and still working part time and help with daughters and grandchildren regularly. You say you text couldn’t you have at least phoned every day, sent nice things for her ? As someone further up said most of us would walk on broken glass for our children I certainly wouldn’t have gone on holiday at such a time. If necessary I’d have got a taxi the whole way. My daughter used to live 150 miles away ( much nearer now) and I visited at least once a month usually more driving myself ( first time I did it heart in mouth ) you only had a cold it doesn’t last weeks. I think your daughter had a right to feel hurt

And I have spinal stenosis and am in pain most days

What you have just said is probably true, though, kittylester

Kindly posters still keep posting details of their own difficulties on this thread.

Are you enjoying your thread Oldandpastit
Have you still got all your own teeth?

I too have my doubts about a sister on here??

Just an instinct, but none of this sits quite right.

This is a very odd post.

I can understand why your daughter is upset.

Why did you choose this somewhat bizarre user name?
Are you poking fun at all Gransnetters ?

Thank you for all of your replies. I have called my daughter this morning, she sounded somewhat frosty, but has agreed that we can go there next weekend. I have decided having read your messages to buy her and the children a gift.

Stella. My husband finds the journey very taxing, as he has to drive. He lost his licence for six months as he had a passing out episode. My daughter drove to us instead. Since his licence has been returned he hasn't felt so confident to drive the distance.

I actually believe the OP is genuine. I know other parents with this attitude. It is sad but true. It almost sounds like my late MiL. She felt we owed her not the other way round.

At least Oldandpastit perhaps might have abandoned her holiday and put up in a nearby B and B near her daughter for the same duration as the holiday.
From my own point of view the holiday abroad was a very low value event as compared with relationship with daughter.

Your daughter , Oldandpastit, is as vulnerable as anyone else. How would you feel if she died and you had not done all you can for her?

Rent a little place near your daughter and do as much as you can? You don't have to take the curmudgeonly attitude of your husband. For the price of that hol abroad you could hire a taxi to take you to see your daughter.

Monica. Thank you for your message, at last someone that understands. My daughter has all this to come when she is my age.

My sister I feel is tiring of me talking about this problem with her, she is trying to 'sit on the fence' I suspect, so she told me to post as I will find support on here.

Every word of this post is true, I had tried to be very honest as to not give one side. When my daughter had her first child I got on two buses to see her every week for the first year or so. It took me the best part of all day there and back. I do tell her I love her, and I am not cold.

I was hurt when my daughter moved away. I don't think I have ever got over it. She tells me she had no choice, but I think everyone has the choice these days, she did it get away from us.
We have no one nearby now apart from my sister and brother in law, and she is always so busy with her children and grandchildren (that all live five minutes away) I hardly ever see her despite leaving around the corner. My son lives about 45 minutes away and is busy working and has a young family of his own.

Yes it is all rather upsetting that everyone feels I should be doing more, but I am on the waiting list for my own knee replacements and every day is a struggle for me.

If she hadn't moved away I could have helped her more. It was her choice not mine remember.

I would make sure I was there to help my DD I have just finished nursing her for 6 weeks after a hysterectomy going down to her house every day and bringing her to our house to make sure she doesn't excert herself.
Old&pastit if your husband does not like the drive why not go by train and pick up a hire car at the other end it solves all your travelling problems.
Nothing would keep me away from my DD if she was poorly even a holiday,and may I add 68 is far from old I am 68 and live a full busy happy life my OH is 75 and he is the most active person I know so please stop thinking you are both old you are not .

I txt her - she txt me - maybe a phone call might be better - after all they're free these days - even from Spain.

Many people haven’t got the choice to move away, despite what do you feel about that. Perhaps instead of stewing in that, you do in fact need to just move past it.

If you feel she did do it to get away from you, take a good long look at why do you think she might feel the need to do that.

I think you and your daughter need to have a long talk about what your expectations of each other are.

it was her choice not mine to move away

That is the part I do not get. I live in the Midlands my DD lives in Kent and my DS has just moved to Brighton. That is what is best for them and as their mother I am pleased for them. Okay it is far away from us but I do not think that is why they moved there.

Unfortunately pastit your post comes across as all about yourself and your DH. Your DD did not choose to be born and when you chose to give birth to her you should have become selfless and more giving in my humble opinion.